My hour of memoryless lucidity

This is a linkpost for https://ericneyman.wordpress.com/2024/05/04/my-hour-of-memoryless-lucidity/
這是 https://ericneyman.wordpress.com/2024/05/04/my-hour-of-memoryless-lucidity/ 的連結帖子

Yesterday, I had a coronectomy: the top halves of my bottom wisdom teeth were surgically removed. It was my first time being sedated, and I didn’t know what to expect. While I was unconscious during the surgery, the hour after surgery turned out to be a fascinating experience, because I was completely lucid but had almost zero short-term memory.
昨天，我做了冠狀切除手術：透過手術拔掉了我下半邊智齒。這是我第一次使用鎮靜劑，我不知道會發生什麼事。雖然我在手術過程中昏迷不醒，但手術後的一個小時讓我大開眼界，因為我完全清醒，但短期記憶幾乎是零。

My girlfriend, who had kindly agreed to accompany me to the surgery, was with me during that hour. And so — apparently against the advice of the nurses — I spent that whole hour talking to her and asking her questions.
我的女朋友好心地答應陪我去手術室，在那一個小時裡她一直陪著我。因此，我顯然違背了護士們的建議，花了整整一個小時與她交談並向她提問。

The biggest reason I find my experience fascinating is that it has mostly answered a question that I’ve had about myself for quite a long time: how deterministic am I?
我發現自己的經歷引人入勝的最大原因是，它在很大程度上回答了我長久以來對自己的一個疑問：我到底有多大的決定性？

In computer science, we say that an algorithm is deterministic if it’s not random: if it always behaves the same way when it’s in the same state. In this case, my “state” was my environment (lying drugged on a bed with my IV in and my girlfriend sitting next to me) plus the contents of my memory. Normally, I don’t ask the same question over and over again because the contents of my memory change when I ask the question the first time: after I get an answer, the answer is in my memory, so I don’t need to ask the question again. But for that hour, the information I processed came in one ear and out the other in a matter of minutes. And so it was a natural test of whether my memory is the only thing keeping me from saying the same things on loop forever, or whether I’m more random/spontaneous than that.^[1]
在計算機科學中，如果一個演算法不是隨機的，我們就說它是確定性的：如果它在相同的狀態下總是以相同的方式運作。在這種情況下，我的 "狀態 "就是我所處的環境（躺在床上，打著點滴，女朋友坐在我旁邊）加上我的記憶內容。通常，我不會反覆問同一個問題，因為當我第一次問問題時，我記憶中的內容就已經改變了：在我得到答案後，答案就在我的記憶中，所以我不需要再問這個問題。但在那一個小時裡，我所處理的資訊在幾分鐘內就從一隻耳朵傳入，又從另一隻耳朵傳出。因此，這是對我的記憶力是否是唯一讓我不會永遠循環說同樣的話，或者我是否比記憶力更隨機/自發的一個自然測試。 ^[1]

And as it turns out, I’m pretty deterministic! According to my girlfriend, I spent a lot of that hour cycling between the same few questions on loop: “How did the surgery go?” (it went well), “Did they just do a coronectomy or did they take out my whole teeth?” (just a coronectomy), “Is my IV still in?” (yes), “how long was the surgery?” (an hour and a half), “what time is it?”, and “how long have you been here?”. (The length of that cycle is also interesting, because it gives an estimate of how long I was able to retain memories for — apparently about two minutes.)
而事實證明，我是個非常果斷的人！據我女朋友說，在那一個小時裡，我一直在循環問同樣的幾個問題："手術怎麼樣？(手術很順利）、"他們只是做了冠狀切除術，還是把我的整顆牙齒都拔掉了？ "（只是做了冠狀切除術）、"我的點滴還在嗎？ (是的），"手術做了多久？"(一個半小時​​）、"現在幾點了？"、"你在這裡多久了？"。 (這個週期的長度也很有趣，因為它可以估算出我能夠保留記憶的時間--顯然是兩分鐘左右）。

(Toward the end of that hour, I remember asking, “I know I’ve already asked this twice, but did they just do a coronectomy?” (The answer: “actually you’ve asked that much more than twice, and yes, it was just a coronectomy.))
(在那一個小時快結束時，我記得自己問了一句："我知道我已經問過兩次了，但他們剛剛做了冠狀動脈切除術嗎？"(答案是：答案是："實際上你已經問了不只兩次了，是的，他們只是做了冠狀切除術"）。

Those weren’t my only questions, though. About five minutes into that hour, I apparently asked my girlfriend for two 2-digit numbers to multiply, to check how cognitively impaired I was. She gave me 27*69, and said that I had no trouble doing the multiplication in the obvious way (27*7*10 – 27), except that I kept having to ask her to remind me what the numbers were.
不過，我的問題還不只這些。大約 5 分鐘後，我顯然向女友要了兩個兩位數的乘法運算，以檢驗我的認知障礙程度。她給了我 27*69，並說我用顯而易見的方法來做乘法運算（27*7*10 - 27）並不困難，只是我一直要她提醒我這些數字是什麼。

Interestingly, I asked her for two 2-digit numbers again toward the end of that hour, having no memory that I had already done this. She told me that she had already given me two numbers, and asked whether I wanted the same numbers again. I said yes (so I could compare my performance). The second time, I was able to do the multiplication pretty quickly without needing to ask for the numbers to be repeated.
有趣的是，在那個小時快結束時，我又向她要了兩個兩位數的數字，但我完全不記得我已經這樣做了。她告訴我，她已經給了我兩個數字，並問我是否還要同樣的數字。我答應了（這樣我就可以比較自己的表現了）。第二次，我很快就做完了乘法運算，不需要要求重複數字。

Also, about 20 minutes into the hour, I asked my girlfriend to give me the letters to that day’s New York Times Spelling Bee, which is a puzzle where you’re given seven letters and try to form words using the letters. (The letters were W, A, M, O, R, T, and Y.) I found the pangram — the word that uses every letter at least once^[2] — in about 30 seconds, which is about average for me, except that yesterday I was holding the letters in my head instead of looking at them on a screen. I also got most of the way to the “genius” rank — a little better than I normally do — and my girlfriend got us the rest of the way there.
此外，大約在一小時後的 20 分鐘，我讓我的女朋友給我當天《紐約時報》拼寫大賽的字母，這是一個給你七個字母並嘗試用這些字母組成單字的謎題。 (字母是W、A、M、O、R、T 和Y。）我在大約30 秒內找到了泛音單字--每個字母都至少使用一次的單字 ^[2] ，這對我來說差不多是平均水平，只不過昨天我是在腦子裡記字母，而不是看著螢幕上的字母。我還獲得了 "天才 "級別的大部分分數--比我平時的成績好一點--我的女朋友幫我們獲得了剩下的分數。

A couple hours later, when I was home, I could remember two of the Spelling Bee letters — W and O.^[3] I asked my girlfriend to give me the letters again, and this time it took me longer to get the pangram: about two minutes.
幾個小時後，當我回到家時，我記住了兩個拼字比賽的字母--W 和 O。 ^[3] ，我請我的女朋友再給我一次字母，這次我花了更長的時間：大約兩分鐘。

Overall, this suggests that I was not cognitively impaired at all during that hour (except of course for the my memory). I find this really interesting, because I would have expected that whatever mechanism knocked me out and severely impaired my memory would also give me like a 50-point IQ drop. But apparently not!
整體而言，這顯示我在那一小時內的認知能力完全沒有受損（當然，記憶力除外）。我覺得這真的很有趣，因為我以為不管是什麼機制讓我昏迷並嚴重損害了我的記憶力，都會讓我的智商下降 50 分。但顯然不是！

The surgery went pretty well, but there was a strangely-textured fluid by my bottom-right wisdom tooth. If it turns out to be a scary sort of fluid^[4] (I’ll find out on Tuesday), then I may need a second operation. On the one hand, that would suck. But on the other hand, now that I have a better sense of my post-operative condition, I can plan some more experiments!
手術進行得還算順利，但我右下方的智齒旁有一種質地奇怪的液體。如果它被證明是一種可怕的積液 ^[4] （我星期二就會知道），那麼我可能需要進行第二次手術。一方面，那會很糟糕。但另一方面，現在我對自己的術後狀況有了更好的了解，我可以規劃更多的實驗了！

My friend Drake suggested an experiment that I’d be really excited to try: my girlfriend (or whoever’s with me) could repeatedly ask me to generate a random number between 1 and 100. Yesterday showed that I’m pretty deterministic; but am I so deterministic that I would say the same number every time I was asked? My guess is no, but also that I wouldn’t be great at generating random numbers. It turns out that if you ask ChatGPT for a number between 1 and 100, it’ll say 42 10% of the time, 47 and 57 about 7% of the time, and some numbers (like 30, or anything below 15) pretty much never. Would I be better or worse than ChatGPT at producing uniformly random numbers? Who knows!
我的朋友德雷克（Drake）建議我做一個實驗，我很想試試：我的女朋友（或和我在一起的人）可以反覆讓我隨機產生一個 1 到 100 之間的數字。昨天的實驗表明，我的確定性很強；但我的確定性強到每次問我都會說出相同的數字嗎？我的猜測是否定的，但我也不擅長產生隨機數。事實證明，如果你問ChatGPT 一個1 到100 之間的數字，10% 的情況下它會說42，大約7% 的情況下會說47 和57，而有些數字（例如30 或低於15 的數字）則幾乎不會說。在產生均勻隨機數方面，我比 ChatGPT 更強還是更弱？誰知道呢！

I could also be repeatedly asked a question that I don’t have a cached answer to (like “What’s your favorite geological formation?”) and see if I produce the same answer every time.
我也可以反覆被問到一個我沒有緩存答案的問題（例如 "你最喜歡的地質構造是什麼？"），看看我是否每次都能給出相同的答案。

More ambitiously, I could be given a streaming problem to solve. Streaming algorithms are algorithms for computers that have extremely limited memory. For example, in the count-distinct problem, you’re given a long list of numbers and are asked to count the number of distinct entries in the list. If you can remember every number that has appeared so far in the list, then this problem is easy. If you can’t remember the numbers, then you can’t reliably count the exact number of distinct entries, but there are clever schemes for getting close to the right answer! I think this is cool because it lets you overcome a deficiency (lack of memory) with cleverness. I don’t know how fun it would be to try this particular problem, but there’s probably some streaming algorithm that would be fun to implement!
更雄心勃勃的是，我可能要解決一個串流問題。流式演算法是針對記憶體極為有限的計算機的演算法。例如，在數獨問題中，你會得到一長串數字，要求你數出清單中不同條目的數量。如果你能記住清單中迄今為止出現過的每個數字，那麼這個問題就很容易解決。如果你記不住這些數字，那麼你就無法準確計算出不同條目的數目，但有一些巧妙的方法可以讓你接近正確答案！我認為這很酷，因為它能讓你用聰明克服缺陷（記憶力不足）。我不知道嘗試這個特定問題會有多有趣，但可能會有一些串流演算法，實現起來會很有趣！

Drake (who suggested the random number experiment) also told me about a truly wild experiment that he conducted while getting his wisdom teeth removed:
德雷克（建議做隨機數實驗的人）也告訴我，他在拔智齒時做了一個非常瘋狂的實驗：

Several years ago, I was thinking about worthwhile precautions to take against strange scenarios and wanted a way to defend against erasure of my short-term memory, e.g. by the CIA or alien abductions. I’d heard the factoid that every time you think through a memory you end up overwriting it, which suggested a loophole: build up a long-term memory ahead of time, with a designated piece of the memory to fill in as necessary. Then, when you want to send a message through the barrier of your future amnesia, you think through the old memory with your target message inserted, thereby writing directly into your brain’s long-term storage and bypassing the cache that would otherwise get erased. I kept up a habit of occasionally thinking through a false ‘memory’ of coming downstairs on Christmas morning and opening up a large present, but ending the scene before I saw what was in the box.
幾年前，我一直在思考值得採取的預防措施，以應對奇怪的情況，並希望有一種方法來防止我的短期記憶被清除，例如被中央情報局或外星人綁架。我聽說過這樣一個事實：每當你思考一段記憶，最終都會覆蓋它，這就提出了一個漏洞：提前建立一段長期記憶，並在必要時填充指定的記憶片段。然後，當你想透過未來失憶的障礙發送訊息時，你可以透過舊的記憶思考，並插入你的目標訊息，這樣就可以直接寫入大腦的長期儲存中，繞過否則會被刪除的快取。我有個習慣，偶爾會想出一段假的 "記憶"：聖誕節早上，我下樓打開一個大禮物，但還沒看清盒子裡裝的是什麼就結束了。

I had the opportunity to try this out while getting my wisdom teeth removed, when I was put under the influence of a relaxation and memory-inhibiting drug. When I left the operating room, I consulted my memory and found that the box contained a Martian landscape with a drill boring into the bottom right corner. Judging by the other bits of context that felt associated with the scene, I think my drug-addled brain was trying to use the Martian landscape as a metaphor for lacking proprioception in my mouth and being uncertain of its internal topology, while the drill was a metaphor for a drill. I don’t remember anything else between 30 seconds after they put the IV in to when I walked out of the operating room.
我在拔智齒時有機會嘗試了一下，當時我被注射了一種放鬆和抑制記憶的藥物。當我離開手術室時，我查閱了自己的記憶，發現盒子裡裝的是一幅火星風景畫，右下角有一個鑽孔。根據與這一場景相關聯的其他情境判斷，我認為我被藥物迷惑的大腦試圖用火星景象來比喻我的口腔缺乏本體感覺，不確定其內部拓撲結構，而鑽頭則是對鑽頭的比喻。從他們輸液後的 30 秒到我走出手術室，我什麼都不記得了。

But Drake notes: 但德雷克指出

While I’m confident that the memory really was a result of thoughts I had under the influence of amnesiac drugs, I’m only around 50% sure that this strategy worked via the intended mechanism, and it’s plausible that I just thought about this scene hard enough during the surgery to overcome the effects of the drug (and anyone focusing on a particular image for a couple minutes with the intent of remembering it in that scenario would have succeeded).
雖然我確信這段記憶真的是我在失憶藥物的影響下思考的結果，但我只有50%左右的把握這一策略是透過預期的機制起作用的，而且我有可能只是在手術過程中足夠努力地思考這個場景，從而克服了藥物的影響（在這種情況下，任何人專注於某一特定圖像幾分鐘，意圖記住它，都會成功）。

To test whether Drake’s circumvention of his short-term memory loss worked via the intended mechanism, I could ask my girlfriend in advance to prompt me once — and only once — to complete the long-term memory scene that I had been practicing. Then I could see if I have a memory of the scene after I fully regain my memory.
為了測試德雷克規避短期失憶的方法是否通過預期的機制起作用，我可以提前讓我的女朋友提示我完成一次--而且只有一次--我一直在練習的長期記憶場景。然後，我就可以在完全恢復記憶後看看自己是否還記得這個場景。

I would love to hear suggestions for other things I could try. If you have any, let me know in a comment!
我很想聽聽大家對其他嘗試的建議。如果您有任何建議，請在評論中告訴我！

1. ^{^}

   Of course, my actions are fully determined by my entire brain state. But it seems plausible that low-level effects that change unpredictably (like which particular neurons happen to be firing) would affect my words and actions, and also plausible that these low-level changes wouldn’t affect my words and actions.
   當然，我的行為完全由我的整個大腦狀態決定。但是，不可預測的低層次影響（例如哪個特定的神經元恰好在點火）會影響我的言行，這似乎是有道理的，而這些低層次的變化不會影響我的言行，這也是有道理的。

2. ^{^}

   The pangram was MOTORWAY. (This was in fact the only pangram.)
   盤格是 MOTORWAY。 (這實際上是唯一的一個盤符）。

3. ^{^}

   My theory is that we had been playing Spelling Bee for enough time that the letters somewhat made it into my long-term memory.
   我的理論是，我們玩 "拼字比賽 "的時間已經夠長了，這些字母已經在我的長期記憶中留下了痕跡。

4. ^{^}

   The surgeon said he was “100% sure” it wasn’t cancer. But it could be a benign tumor that would need to be dealt with anyway.
   外科醫生說他 "100%肯定 "這不是癌症。但也有可能是良性腫瘤，無論如何都需要處理。