Chapter Text 正文
Day 169 第 169 天
"Hey, Rin? ...Are you awake?"
“嘿，Rin？……你醒着吗？”
"...Hm?" “……嗯？”
"I can't sleep." "我睡不着。"
Since king Isagi's second brush with death, he'd been, for lack of a better word, roommates with Rin. They'd come to a mutual agreement that he'd be safer sleeping somewhere other than his bedchambers... That was, until the traitor was found.
自从国王Isagi第二次与死神擦肩而过，他便与Rin成了某种意义上的室友。他们达成共识，认为国王睡在寝宫外会更安全……直到叛徒被找到为止。
So Isagi had reign over Rin's bed while Rin slept in a bed roll on the floor.
因此，Isagi占据了Rin的床铺，而Rin则睡在地板上的睡袋里。
Isagi had insisted that they share the bed, but it wasn't an idea well recieved. This brought about the subject of a persistently awkward thing still hanging between the two of them...
Isagi坚持要他们共用一张床，但这提议并未得到热烈响应。这引出了两人之间一直悬而未决的尴尬话题……
Something so glaringly obvious that it charged each and every moment of silence or eye contact they shared with heat and static.
那显而易见的事实，使得他们每一次沉默或眼神交汇的时刻都充满了热度与静电般的紧张。
They were in love with eachother.
他们彼此相爱。
The knight remained steadfast in his rejection, though. So by this fact, Rin would absolutely not sleep next to Isagi in his bed.
骑士依旧坚定地拒绝了。因此，Rin绝对不会与Isagi同床共枕。
Truthfully, he didn't want to give Isagi any ideas, in any way shape or form. He only wished for the king to forget about his feelings and everything else that had been said and done between them.
说实话，他不想以任何方式让Isagi产生任何念头。他只希望国王能忘记他们之间的感情以及所有说过和做过的事情。
"... Not my problem. Why'd you wake me up? Idiot."
“……不关我的事。你干嘛把我吵醒？白痴。”
"Sorry, I just... Wanted to talk."
“抱歉，我只是……想聊聊。”
Rin sighs. "Talk about what, at this time of night? You're better off just trying to sleep."
Rin 叹了口气。“这么晚了，聊什么？你还是尽量睡吧。”
"Well... Yeah. Probably."
“嗯……是啊。大概吧。”
There's a bit of a pause and lingering silence, wherein Rin thinks Isagi may have fallen back asleep. Not the case, though.
一阵短暂的停顿和余音缭绕的沉默中，Rin以为Isagi可能又睡着了。然而并非如此。
"I'm glad you're here with me, Rin."
"我很高兴你在这里陪着我，Rin。"
Rin stares up at the ceiling with blurry, sleepy vision.
Rin用模糊困倦的视线凝视着天花板。
"It's just like you to say such lukewarm things, idiot-king."
"你总是说这种不冷不热的话，笨蛋国王。"
"... Yeah. I'm lukewarm aren't I?"
"...是啊。我就是这么不冷不热，不是吗？"
Rin hears shuffling and looks up to the bed to investigate. He's met with possibly the most gentle gaze he's ever recieved, and it makes something inside of him hurt.
Rin听到窸窣声，抬头望向床铺查看。他迎上了一道或许是此生所见最温柔的目光，这让他内心某处隐隐作痛。
"I don't know if I'll ever be safe..." Isagi whispers, "But... When I'm with you, I feel safe. That's pretty lukewarm, isn't it?"
"我不知道自己是否还能安全..." Isagi 低语道，"但... 和你在一起时，我感到安心。这听起来挺平淡无奇的，不是吗？"
Rin silently stares back, gaze softened. He doesn't exactly know how to respond.
Rin 默默回望，目光柔和。他不太确定该如何回应。
"Go back to sleep, dumbass."
"回去睡觉吧，傻瓜。"
He turns his body away but still feels Isagi's eyes on him. The stare doesn't break and he starts to feel a little uncomfortable. Self-conscious, even. He's not used to this sort of thing and it throws him off a bit.
他转身避开，却仍能感受到Isagi的目光紧随其后。那凝视未曾中断，让他开始感到些许不安，甚至有些自我意识过强。他不习惯这种关注，这让他有些不知所措。
Isagi's eyes remain focused for a few minutes before his eyelids begin to flutter... His love finds him feeling at ease. His eyelids eventually become heavy as he stares and after a few minutes of this he's gently pulled off to sleep.
Isagi的目光持续专注了几分钟，直到眼睑开始微微颤动...他的爱人发现他已放松下来。随着长时间的凝视，他的眼皮逐渐沉重，几分钟后便被轻轻带入梦乡。
Rin, however, isn't tired. He hadn't actually been woken up by Isagi.
然而，Rin并不困倦。他并非真的被Isagi唤醒。
He hadn't slept yet that night at all and the time was past midnight.
那一夜他彻夜未眠，时间早已过了午夜。
You see, there was a growing difference between the two of them that was starting to present itself in ways such as this.
你看，他们之间日益增长的差异开始以这种方式显现出来。
Isagi's love for Rin filled him with warmth and comfort, such emotions that would often lull him to a restful sleep.
Isagi对Rin的爱让他感到温暖和安慰，这些情感常常让他安然入睡。
Rin's love for Isagi, on the other hand... It was something else.
Rin对Isagi的爱，则完全是另一回事。
Mingled with his deep need for a purpose, his desire to protect the king, yet still deeply conflicted about his change of heart, and ultimately about the fact that his hatred had somehow turned to the opposite... Rin's love was growing into something far different than Isagi's.
混杂着他对目标的深切渴望，对国王保护的欲望，同时内心深处又因心意的转变而矛盾重重，最终，他对这份仇恨不知何故转变成了相反的情感……Rin的爱正逐渐演变成与Isagi截然不同的形态。
With time it was warping and distorting. All these things paired with his borderline maniacally obsessive personality was transforming love, something normally wonderful and beautiful to behold, into other things far darker...
随着时间的推移，这份爱开始扭曲变形。这些因素与他近乎偏执狂般的个性相结合，将原本美好而令人向往的爱情，转化成了更为黑暗的东西……
Rin's love for Isagi was driving him down into the abysmal depths of obsession... Borderline into madness.
Rin对Isagi的爱恋正将他推向痴迷的深渊...近乎疯狂的边缘。
So rather than fall asleep, Rin lay awake with his eyes trained carefully on the ceiling above him.
因此，Rin宁愿保持清醒，双眼紧盯着头顶的天花板。
You see, there were many things Rin had done over the past few weeks that he'd kept secret from his king... There was much he now knew that Isagi did not.
要知道，过去几周里，Rin做了许多对国王隐瞒的事情...如今他知晓了许多Isagi所不知的秘密。
And he'd continue to keep these things hidden away under lock and key... Inevitably to his detriment.
而他将继续把这些秘密深锁于心...最终只会对自己不利。
Day 204 第 204 天
King Isagi sits on his throne, his posture stiff from a day on the ridiculously lavish yet somehow still uncomfortable seat.
国王Isagi端坐在他的宝座上，一整天坐在那奢华至极却又不知为何仍不舒适的座椅上，使得他的姿态显得僵硬。
The doors from outside slowly open. Isagi sits back and waits for who enters to present themself. He grimaces when he sees the unexpected yet familiar visitor.
门外的大门缓缓开启。Isagi坐回原位，等待着进来的人现身。当他看到这位意料之外却又熟悉的访客时，不禁皱起了眉头。
The nobleman from day 9 is storming across the throne room toward the king, clearly upset.
第九天的那位贵族怒气冲冲地穿过王座厅，直奔国王而来，显然是情绪激动。
"A familiar face, your grace," the king hears from Taro behind him.
“一张熟悉的面孔，陛下，”国王听到身后的太郎说道。
"Indeed." “确实。”
Now what on Earth brings you back to me after all these days? Isagi wonders.
这些日子过去，究竟是什么风把你吹回我这儿来了？Isagi 暗自思忖。
"You," the nobleman snarls up to the king, his plump round face showing displeasure.
“你，”贵族对着国王咆哮，圆润的脸庞显露出不悦。
The king already feels himself getting a little pissed off just looking upon the guy's patchy red complexion.
国王只是瞥了一眼那家伙斑驳的红脸，就已经感到自己有些恼火了。
There are a few people in tow behind him, too... Some of them sporting weapons. Isagi already thinks he knows what's going on.
他身后还跟着几个人...其中一些还带着武器。Isagi已经猜到了大概是怎么回事。
"Come here to intimidate me, have you?" Isagi asks with an intentionally bored tone to his voice.
“来这儿是想吓唬我吗？”Isagi用一种故意显得无聊的语气问道。
"You are no king of mine. I'll have you know, I've caught this plebian you've had me hire into my service stealing from me on multiple occasions. Multiple! Occasions! And—"
"你不是我的国王。我得告诉你，我雇来为我服务的这个平民，已经多次从我这里偷窃。多次！场合！而且——"
"Ask me if I give a shit."
"问我是否在乎。"
The king's unbothered demeanor seems to act as a catalyst. Now fuming, the round man stomps his way up to the stairs in front of Isagi's throne with his thugs in tow and proceeds to ascend. Isagi remains unmoved from his place and stares on.
国王那满不在乎的态度似乎成了催化剂。此刻怒火中烧的圆胖男人带着他的打手们，气冲冲地走向Isagi宝座前的台阶，并开始攀登。Isagi依旧稳坐不动，冷眼旁观。
When he reaches the top, the nobleman finds an imposing person standing between himself and the king.
当他到达顶端时，贵族发现一个气势逼人的人挡在他和国王之间。
"Back off you waste of space," Rin snarls menacingly.
"滚开，你这个占地方的废物，" Rin 恶狠狠地咆哮道。
"Out of my way you troglodyte. This brat who calls himself a king needs to be taught a lesson!"
"让开，你这个穴居人。这个自称国王的小子需要好好上一课！"
Rin shoves the man back with both hands, however, he hears from behind him:
Rin 用双手将那人推开，却听到身后传来：
"Let him approach." "让他过来。"
Rin looks back to see Isagi had pushed himself up to his feet. He now stands, staring with cold eyes intently fixated on the imposing nobleman.
Rin 回头一看，只见 Isagi 已经挣扎着站起身来。他现在站立着，冷眼凝视着那位气势逼人的贵族。
"Your grace—" "大人——"
"Hold your tongue, Taro."
"住口，太郎。"
Rin steps to the side.
Rin 向旁边迈了一步。
"You... You brat... I'll have you know—"
“你...你这小子...我得让你知道——”
"Bring him here and the king's justice will find him," Isagi interrupts, "There's no reason for you to make a scene like this."
“把他带过来，国王的正义自会审判他，”Isagi打断道，“你没有理由在这里闹事。”
This doesn't seem to placate the man at all, though. He only seems to grow angrier.
然而，这番话似乎丝毫没有平息那人的怒火，反而让他更加愤怒了。
"No... No. The king's justice is worthless. I'll teach you a lesson, you brat." The man waddles forward and stops in front of the king. He's a bit taller than Isagi but the difference in their stomach size is quite the disparity.
“不……不。国王的正义一文不值。我要给你个教训，小崽子。”男人蹒跚着走上前，停在国王面前。他比Isagi稍高一些，但两人肚子的尺寸差距却相当明显。
"Teach me a lesson? And what, exactly, would you presume to—"
“给我个教训？你倒是说说看，你究竟打算——”
Thwack. 啪。
The sound rings sharp across the walls of the throne room... The sound of a back-handed slap, which had landed dead center on Isagi's cheek. The nobleman's ring left a red mark where it struck.
响声尖锐地回荡在王座厅的墙壁间……那是反手一巴掌的声音，正中Isagi的脸颊。贵族的戒指在他被击中的地方留下了一道红痕。
"You..." Isagi snaps his head back around to the nobleman, but he's shoved back and out of the way.
“你……”Isagi猛地转回头瞪向那位贵族，却被一把推开，挤到了一旁。
Rin now stands between them again.
现在，Rin再次站在了他们两人之间。
"Rin, it's okay, I—" "Rin, 没事的，我——"
"Sit back down, idiot-king."
"坐下，傻瓜国王。"
Though Isagi doesn't see Rin's face, the tone of his voice is quite unsettling.
尽管Isagi看不到Rin的脸，但他的语气相当令人不安。
"You again? Protecting your brat of a... Brat... Of a..."
又是你？保护你那小崽子……小崽子……的……
The nobleman's former conviction is depleting by the second as he looks into Rin's eyes.
贵族原本坚定的信念在他凝视着Rin的眼睛时，正一秒秒地消散。
Thud. Thud. Thud. 咚。咚。咚。
Rin steps forward and the nobleman tumbles back. He stumbles, hands flailing, clearly panicking.
Rin 向前一步，贵族踉跄后退。他双手乱舞，显然惊慌失措。
The eyes he finds himself looking into are hardly recognizably human.
他发现自己正对视着一双几乎无法辨认为人形的眼睛。
"W-wait..." "等...等等..."
When they stop at the top of the stairs leading down, Rin's left arm shoots out and grips the nobleman's thick neck. He squeezes his fingers tighter and tighter.
当他们停在通往楼下的楼梯顶端时，Rin的左臂猛地伸出，紧紧抓住贵族粗壮的脖子。他手指越收越紧。
"Rin... Stop..." Isagi begs. He steps forward and puts a hand on Rin's shoulder but its shrugged off.
"Rin... 停下..." Isagi恳求道。他上前一步，伸手搭在Rin的肩上，却被甩开了。
"Guh... Geh..." the nobleman squirms at the increasing strength of Rin's grip. His thugs are now walking up the stairs toward Rin. The other king's guard watch on but do nothing.
"呃... 咯..." 贵族在Rin不断加大的握力下挣扎。他的打手们正走上楼梯，朝Rin逼近。另一位国王的护卫们只是旁观，却未采取任何行动。
"You have no right to lay your filthy paws on the king," Rin hisses. His hand reaches down and draws his sword from its sheath.
“你没有权利将你肮脏的爪子放在国王身上，”Rin低声咆哮。他的手伸向下方，从鞘中抽出剑。
"Rin, stop!" “Rin，住手！”
Rin thinks he hears the king begging from behind but the words don't reach him. The reasonable side of him is being buried beneath the welling inferno of his unfathomable bloodlust.
Rin觉得他听到国王在背后乞求，但那些话语并未传入他耳中。理智的一面正被他那难以抑制的血腥欲望之火所掩埋。
It's that side of him coming out now. The side of Rin that most people would never see. The side of him that always slumbers in the dark confines of his heart, waiting patiently to surface itself when it's set off... The side of him that would turn him into a single-minded killing machine.
这就是他此刻展现的一面。Rin那大多数人未曾目睹的一面。深藏于他内心阴暗角落，耐心等待着被触发而浮现的一面...使他化身为一心杀戮的机器的一面。
The only ones who had seen this side of Rin in the past had ended up dead after.
过去曾见过Rin这一面的人，最终都难逃一死。
His jaw falls slack and his tongue drops out from his mouth. The shape of his lips curl gently up into some vicious mockery of a smirk. He raises his blade but feels something pushing his arm down.
他的下巴松弛，舌头从口中垂落。唇形微微上扬，勾勒出一抹恶毒的嘲讽式微笑。他举起刀刃，却感到有什么力量在压制他的手臂。
It's of little consequence to him now. Whatever it is, he shoves it to the side.
这对他已无关紧要。无论是什么，他都将其抛诸脑后。
There may have been screams or shouts but Rin doesn't notice... Everything around him is all reduced down to a blur. The blade in his hand lashes out and strikes to kill. He then drops the limp and bloody body from his grasp and slowly paces down the stairs.
或许有尖叫或呼喊，但Rin并未察觉...他周围的一切都化作模糊一片。手中的刀刃猛然挥出，直取性命。随后，他松开那具瘫软带血的躯体，缓缓步下楼梯。
The embodyment of carnage sees movement... The thugs are running from him.
这杀戮的化身察觉到了动静...暴徒们正从他身边逃窜。
They will not escape.
他们无法逃脱。
Trapped in the abyss of his trance, Rin's blade plunges into one man's heart without hesitation. Two more are decapitated. One's neck is sliced open though his head remains on his shoulders.
被困于他恍惚的深渊中，Rin的刀刃毫不犹豫地刺入一人的心脏。又有两人被斩首。一人的脖子被切开，尽管头颅仍留在肩上。
The final target had been knocked to the ground and is laying on his back on the floor, weapon beside him, arm out in front of him trembling. His mouth is moving but Rin hears nothing.
最终的目标已被击倒在地，仰面躺在地板上，武器旁，手臂颤抖地伸向前方。他的嘴在动，但Rin什么也听不见。
Rin pulls the horrified person from the floor. Though he can feel the tremoring of the body gripped in his hands, it doesn't sway him from his path. He yanks the head back, watches as the man's eyes bulge in terror, and draws his blade across the thugs neck, thereby removing his head from its body.
Rin 从地板上拽起那个惊恐万分的人。尽管他能感受到手中紧握的身体在颤抖，但这并未动摇他的决心。他猛地将那人的头向后拉，看着对方因恐惧而瞪大的双眼，随即挥刀划过恶棍的脖子，将其头颅与身体分离。
From his place beside his throne, Isagi is paralyzed, frozen in place by dread. All he sees now is Rin, dripping crimson from head-to-toe, back still facing him.
站在王座旁的Isagi 此刻如遭雷击，恐惧令他僵立原地。眼前所见唯有Rin，从头到脚血迹斑斑，背对着他。
"Rin... What... Why—" "Rin... 什么... 为什么——"
Rin's head whips around to meet the sound of Isagi's voice. When they make eye contact, Isagi flinches and recoils in horror.
Rin猛地转头，迎向Isagi的声音。当他们目光相接时，Isagi惊恐地退缩了一下。
The eyes he's looking into, the strange and deeply disturbing expression he's met with, Rin's posture... It was something Isagi never expected to see.
他正凝视的双眼，那诡异且令人深感不安的表情，Rin的姿态……这一切都是Isagi未曾预料到的。
The Rin he now sees, eyes blackened with bloodlust,
tongue hanging from his mouth like an animal, does not look human at all. The Rin he sees is a grotesque immitation of a human.
眼前的Rin，眼中闪烁着嗜血的光芒，舌头像野兽般垂在嘴边，全然不似人类。他所见的Rin，则是一个扭曲的人形模仿。
Monster. That's the first word that crosses Isagi's mind.
怪物。这是Isagi脑海中闪过的第一个词。
"R-Rin... You..." "R-Rin... 你..."
With startling swiftness, the knight is back up beside the king. Though it isn't easy to get a rise out of Isagi... He's clearly very freightened.
骑士以惊人的速度回到了国王身边。虽然要让Isagi情绪波动并不容易... 但他显然非常害怕。
They look across their shoulders at eachother, palpable tension in their eye-contact. Isagi's hands close into fists at his sides as he attempts to calm his nerves.
他们彼此越过肩膀对视，目光中紧张感清晰可辨。Isagi的双手在身侧紧握成拳，试图平复内心的不安。
Rin doesn't say or do anything else. He dashes off into the castle, leaving the king and his advisors in the wake of his carnage and in shocked silence behind.
Rin没有再说或做任何其他事。他疾步冲入城堡，留下国王及其顾问们在他的破坏与震惊的沉默中。
*
Isagi places his housecoat over over his body and departs the ensuite.
Isagi将睡袍披在身上，离开了套间浴室。
Tonight, he's decided he'll sleep in his own bed. Today he doesn't care about the danger posed by assassins... The happenings in the throne room earlier in the day have disturbed him. Truthfully, he doesn't think he can bring himself to be alone with Rin, either.
今晚，他决定睡在自己的床上。今天他不在乎刺客带来的危险……白天在王座室发生的事情让他心烦意乱。说实话，他也不认为自己能独自面对Rin。
It's late in the night but the king hasn't slept. It's the second bath he's taken in hopes of calming his nerves.
夜已深，但国王还未入睡。这是他为了平复心情而洗的第二次澡。
He plods across his room to his vanity and seats himself in front of the mirror to examine the mark on his face. The place where the nobleman's ring had made contact with his cheek is now red and swollen at its center with a purple bruise encircling it. He leans in closer to get a better look.
他拖着沉重的脚步穿过房间，来到梳妆台前，坐在镜子前仔细查看脸上的痕迹。贵族戒指触碰过的脸颊部位现在红肿着，中心发紫，周围一圈瘀伤。他凑近了些，想看得更清楚。
Maybe something cold would reduce the swelling... he thinks.
或许冷敷能消肿……他思忖着。
As he touches at the bruise, his eye catches the reflection of something in the mirror, in the corner of his room... In the darkness.
当他轻触瘀伤时，眼角瞥见镜中反射的某物，藏于房间一隅……在黑暗中。
He jumps, startled, and snaps himself around.
他惊跳起来，猛地转身。
The figure shrouded in darkness steps out to reveal itself.
黑暗中的人影缓缓走出，显露真容。
"Rin...?"
He regards the king's guard standing before him in the dim lamplight. Isagi notes darker patches on the man's uniform.
他在昏黄的灯光下打量着站在面前的国王卫兵。Isagi注意到对方制服上的深色斑点。
Blood. 血。
Illuminated by the silvery touch of the late-night full moon, the pure, angelic white of king Isagi's housecoat is a stark contrast to the black and gold blood-stained garb of his king's guard.
在深夜满月的银辉映照下，国王Isagi那纯白如天使般的睡袍与他的王室卫队那沾满黑金血迹的装束形成了鲜明对比。
Rin slowly steps across the room toward Isagi, while the king rises and steps backwards and away.
Rin缓缓地穿过房间走向Isagi，而国王则起身，向后退去。
"Rin... You..." "Rin... 你..."
"I what? Saved you?" "我怎么了？救了你？"
"No..." Isagi's back thuds against the wall behind him, "You... You've damaged my reputation, spilled blood in the throne room of all—"
"不..." Isagi的后背猛地撞上背后的墙壁，"你... 你毁了我的名声，在王座厅里洒下了血——"
"They would've done it first if I hadn't."
"如果我不先动手，他们早就做了。"
Though Isagi has stopped, Rin moves in closer. He presses himself in against the king's body, tarnishing the perfect white fabric of Isagi's housecoat with smears of blood.
尽管Isagi已经停下，Rin却更靠近了些。他紧贴着国王的身体，将Isagi洁白无瑕的睡袍染上了血迹。
"What's wrong, your grace?" Rin whispers, his voice coiling with malice.
"怎么了，陛下？" Rin低声问道，声音中带着恶意。
"Rin... Have you any idea what you've done? Any idea how this... This atrocity—"
"Rin... 你知道你做了什么吗？你知道这... 这暴行——"
The king's words catch in his throat. He notices something that freezes his blood in his veins.
国王的话哽在喉咙里。他注意到一件令他血液凝固的事情。
The smell of blood is filling his nostrils, terror stuns him and sends his heart pounding in his chest. One of Rin's hands is reaching up to touch his face, but it's red, and not deep red, the color of aged and clotted blood...
血腥味充斥着他的鼻腔，恐惧让他愣住，心跳如鼓点般在胸腔内狂跳。Rin的一只手正伸上来触碰他的脸，但那手是红色的，不是深红，而是陈旧凝结的血液的颜色...
It's the scarlet-red shade of fresh blood.
那是鲜血般的猩红色泽。
"Rin... T-the blood..." “Rin... 这血...”
When Isagi tilts his head to the side, eyes wide, he makes eye-contact with Rin. It immediately horrifies him. He drops his face away and he grits his teeth.
当Isagi侧过头，睁大双眼时，他与Rin四目相对。这情景立刻让他惊恐万分。他迅速别开脸，咬紧牙关。
"Rin... Why is there fresh blood on your hands?"
"Rin... 你手上为何有新鲜血迹？"
Rin leans in even closer. Though his gaze is soft, it's not exactly reassuring to Isagi in the way it used to be.
Rin 靠得更近了。尽管他的目光柔和，但对 Isagi 来说，已不再像从前那样令人安心。
"I've killed them." Isagi hears the words breathed into his ear and he shudders.
"我杀了他们。" Isagi 听到耳边轻声吐露的话语，不禁颤抖。
God, no... Please... 天哪，不...求你了...
"K-killed... Who? Assassins?"
“被...杀了...谁？刺客吗？”
"No..." Rin replies, his voice seething with quiet rage.
“不是...”Rin回答道，声音中压抑着隐忍的怒火。
"The traitors." "叛徒。"
The statement racks Isagi with such horror, he's stunned and frozen into silence. His hands at his sides tremble violently and he struggles to breathe normally.
这句话如雷贯耳，Isagi惊恐万分，呆若木鸡，哑口无言。他双侧的手剧烈颤抖，努力维持正常呼吸。
One of the bloody hands touches Isagi's chin gently, pulling his face up and forcing their gazes to meet. The eye-contact would have reassured or comforted Isagi in the past, but now, it only fills him with fear.
一只血手轻触Isagi的下巴，缓缓抬起他的脸，迫使两人目光交汇。以往这种眼神交流或许能安抚或慰藉Isagi，如今却只让他心生恐惧。
"God... No... Rin, please tell me... Tell me it's not true..."
"上帝...不...Rin，请告诉我...告诉我这不是真的..."
There's tears welling in the corners of Isagi's eyes now. Rin notices immediately.
Isagi的眼角此刻涌出了泪水。Rin立刻注意到了。
"Why do you cry, your grace? You're safe now."
"您为何哭泣，阁下？您现在安全了。"
"Safe...?" Isagi can barely bring himself to cough the word out.
"安全...？" Isagi 几乎无法将这个词咳出声来。
"I—I... Trusted you... Rin, I..."
"我...我...信任你...Rin，我..."
Rin's upper lip curls ever so slightly into a menacing expression. "And I've—"
Rin 的上唇微微卷起，露出一丝威胁的表情。"而我..."
"You've what? What? You've what, Rin? Answer me?! What, exactly, do you think you've done for me? By slaughtering people in the throne room? Slaughtering... People in the castle? People who worked for me? God, I..."
“你做了什么？什么？你做了什么，Rin？回答我？！你到底以为你为我做了什么？在王座厅屠杀人们？屠杀……城堡里的人？为我工作的人？天啊，我……”
"I've saved you." “我救了你。”
The king shakes his head briskly in disbelief. He rips the hand from his face and breaks eye-contact.
国王难以置信地猛摇头，一把扯开脸上的手，移开了视线。
"H-how... How many people... In the castle...?" Isagi asks, his voice hoarse, petrified of the answer that awaits him.
“这...这里...有多少人...？”Isagi嘶哑地问道，声音中充满了对即将听到答案的恐惧。
"...How many did you kill?"
“...你杀了多少人？”
"How many traitors did I find? How many traitors did I save you from?" Rin snarls. He shifts his face in close to Isagi's neck, sending hot breath across the king's skin.
“我发现了多少叛徒？我替你铲除了多少叛徒？”Rin咆哮着，将脸贴近Isagi的脖颈，热气喷洒在国王的皮肤上。
"Twenty-four." "二十四。"
The king shudders. 国王浑身一颤。
Twenty-four of his subjects... Murdered in their beds. All because he was too stupid to see Rin's true nature... Too blinded by his foolish love and trust to see what had been staring him dead in the eyes from day 1.
他的二十四位臣民……在睡梦中被杀害。全因他愚蠢到未能识破Rin的真面目……被那愚蠢的爱与信任蒙蔽了双眼，未能从第一天起就直视那显而易见的事实。
Rin's obsession with him was a ticking time-bomb. It always had been.
Rin对他的痴迷犹如一颗定时炸弹，从未改变。
"This... This justice you've brought upon these people... It isn't mine, Rin."
“你带给这些人的...这份正义...并不属于我，Rin。”
Now, Isagi's resolve begins to return to him. He grips at the collar of Rin's uniform and shoves him back.
此刻，Isagi的决心重新燃起。他紧抓Rin制服的领口，猛地将他推开。
"You've made a grave misstep here, Rin..." he whsipers, "You... You should have known better, Rin... You should have brought this to me. It's the king who decides the fates of criminals, even traitors and heretics, this was not how the king would handle things..."
“你在这里犯了一个严重的错误，Rin...”他低声说道，“你...你本该更明白的，Rin...你本该将此事交给我。决定罪犯命运的，即便是叛徒和异端，也是国王，这不是国王处理事情的方式...”
Rin's expression is slowly turning down as he listens.
Rin的表情随着他的话慢慢变得阴沉。
"Your justice is not mine, Rin. You wear my colors and would commit such acts in my name, yet you hold no true understanding of me... Not at all. Is this how you'd show... Dedication? Love?"
“你的正义并非我的，Rin。你身着我的颜色，以我的名义行事，却对我毫无真正的理解...一点也没有。这就是你展现...忠诚？爱意的方式吗？”
One of Rin's hands flips up and crashes into Isagi's neck. The force slams the king back against the wall and shoves a grunt from the air in his lungs.
Rin的一只手猛地抬起，重重击打在Isagi的脖颈上。这股力量将国王猛地撞向墙壁，迫使他肺中的空气发出一声闷哼。
"I've done this for you, fool... Did I not give you enough warning? Did I not push you away enough? This is what happens when you love someone like me."
“我为你做了这一切，傻瓜……难道我没有给你足够的警告吗？难道我没有足够推开你吗？这就是爱上像我这样的人的下场。”
Isagi shoves back with both hands, with all the strength he can muster, and it throws Rin into a stumble backwards.
Isagi用尽全力，双手猛推回去，使得Rin踉跄后退。
"You..." “你……”
Tap. Tap. Tap. Isagi's bare footfalls step across the floor.
轻踏，轻踏，轻踏。Isagi赤足踏过地板。
The king's wrath is a sight to behold. Even one such as Rin finds himself the tiniest bit freightened by the flash of rage in those normally gentle sapphire blue eyes.
国王的怒火令人望而生畏。即便是Rin，也因那双平日温柔的蓝宝石眼眸中闪现的怒意而感到一丝惊惧。
"You, Rin. Are the true traitor."
"你，Rin，才是真正的叛徒。"
Rin's eyes widen. All of his previous confidence in his actions is being wiped away.
Rin的眼睛瞪大了，他之前对自己行动的所有自信正在被抹去。
"Get out of my sight, Rin."
"滚出我的视线，Rin。"
"No... I—" “不...我——”
"Get out! I never want to see your damned face here again! You're banished from my service!"
“滚出去！我再也不想在这里看到你那该死的脸！你被逐出我的侍从之列了！”
Rin's head shakes side-to-side.
Rin 的头左右摇晃。
"No... Do you not understand? This is for you... All of this... If you despise my methods then prosecute me for my actions... But don't..."
“不... 你难道不明白吗？这都是为了你... 这一切... 如果你鄙视我的手段，那就因我的行为审判我... 但别...”
Now Isagi's head shakes side-to-side.
现在Isagi的头左右摇晃。
"This is your prosecution. The king's justice finds you now, Itoshi Rin. Your punishment is exile. From the castle... And from the king's service."
“这是对你的审判。国王的正义此刻降临于你，Itoshi Rin。你的惩罚是流放。从城堡... 以及国王的侍从中。”
Rin's eyes widen and glitter helplessly. In that moment, he looks like an innocent child being plunged into despair to Isagi. The king can't help but feel a little guilty.
Rin的眼睛瞪大，无助地闪烁着。那一刻，他看起来就像一个被推向绝望的无辜孩子，面对着Isagi。国王不禁感到一丝内疚。
"W-wait..." Rin stammers.
“等——等等……”Rin结巴着说。
"You, Rin... Are no knight, no friend... No lover to me."
“你，Rin……不是我的骑士，不是我的朋友……也不是我的爱人。”
The knight slowly steps backward. His face grows pale and his expression now sheds any hint of his previous anger, bloodlust, or conviction.
骑士缓缓后退，面色苍白，神情中先前的愤怒、嗜血与坚定已荡然无存。
"Leave." Isagi's order is spoken with a tone of finality.
“离开。”Isagi的命令带着不容置疑的口吻。
When he's alone again, Isagi falls to the floor on his hands and knees and cries out at the top of his lungs, until every last bit of oxygen in his lungs is used. Until he loses his breath and he tastes metal on his tongue.
当他再次独处时，Isagi双手双膝着地，跪倒在地，放声大哭，直到肺中的每一丝氧气耗尽。直至他喘不过气来，舌尖尝到了金属的味道。
Such a miscalculation... Such a terrible miscalculation on my part...
如此严重的误判...我竟犯下如此可怕的错误...
The king's fists ball and slam against the floor. He stares at the marble beneath him, wondering how he'd never noticed what was going on right under his nose.
国王的拳头紧握，猛击地面。他凝视着脚下的石板，疑惑自己怎会从未察觉近在咫尺的异状。
If Rin had killed twenty-four people... That was about a third of the people who worked in the castle. That only suggested that he was selective in who he killed.
如果Rin已夺去二十四条生命...那几乎是城堡内工作人员的三分之一。这只能说明他在选择受害者时极为挑剔。
Meaning, he must have investigated this on his own... All on his own. Isagi doesn't know how but it must have taken Rin a considerable amount of time to incriminate each and every person he'd killed.
意思是，他一定是独自调查了这一切...全凭自己。Isagi不知道他是怎么做到的，但Rin肯定花了相当长的时间来指控每一个他杀掉的人。
God... he thinks, biting back the tears that threaten his eyes, He was right... I really am a damn fool.
天啊...他咬紧牙关，忍住眼眶中涌动的泪水，心想，他说得对...我真是个该死的傻瓜。
Loving this person, trusting this person, letting his guard down for this one person... Had cost him dearly.
爱上这个人，信任这个人，只为这个人放下戒备...这一切让他付出了沉重的代价。
The bloodshed in the castle would no doubt reach the ears of the common people. Everything he'd worked for to cleanse his reputation of his father's tyranny... It was all a waste.
城堡中的血腥事件无疑会传到平民百姓耳中。他为了洗清父亲暴政带来的污名所付出的一切努力……全都白费了。
"Damnit... Fucking damnit!"
“该死……真他妈该死！”
A weaker man may have found himself slitting his own wrists or drowning himself in the bathtub that night.
若是心志稍弱之人，那晚或许会选择割腕自尽或溺毙在浴缸里。
King Isagi was no weakling.
Isagi国王绝非弱者。
He'd found himself contemplating suicide on several occasions because of assassination attempts. Because of people hating him. Because of how alone in the world he was. He'd felt he would never escape his heavily tarnished reputation.
他曾多次因暗杀企图而陷入自杀的沉思。因为人们的憎恨。因为他在世上的孤独。他觉得自己永远无法摆脱那声名狼藉的阴影。
However, as he sat there on the floor, Isagi Yoichi didn't find himself contemplating suicide again... He found himself feeling pissed off.
然而，当他坐在地板上时，Isagi Yoichi并没有再次陷入自杀的念头...他发现自己感到愤怒。
Pissed off at his own weakness.
对自己的软弱感到愤怒。
His fists tighten and his head slowly raises to stare at the door... The one he'd watched Rin depart from not long prior.
他握紧拳头，缓缓抬起头，凝视着那扇门……不久前，他亲眼目睹Rin从那里离开。
King Isagi was far from weak-minded. He'd make an example of this experience... It'd leave a perminant mark on his heart and soul for the rest of his days.
国王Isagi绝非意志薄弱之人。他会将这次经历铭记于心……它将在他余生的心灵深处留下永恒的烙印。
He'd prove to the kingdom 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger', and use that red string of fate to pull himself out from the deepest depths of his despair.
他要向王国证明“那些杀不死你的，只会让你更强大”，并利用那根红线命运将自己从绝望的最深处拉出。
Day 209 第 209 天
Rin staggers forward and falls to the ground.
Rin 蹒跚前行，最终倒在地上。
He'd done almost nothing but walk and walk and walk since his banishment from the castle.
自从被逐出城堡以来，他几乎什么也没做，只是不停地走着，走着，走着。
He didn't know where he was going or what he was doing so he simply placed one foot in front of the other and walked forward. However, five days of barely any food, drink, or rest was taking its toll.
他不知道自己要去哪里，也不知道自己在做什么，只是机械地将一只脚迈到另一只脚前，继续前行。然而，五天来几乎未进食物、饮水和休息，正逐渐耗尽他的体力。
Maybe this is how I die... he thinks, face downturned, staring at the dirt between his hands.
或许这就是我的死法吧……他心想，脸庞低垂，凝视着双手间的泥土。
He'd failed at everything. Failed to kill Isagi. Failed to protect Isagi... Failed to love Isagi. Now, having failed at every single thing that had given his worthless life any meaning, Rin felt absolutely defeated as he sat there with his hands against the ground.
他一事无成。未能杀死Isagi。未能保护Isagi……未能爱Isagi。如今，在所有赋予他无意义生命以价值的事情上都遭遇失败后，Rin感到彻底挫败，双手撑地坐在那里。
Why the hell... What the hell is wrong with me? Am I really good for nothing in this world except... Killing? Why am I like this?... I'm worthless.
到底为什么……我到底哪里出了问题？难道我在这个世界上真的除了……杀人之外一无是处吗？我为什么会变成这样？……我毫无价值。
Violence. It was always violence. How could he ever escape this vicious cycle he'd doomed himself to?
暴力。总是暴力。他如何才能逃脱这个自陷其中的恶性循环？
"Hey mister... Are you okay?"
"嘿，先生... 你还好吗？"
Rin slowly raises his head to find the source of the voice.
Rin 缓缓抬起头，寻找声音的来源。
Two young boys... Maybe five and seven are standing and looking at him with wide eyes. The younger hides behind the older, hands gripping nervously at his brother's shirt. They look poor, a little skinny, dirty, and the older brother has a basket of rice clutched against his chest.
两个小男孩... 大约五岁和七岁，站在那里，睁大眼睛看着他。年幼的那个躲在哥哥身后，双手紧张地抓着哥哥的衬衫。他们看起来很穷，有些瘦弱，脏兮兮的，哥哥怀里还紧紧抱着一个装满米饭的篮子。
Rin wonders for a moment why his heart aches to gaze upon these boys, then he realizes...
Rin 凝视着这些男孩，心中为何隐隐作痛，他一时不解，随后恍然大悟...
He's reminded of him and Sae.
他想起了自己和 Sae 的往事。
Rin is suddenly thrown back in time, to simpler days. Days when he'd grab at the back of Sae's shirt, just like this little boy... Days when they'd play pranks on the neighbors, fish in the river near their home, or buy candy from the local store to eat together.
Rin 仿佛被时光倒流，回到了那些简单纯真的日子。那时，他会像这个小男孩一样，紧紧抓住 Sae 的衬衫后摆... 那时，他们会在邻居家搞恶作剧，在家附近的河里钓鱼，或是从当地小店买糖果一起分享。
There was nothing in the world that would ever bring Sae back to him... Nothing. He'd never feel his brother's hugs or hear the sound of his voice again.
世间再无任何事物能将Sae带回他身边...绝无可能。他再也感受不到哥哥的拥抱，再也听不到他的声音。
He'd never know how it feels to be loved again.
他再也无法体会被爱的感觉。
He'd lost Sae, lost his parents, and at his worst, even when he'd found one other who did grow to love him... He'd somehow managed to lose them, too.
他失去了Sae，失去了父母，即便在最糟糕的时刻，当他终于找到另一个真心爱他的人...不知怎的，他还是失去了他们。
"He's crying..." Rin hears from the younger boy. His hand brushes up against his cheek and he feels moisture on his fingertips.
"他在哭..." Rin 从那个小男孩那里听到。他的手轻触脸颊，指尖感受到湿润。
"Hey, mister... Wanna come over for dinner?" the older boy asks.
"嘿，先生... 想来我家吃晚饭吗？" 大一点的男孩问道。
Rin's gaze meets with the boy's eyes. Such innocence. He finds he doesn't even have the energy to question himself anymore. He has nothing else in the world to lose.
Rin 的目光与男孩的眼睛相遇。如此纯真。他发现自己连质疑自己的力气都没有了。他在这个世界上已一无所有。
"Yeah... Sure." “嗯……当然。”
"Mum makes the best rice!" the younger boy says.
“妈妈做的米饭最棒了！”小男孩说道。
When the kids walk past him, Rin turns back and watches them a moment. He then unbuckles his sword and scabbard and tosses them off into the trees.
当孩子们从他身边走过时，Rin转过身，注视了他们一会儿。随后，他解开剑和鞘，将它们抛向了树林中。
"It's this way, mister!" “这边，先生！”
He rises to his feet, turns, and follows the boys back down the road he'd just walked. As they walk, it starts to rain. Though it's a bit of an annoyance, Rin can't help but feel...
他站起身，转身，跟着男孩们沿着刚走过的路返回。他们走着，天开始下雨。虽然有些烦人，但Rin不禁感到...
Maybe, just maybe, the rain would wash the blood from his hands.
或许，只是或许，雨水能洗净他手上的血迹。