Chapter Text 正文
Gahyeon stayed with Seonghwa until the purple sunset faded to black. Clouds hid the stars and the endless darkness of the walled garden felt poetic to the betrayal that ached in Seonghwa’s chest.
嘉妍陪着成华直到紫霞褪尽，暮色四合。云层遮蔽了星辰，高墙花园里无尽的黑暗与成华胸中翻涌的背叛之痛，竟有种诗意的契合。
“We should go to bed,” Gahyeon broke the oppressive silence. “It’s unseemly to be out so late.”
我们该去睡了，"嘉妍打破令人窒息的沉默，"这么晚还在外面不成体统。
“Unseemly,” Seonghwa repeated with bitter irony. “It’s unseemly to abandon your husband after you promised not to.”
不成体统，"成华带着苦涩的讽刺重复道，"违背誓言抛弃丈夫才叫不成体统。
“I’m sure he had a reason.” Gahyeon pushed herself to her feet and brushed dirt from the flowerbed off her skirt. “I’m sure it will all make sense in the morning.”
我相信他一定有苦衷。"Gahyeon 撑着膝盖站起身，拍掉裙摆沾上的花坛泥土。"等天亮一切就会明朗的。
Seonghwa scoffed, hurt and upset and wanting to wallow.
Seonghwa 嗤之以鼻，满心委屈只想自暴自弃。
“Princess Gahyeon?” An unfamiliar voice called from the entrance to the garden. “It’s late, your Highness. Allow me to escort you back to your quarters.” A man who carried himself as if he had a stick up his ass and spoke with a forced upittyness that sounded about as genuine as Wooyoung’s superstitious “magic power crystals,” strutted toward them with a flourishing bow.
"Gahyeon 公主？"花园入口传来陌生的呼唤。"夜深了，殿下。请允许我护送您回寝宫。"只见来人端着副趾高气扬的做派，拿腔拿调的口气活像 Wooyoung 那些装神弄鬼的"魔力水晶"般矫揉造作，边行浮夸的鞠躬礼边朝他们走来。
“Just a moment, Han.” She waved a hand at him. “Seonghwa, you’re not doing yourself any favors just moping around.”
稍等，Han。"她朝那人摆了摆手。"Seonghwa，你这样自怨自艾根本无济于事。
Seonghwa scoffed again, refusing to full-out cry for a pirate. “I’m not moping.” He stood and brushed himself off. “I’ll escort the princess to her room,” he told Han.
成华再次嗤之以鼻，拒绝为一个海盗彻底崩溃痛哭。"我没在闹情绪。"他站起身掸了掸衣服。"我送公主回房，"他对韩说道。
Han straightened even further - if that was possible - and offered Seonghwa a tight smile in the flickering torchlight. “I’m afraid I must insist.”
韩的腰板挺得更直了——如果还能更直的话——在摇曳的火把光中冲成华挤出一个僵硬的笑容。"恐怕我必须坚持陪同。"
Something changed in the air and Seonghwa wished for a weapon. The hair at the back of his neck stood up. This felt wrong. “Where is Maddox?” he asked. “Have you seen him?”
空气突然变得异样，成华渴望手中有件武器。他后颈的汗毛都竖了起来。这感觉不对劲。"马多克斯在哪？"他问道，"你见过他吗？"
“No, I’m afraid I haven’t,” Han said brightly. “Haven’t seen your Pirate King around for a few hours either. Rumor has it he left.”
没有，恐怕没见过，"韩欢快地说，"你的海盗王也有几个小时不见踪影了。传闻说他离开了。
Seonghwa scanned his surroundings for something to use as a weapon while shifting himself between Han and Gahyeon. “He is gone.”
成华一边在韩和嘉贤之间移动，一边扫视四周寻找可用作武器的东西。"他已经不在了。"
Han’s smile turned to poison in the torchlight. “Lucky you, then.” He dropped the forced elite tone of voice and drew the sword at his hip. “I’ll protect you both.”
韩的笑容在火把光线下变得阴毒。"那你可真走运。"他丢掉了刻意伪装的精英腔调，抽出腰间的佩剑。"我会保护你们俩的。"
Seonghwa pushed Gahyeon away. “Let her go, it’s me you want.”
成华将嘉贤推开。"放她走，你们要的是我。"
Han shrugged. “Why not both?”
韩耸了耸肩。"两个都要不行吗？"
“Run,” Seonghwa pushed Gahyeon again and she ran out of the garden. Seonghwa ducked to avoid the sword that swung at him. “I’m more valuable to you alive,” He reminded Han. “Take care with your blade.”
“快跑，”成华再次推了嘉贤一把，她冲出了花园。成华俯身躲过朝他劈来的剑锋。“我对你们来说活着的价值更大，”他提醒韩道，“小心你的刀。”
Han backed him against a pillar covered with ivy. “Alive,” he agreed. “But nobody said nothing about unharmed.”
韩将他逼退到爬满常春藤的石柱前。“活着，”他冷笑道，“但可没人说过要毫发无伤。”
Steel rang against the stone where Seonghwa’s arm had been a moment before.
钢铁与石柱相击的铮鸣回荡在成华方才手臂所在的位置。
“And I reckon you’d be more docile if I roughed you up a bit.” Han’s smile told Seonghwa this was the most fun he’d had in weeks. Seonghwa wished for San or Yunho. Or even a sword. A sword would be nice.
"我觉得要是把你收拾一顿，你大概会老实点。"韩的笑容让成华明白，这是他这几周来最乐在其中的时刻。成华多希望此刻有伞或者允浩在身边。哪怕有把剑也好——有剑就太棒了。
He spun away from the pillar and picked up a fallen tree branch about the width of a spear, but shorter and bent at one end. It worked well enough to block the sweeping blows of Han’s sword, until Han cracked it in half with a high laugh.
他猛地从柱子旁旋身闪开，随手抄起地上那根形似短矛的弯曲树枝。树枝堪堪格挡住韩横扫而来的剑锋，却在对方一声高亢的狞笑中应声而断。
The bustle of guards and Gahyeon’s voice distracted Han enough for Seonghwa to hit him over the head with his stick and rush toward the two guards. “A sword,” he commanded. “Give me a sword.” If Yunho taught him anything, it was how little a soldier could do against a sailor. These newly trained guards wouldn’t stand a chance against a pirate swordsmen.
侍卫们的喧闹声和 Gahyeon 的喊叫让韩分神之际，星华趁机用木棍击中他的头部，随即冲向两名守卫。"剑，"他命令道，"给我一把剑。"如果润浩教会了他什么，那就是士兵在水手面前有多么不堪一击。这些新训练的守卫根本敌不过海盗剑客。
But they stepped in front of Seonghwa anyway, and Gahyeon screamed when Han gutted the first with a long slice from his gut to his sternum. He collapsed onto his knees, dark blood spilling over the flowers, shiny in the flickering torches.
但他们依然挡在星华面前。当韩的利刃从第一个守卫的腹部直划到胸骨时，Gahyeon 发出尖叫。守卫跪倒在地，暗红的鲜血浸染了花丛，在摇曳的火把下泛着诡异的光泽。
Seonghwa looked away, sick at his stomach.
星华别过脸去，胃里一阵翻腾。
Before the other guard could react, Han’s sword plunged through his chest. Han sighed and twisted the blade as the young guard cried his agony. Han shot a look at Seonghwa. “I’ve been missing all the fun.”
第二名守卫还未及反应，韩的剑已刺穿他的胸膛。听着年轻守卫痛苦的哀嚎，韩叹息着转动剑刃。他朝星华投去一瞥："我可错过了不少乐子。"
A prince did not run away and leave his sister vulnerable. No matter how much every fiber of his body wanted to run.
王子不会抛下妹妹独自逃命，即便他全身的每个细胞都在叫嚣着逃离。
Seonghwa bent and picked up the first guard’s dropped sword. He stood a better chance than these young men, especially because Han would underestimate him. By the time he stood up, Han had his sword outstretched, an extension of his arm, pointed at Seonghwa’s chest.
成华弯腰拾起第一名侍卫掉落的佩剑。他比这些年轻人更有胜算，尤其因为韩会轻敌。待他直起身时，韩已长剑出鞘，剑锋如臂延伸，直指成华心口。
Seonghwa swallowed thickly. “Gahyeon, get out of here.” She didn’t move from her hiding place behind one of the ivy-covered pillars.
成厚艰难地咽了咽口水。"佳贤，快离开这里。"她仍躲在常春藤覆盖的石柱后纹丝不动。
The first crash of steel sent a spark in the darkness of the garden. The next two did the same, but Han kept his distance, testing Seonghwa’s reflexes, feeling out his ability. Seonghwa didn’t want him to know how good he’d become, so he rushed in, a flurry of glinting steel.
第一记金属碰撞在花园的黑暗中迸出火花。随后两击亦是如此，但韩保持距离试探着成厚的反应，揣度他的实力。成厚不愿让对方知晓自己进步多大，于是猛然突进，刀光剑影间寒芒闪烁。
Hongjoong told him Yunho was the best swordsman on the sea, and Seonghwa understood now. He’d become accustomed to Yunho’s finesse and efficiency. Yunho didn’t waste movement. Yunho moved fast and hit hard.
洪钟曾告诉他，允浩是海上最厉害的剑客，而现在星华终于明白了。他已经习惯了允浩那精准利落的剑法。允浩从不做多余的动作，出手快如闪电，力道狠辣致命。
Han fought in the flashy way stage players portrayed pirates. Swashbuckling, dramatic, and nearly a dance. But it threw Seonghwa off enough that Han forced him back into a flower bed. The soft dirt sank beneath his feet and made dexterity difficult. A tree behind him snagged his jacket in the branches. And Seonghwa just wished for Hongjoong to come save him.
韩的打斗方式就像舞台剧里描绘的海盗那样花哨——虚张声势、戏剧性十足，简直像在跳舞。但这足以让星和乱了阵脚，被逼退到花坛里。松软的泥土在他脚下塌陷，使灵活动作变得困难。身后的树枝勾住了他的夹克。星和只希望洪钟能来救他。
But Seonghwa didn’t need someone to save him. He could save himself. If Hongjoong left him, he could defend himself and show the stupid Pirate King that he didn’t need him.
但星和不需要别人来救。他能自救。如果洪钟离开他，他可以保护自己，向那个愚蠢的海盗王证明自己不需要他。
He took the offensive, using a combination of lightning-quick movements Yunho taught him.
他转守为攻，运用了允浩教他的那套疾风骤雨般的组合动作。
Han fell to his knees, disarmed, and Seonghwa pushed him down with a foot on his chest and his blade at the hollow of his throat.
韩被缴械跪倒在地，星和一脚踩在他胸口，刀刃抵住他咽喉凹陷处将他压制。
Han swallowed a few times, looking up at Seonghwa and waiting while Seonghwa’s breathing calmed. A dark smile grew on his face, terrible in the uneven torchlight. “You can’t kill me, can you princeling?” he taunted. “You won’t do it.”
韩咽了几口唾沫，抬头望着成华，等待着他的呼吸平复下来。摇曳的火光中，他脸上浮现出一抹阴森的笑容，显得格外可怖。"你杀不了我的，对吧，小王子？"他挑衅道，"你下不了手的。"
And Seonghwa felt frozen. Because he couldn’t take a life. He couldn’t. But it would be the right choice. If he let Han live, Han would run back to Bang Chan and tell him Hongjoong left and Seonghwa was vulnerable. He would come back with reinforcements, a gun instead of a sword, a plan. If Seonghwa didn’t kill him, he might hurt Gahyeon or one of the others.
成华僵在原地。他无法夺取一条生命。他做不到。但这才是正确的选择——若放韩活着离开，对方定会跑回方灿身边告密，说洪俊已经离开而自己孤立无援。届时那人会带着增援杀回来，枪械取代刀剑，周密计划取代临时起意。若不在此了结他，嘉妍和其他同伴都可能遭殃。
Han’s laugh struck a fire in Seonghwa’s chest. He couldn’t kill him. However easy it would be to push the blade of his sword through the soft flesh of Han’s throat. He couldn’t silence the mocking laughter.
韩的笑声在星华胸口点燃了一把火。他杀不了他。尽管将剑刃刺入韩柔软的喉管是那样轻而易举。他无法让那嘲弄的笑声停下。
“Make up your mind. Are you a pirate or are you a prince?” Han goaded.
“做个决定吧。你是海盗还是王子？”韩挑衅道。
Something snapped in Seonghwa’s psyche. He withdrew the sword from Han’s neck and pushed it as hard as he could into his leg. Han screamed in pain and surprise. Seonghwa bent to put his full weight on the blade sinking through muscle and bone above Han’s knee. Hongjoong shot the one from the market in the kneecap. This one couldn’t do as much damage crippled. And it would send his message loud and clear.
成华的心理防线突然崩塌。他将剑从韩的脖子上移开，用尽全力刺入对方的大腿。韩因剧痛和震惊发出惨叫。成华俯身将全身重量压在剑上，让刀刃穿透韩膝盖上方的肌肉与骨骼。洪正曾在集市上射穿某人的膝盖骨。这次虽不能造成同等伤害，但足以响亮清晰地传达他的讯息。
Han screamed again. The bone cracked with a sickening pop that turned Seonghwa’s stomach.
韩再次惨叫起来。骨头断裂时发出令人作呕的"咔嚓"声，听得成华胃里一阵翻涌。
“I’m the prince who married a pirate,” he gritted out through his teeth. He could feel the sword sink into the soft earth beneath Han’s leg. “And that’s enough.” He kept pushing the sword deeper until the hilt met the warm, sticky blood running over the leg.
"我可是娶了海盗的王子，"他咬牙切齿地说道。他能感觉到剑刃深深刺入韩腿下松软的泥土。"这就够了。"他继续将剑往下压，直到剑柄抵住那条腿上汩汩涌出的温热黏稠鲜血。
He stood and did not look at the way the dirt shone wet around Han, or the bodies of the guards crumpled on the ground, crushing the flowers.
他站起身，没有去看韩周围泥土湿润的反光，也没有看那些卫兵瘫倒在地的尸体压碎了花朵。
“Gahyeon,” he called. “Go find mother. Tell her what happened.”
佳贤，"他唤道。"去找母亲。告诉她发生的事。
Gahyeon looked haunted in the flickering golden light. “Where are you going?”
摇曳的金色火光中，佳贤的眼神如同惊魂未定。"你要去哪儿？"
“To get my sword.” Maybe Hongjoong knew what he was doing. Maybe he left knowing that Seonghwa could defend himself. Maybe he had gone to take out Bang Chan himself. At any rate, Seonghwa wouldn’t cower. A prince lifted his chin and stood his ground. A prince didn’t weep when his husband left.
"去取我的剑。"或许洪俊知道自己在做什么。或许他离开时确信星华能保护自己。或许他亲自去解决方灿了。无论如何，星华不会畏缩。王子昂首挺胸，坚守阵地。王子不会在丈夫离开时哭泣。
Gahyeon picked up a bloody sword from the ground. "Take this one.” She followed Seonghwa into the light of the torch and froze. “Hwa, you’re bleeding.”
佳贤从地上捡起一把染血的剑。"用这个。"她跟着星和走进火把的光圈里，突然僵住了。"和，你在流血。"
“No, I’m not.” He could feel cooling blood soaked through the knees of his pants and smeared on his hands and shirt. He hated it.
"没有的事。"他能感觉到冰凉的血液浸透了裤子的膝盖部位，还沾满了双手和衬衫。他讨厌这种感觉。
“Yes, you are.” She touched a tear in his sleeve and pulled her fingers back bloody. “You’re hurt.”
你明明受伤了。"她碰了碰他袖子上的裂口，抽回的手指沾着血迹。"你受伤了。
And suddenly, because he saw the cut, it did hurt. He hissed through his teeth and looked around the dark garden. “We need to send someone out here to clean up.”
突然间，因为看到了伤口，疼痛感真的出现了。他倒抽一口冷气，环顾黑暗的花园。"得派人来清理这里。"
“You need the physician,” Gahyeon argued.
"你得看医生，"嘉妍坚持道。
“No.” Seonghwa pulled her back inside the palace. “It’s fine. It’s not that deep.” It did feel deep. It ached in a way that made his muscles feel weak. But altering anyone else of the threat seemed dangerous if Bang Chan’s crew had infiltrated the palace so completely. And Seonghwa didn’t feel inclined to trust anyone at the moment.
“不行。”星和把她拉回宫殿内。“没事的，伤口不深。”其实伤口感觉很深。那种疼痛让他的肌肉都感到无力。但如果方灿的人已经彻底渗透了宫殿，向其他人透露威胁似乎很危险。而且星和此刻不想信任任何人。
Gahyeon tugged his other hand. “At least come with me to see mother,” she pleaded. “I’m afraid, Hwa, I don’t want to go alone.”
嘉妍拽着他的另一只手。“至少陪我去见母亲吧，”她恳求道。“我害怕，和啊，我不想一个人去。”
So Seonghwa went with her through the quiet halls of the darkened palace.
于是星和陪她穿过漆黑宫殿里寂静的走廊。
“Will she be with father?” he wondered when they neared their parent’s suite.
“她会和父亲在一起吗？”当他们接近父母的套房时，他暗自思忖。
Gahyeon pressed her lips together tightly. “No.”
Gahyeon 紧紧抿住嘴唇。"不行。"
Seonghwa knew better than to question her. Because if he asked a question, she’d give him an answer he didn’t want to hear.
Seonghwa 深知不该追问。因为一旦发问，得到的只会是更刺耳的答案。
Sure enough, a light glimmered under the door of their mother’s private room. Gahyeon knocked lightly but didn’t wait for a response before dragging Seonghwa through the door and closing it behind them.
果然，母亲私人房间的门缝下透出微光。Gahyeon 轻叩门板，未等回应便拽着 Seonghwa 闯了进去，反手带上了门。
The queen sat upright in her bed and set her book aside when she recognized her children. “What’s wrong? What’s happened?” She stood and turned the lamp brighter.
女王在床榻上直起身来，认出是孩子们后便将书搁在一旁。"出什么事了？发生什么了？"她起身将灯芯挑亮。
Seonghwa set the sword on the writing-table by the door and covered the cut on his arm. “Mama…” But he couldn’t finish. Mama, my husband left me without saying goodbye. Mama, I watched two good soldiers die to protect me. Mama, I almost a killed a man. Mama, I trusted a pirate and he broke my heart.
成华将剑搁在门边的书案上，随手掩住臂上伤口。"娘亲..."话到唇边却哽住喉头。他想说夫君不告而别，想说两名忠勇亲兵为护他血溅三尺，想说自己也险些手刃人命，更想说那个海盗如何骗走他满腔真心——字字句句都化作齿间铁锈味，随着呼吸在胸腔里隐隐作痛。
“Let me see.” She rushed to his side and pried his hand away from the cut on his arm. “Oh, Seonghwa.” She pulled him to her washbasin and dabbed cold water over the cut. It hurt.
"让我看看。"她急忙冲到他身边，掰开他捂着伤口的手。"啊，成华。"她拽着他来到水盆前，用冷水轻轻擦拭那道伤口。疼得他直皱眉。
Gahyeon explained what happened in the garden and the queen nodded seriously, unsurprised.
Gahyeon 解释了花园里发生的事，女王严肃地点点头，并不感到意外。
“I’ll send someone I trust out to collect the bodies.” She tore a strip of bandage and wrapped it around Seonghwa’s arm. It hurt.
"我会派个信得过的人去收尸。"她撕下一截绷带，缠在 Seonghwa 的手臂上。很疼。
“Who is left to trust?” he wondered bitterly.
"现在还能信任谁呢？"他苦涩地想。
She regarded him with cool shrewdness. “You still haven’t heard anything about Maddox?”
她以冷静精明的目光注视着他。"你还是没听到任何关于 Maddox 的消息吗？"
“No. Have you?” He swung his bandaged arm to try to loosen it up and keep it from getting too sore.
“没有。你呢？”他甩了甩缠着绷带的手臂，试图放松肌肉避免过度酸痛。
She shook her head. “I fear the worst.” That didn’t bode well and settled as uncomfortable nausea in Seonghwa’s stomach. “My spies have identified a few of the infiltrators,” she continued. “I relayed that information to your husband as soon as I received it.”
她摇了摇头。“我担心最坏的情况。”这不祥的预感让成华胃里泛起不适的恶心感。“我的密探已经确认了几名渗透者的身份，”她继续道，“我一收到消息就立即转告了你丈夫。”
“My husband is gone.” Seonghwa’s tone sounded flat and expressionless, but his arm throbbed and the edge of a headache increased his nausea.
"我丈夫走了。"成华的语气平淡得毫无波澜，可手臂突突跳动的血管和逐渐加剧的偏头痛让他胃里翻涌起恶心。
The queen looked surprised. “Oh. I didn’t realize-” She frowned at his injured arm. “That would explain…” She trailed off and took Gahyeon’s arm to lead her to a chair. “Sit down, child, you’re white as a sheet.” She poured a cup of wine from a pitcher beside her bed and wrapped Gahyeon’s hands around it. “Drink. You’ll need your strength.”
女王露出惊讶的神色。"噢，我没想到——"她皱眉看着他受伤的手臂，"这就说得通了..."她的话戛然而止，拉着 Gahyeon 的手引向座椅。"坐下吧孩子，你脸色白得像纸一样。"她从床边的酒壶倒了一杯酒，将杯子塞进 Gahyeon 颤抖的手中。"喝点酒，你需要保持体力。"
Seonghwa sat in the small chair next to her. “Mama, I don’t know how I’m going to fight off all these pirates.”
Seonghwa 在她身旁的小椅子上坐下。"母亲，我不知道该如何击退这些海盗。"
She paused midway through pouring him a cup of wine. “Why on earth would you have to fight?”
她倒酒的动作突然停顿。"你究竟为何要亲自上阵？"
Seonghwa tossed his hand, agitated. “Because I’m the only one in this palace who knows how to fight a sailor.”
Seonghwa 烦躁地甩了甩手。"因为整个王宫里只有我懂得水手们的作战方式。"
“There are plenty of good swordsmen here, Hwa,” Gahyeon pointed out bluntly. “You’re not the only one.”
“华啊，这儿的好剑客多的是，”嘉贤直截了当地指出，“你又不是唯一一个。”
“Yunho is the best swordsman on the seas and he trained me.” Seonghwa squinted at the sword balanced on the writing desk and wondered how this night might have ended differently if Hongjoong hadn’t apologized for making light of Seonghwa’s hard-earned sword fighting skills. How far he might be on Bang Chan’s ship by now if Hongjoong hadn’t told Yunho to train him. But Seonghwa didn’t want to give him any credit for saving his life. “Pirates don’t follow rules. It’s a different kind of fighting. “
“云浩是海上最厉害的剑客，是他训练的我。”星和眯眼打量着书桌上横放的长剑，心想如果洪钟没有为轻视他苦练的剑术而道歉，今晚的结局会如何不同。如果洪钟没让云浩训练他，此刻他可能早已登上邦灿的船走了多远。但星和不愿把救命之恩算在洪钟头上。“海盗不守规矩，那是另一种战斗方式。”
“Hush, my son.” His mother handed him the cup of wine and picked up a hairbrush from her vanity. “You don’t need to fight anyone.” She smoothed his hair with deft fingers and began to brush it. “You’re safe here, Hwa.”
“嘘，我的孩子。”母亲递给他酒杯，从梳妆台拿起发梳。“你不需要和任何人争斗。”她灵巧的手指抚平他的发丝，开始梳理。“在这里你很安全，华儿。”
He tilted his head back and allowed himself to be mothered. To be doted upon. To be cared for. “I’d begun to think the safest place for me was at Hongjoong’s side,” he admitted.
他仰起头，任由母亲宠溺。享受这份呵护与关怀。“我原本以为最安全的地方是洪钟身边，”他轻声承认道。
“It is,” she hummed, working the brush gently through a knot. “He’ll always protect you. He told me so.”
"是啊，"她轻声哼着，用梳子温柔地梳理着打结的发丝。"他会永远保护你的。他亲口对我这么说过。"
The hairbrush’s coarse bristles against his scalp soothed him and his mother’s soft voice centered him, but his feelings still felt jagged around the edges. “Then why did he leave?”
粗糙的发刷划过头皮带来安抚，母亲温柔的嗓音让他平静下来，但那些情绪仍如锯齿般啃噬着他的心。"那他为什么要离开？"
She sighed and moved to stand behind Gahyeon and unpin her hair. “Sometimes it can be difficult to see the bigger picture when you focus on the details.”
王后轻叹一声，站到嘉妍身后为她拆开发髻。"有时候太过关注细节，反而会看不清全局。"
Gahyeon helped with the pins and stretched like a contented cat when the queen began to brush her hair. “I’ve told him to stop moping, mama.”
嘉妍帮忙取下发簪，当王后开始为她梳头时，她像只餍足的猫儿般舒展身体。"我告诉过他别再消沉了，母后。"
The queen hummed to herself. “You’re allowed to feel your emotions, my son. If it hurts, let it hurt, but don’t torture yourself by dwelling on it.”
王后轻声哼着歌。"你有权感受自己的情绪，我的孩子。如果会痛，就让它痛，但别用反复咀嚼来折磨自己。"
Seonghwa frowned. “What am I supposed to dwell on?”
成华皱起眉头。“我该纠结什么？”
“You told me in your letter that he is kind to you. That he is fond of you.” She smiled the sort of gentle smile only a mother can wear. “Dwell on pleasant things, dear. There’s no need to make yourself miserable.”
“你在信里说过，他对你很好，他很喜欢你。”她露出只有母亲才会有的温柔微笑。“多想想开心的事，亲爱的，别让自己难受。”
But it hurt just as badly to think of the ways Hongjoong showed him kindness. The sweet words, the careful touches, the security of his arms. The ways he said he was fond of Seonghwa. Silly things. Trivial things. Things that didn’t matter.
但想到洪俊对他展现的温柔也同样令人心痛。那些甜言蜜语，小心翼翼的触碰，他臂弯里的安全感。那些说着喜欢星华的方式。愚蠢的小事。微不足道的小事。根本无关紧要的事。
Seonghwa stood up. “I’m going to retire.”
成华站起身来。“我要去休息了。”
The queen nodded. “Be careful, Seonghwa.”
女王点点头。“小心点，成华。”
As if he would be anything else.
他怎么可能不小心。
When Seonghwa neared his bedroom, he heard the unmistakable grunts and thumps of a fight. He opened the door slowly, but a body on the floor stopped him from opening it all the way.
当成华接近卧室时，他听到了明显的打斗声和撞击声。他缓缓推开门，但地上一具躯体阻碍了门完全打开。
In the middle of the room, a servant Seonghwa didn’t recognize rolled over the bed to escape someone. Seonghwa waited for the other fighter to enter the sliver of the room visible through the cracked door.
房间中央，一个成华不认识的侍从在床上翻滚着想要躲避某人。成华透过门缝注视着屋内，等待着另一个打手踏入这方狭小空间。
Seonghwa didn’t know who he expected, but he didn’t expect Hongjoong. With a knife. And blood smeared on his cheek and sleeves. And only one boot on.
成华没料到会是他——洪钟。
那人手里攥着刀，脸颊和袖口蹭着血，靴子还丢了一只。
He tackled the other man to the ground and held the knife to his throat. “How many of you are there?” he demanded.
他将对方扑倒在地，刀刃抵住其咽喉。"你们有多少人？"他厉声质问。
Seonghwa forced the door open to walk inside. “You didn’t leave,” he accused.
成华踹开门闯了进来。"你没走。"他指控道。
Hongjoong looked up at him. “Seonghwa?”
洪俊抬头望向他。"成华？"
That momentary distraction gave the attacker enough opening to reverse the hold and tear Hongjoong’s knife out of his hand.
这片刻的分神让袭击者抓住机会反制，从洪俊手中夺走了匕首。
Seonghwa didn’t stop to think, he picked up the overstuffed green velvet chair and hit the man over the head with it. He collapsed into a heap on the ground and the knife in his hand skidded over the floor to rest at Seonghwa’s feet.
成桦没有片刻犹豫，抄起那把鼓鼓囊囊的绿丝绒椅子就朝那人头上砸去。对方瘫软倒地，手中的匕首滑过地板，恰好停在成桦脚边。
Hongjoong pushed himself to his knees slowly, checked the pirate’s pulse, and shook his head at Seonghwa. “Give me the knife.” He gestured to the knife on the ground.
洪钟缓缓撑起身子跪坐起来，探了探海盗的脉搏后对成桦摇头。"把刀给我。"他指了指地上的匕首。
“You’re going to kill him.” Seonghwa didn’t want to watch that. He’d seen enough death today. Enough pain. He picked up the knife anyway.
"你会杀了他的。"成华不想看这一幕。今天他已经看够了死亡，受够了痛苦。但他还是拿起了那把刀。
“Yes,” Hongjoong agreed. “I swore I’d slay anyone who endangered you.” He held out his hand expectantly.
“没错，”洪俊应道。“我发过誓要斩杀任何危及你性命的人。”他伸出手，眼中带着期待。
Seonghwa’s throat stung and his eyes felt hot. His arm throbbed and he felt sick. “You also swore you wouldn’t abandon me.”
星和的喉咙发紧，眼眶发热。手臂阵阵抽痛，胃里翻涌着恶心感。“你还发过誓不会抛弃我。”
Hongjoong tilted his head and narrowed his eyes, confused. “I didn’t abandon you.”
洪俊偏头眯起眼睛，露出困惑的神色。“我没有抛弃你。”
“But I saw your ship. My father said you left. I thought…” Seonghwa trailed off, looking down at the knife in his hands.
“可我看见你的船了。父亲说你已经离开。我以为……”星和的声音逐渐低下去，低头盯着手中的匕首。
“Oh, my love.” Hongjoong stood and took the knife delicately. “My sweet prince.” He threw the knife and it landed with a sick, wet thwack in the assassin’s throat. “I’m so sorry I distressed you.” With the same hand that threw the knife, he reached up to touch Seonghwa’s face. “I tried to warn you, darling. But I couldn’t tell you. The trap wouldn’t work if you knew.”
"哦，我的爱人。"洪准优雅地站起身，指尖轻巧地接过匕首。"我亲爱的王子。"他扬手掷出利刃，刀刃刺入刺客咽喉时发出令人作呕的湿黏声响。"真抱歉让你受惊了。"那只刚结束杀戮的手转而抚上星和的脸颊，指节还沾着飞溅的血珠。"我试图警告过你的，亲爱的。但天机不可泄露——若你知晓，这局便不灵验了。"
The trap. It made sense. To draw the pirates out of hiding while they thought Seonghwa was helpless.
陷阱。这招高明。趁海盗们以为星华毫无还手之力时引蛇出洞。
Seonghwa wasn’t helpless.
成华并非束手无策。
He stepped away from Hongjoong - avoiding the slick puddle of blood beneath the body still mostly blocking the door - and held up a hand to stop him from coming closer. “It almost worked in their favor.”
他后退一步避开洪钟——躲开那具仍大半堵着门的尸体下方黏稠的血泊——抬手示意对方别再靠近。"这差点就正中他们下怀。"
“What do you mean?” Hongjoong looked confused until he noticed the bloodstains camouflaged in the dark fabric of Seonghwa’s pants and jacket. “Oh God, Seonghwa,” he sounded suddenly breathless and horrified. “Are you hurt?”
"你什么意思？"洪俊一脸困惑，直到他注意到成华深色裤子和夹克上那些与暗纹融为一体的血迹。"天啊，成华，"他的声音突然变得急促而惊恐，"你受伤了？"
A raw laugh forced its way out of Seonghwa’s throat. “You promised you wouldn’t abandon me. Multiple times. You said, “I’m not going to abandon you.” And then I saw your ship sailing away.” He laughed again and it tasted bitter in the back of his mouth. “If Yunho hadn’t taught me how to fight a pirate, I’d probably be dead.”
成华喉咙里挤出一声嘶哑的冷笑。"你明明答应过不会丢下我。不止一次。你说'我不会抛下你'。结果呢？我眼睁睁看着你的船开走。"他又笑了，舌根泛起苦涩的滋味。"要不是允浩教我打海盗的招数，我早他妈死透了。"
Hongjoong looked shell-shocked. “What happened?” His voice sounded distant, small.
洪俊一脸震惊，仿佛被雷劈中般呆立原地。"怎么回事？"他的声音飘忽而微弱，像是从很远的地方传来。
Seonghwa shook his head. “I almost killed a man.” He looked down at his trembling hands. “If a doctor doesn’t tend to him, he will die.”
成华摇了摇头。"我差点杀了一个人。"他低头看着自己颤抖的双手。"如果没有医生救治，他会死的。"
Guilt and shame crashed over him in a sudden wave. A prince is gentle and merciful. A prince is calm and collected. A prince does not display his power through violence. A prince does not inflict pain.
愧疚与羞耻如潮水般突然将他淹没。王子应当温文尔雅、仁慈宽厚。王子应当沉着冷静。王子不该以暴力彰显权力。王子不该施加痛苦。
Seonghwa sank slowly to the edge of the bed and curled in on himself. “I broke his bones,” he whispered. “I heard them crack.” The horror made him tremble. The scream of raw pain echoed in his ears. “I pushed the sword into the ground beneath him.” And watered the flowers with blood. And left him there helpless.
成华缓缓跌坐在床沿，蜷缩起身体。"我打断了他的骨头，"他低声说，"我听见了断裂声。"恐惧让他浑身发抖。那撕心裂肺的惨叫声仍在耳畔回响。"我把剑插进了他身下的土地。"用鲜血浇灌了花朵。将他无助地遗弃在那里。
“Seonghwa,” Hongjoong said softly, “You cannot be faulted for self-defense.”
成华，"洪钟轻声说道，"自卫是无罪的。
“I needed you.” Seonghwa raised his voice. “I needed you and I thought you left. My father told me-- I saw your ship sailing away. I saw it.” He stood, breathing hard, nearly yelling. “He’s going to make me take a lover, Hongjoong, I don’t want a lover. I don’t want some gold-digging noble girl.” He laughed mirthlessly, spitting his words. “I’m a fool. I want to go back to sea with you. I want you to steal pretty things for me and kiss me in front of your crew to make them jealous. I want you to look at me the way you do after you’ve won a fight - like I’m something precious and beautiful - and call me ‘darling’ and ‘love’-” He choked and realized his eyes were wet with unshed tears. He shut them tight to keep the tears from falling. “I’m such a fool,” he gritted through his teeth. “It’s all a power play to you. I'm just your newest toy, aren't I? You'll grow bored of me. I’m some bauble to put on display or brush aside when you want.”
"我需要你。"成华提高了嗓音，"我需要你，我以为你走了。父亲告诉我——我亲眼看着你的船驶离港口，我亲眼看见的。"他站起身，呼吸粗重，几乎是在吼叫。"他要逼我找个情人，洪钟，我不想要什么情人。不想要那些贪图权势的贵族小姐。"他发出苦涩的冷笑，字句像刀子般刺出。"我就是个傻子。我想跟你回到海上去。想要你为我偷来漂亮玩意儿，想你在船员面前吻我让他们嫉妒。想要你用打赢胜仗后的眼神看我——就像在看什么珍贵又美好的东西——叫我'亲爱的'、'宝贝'——"他喉头一哽，这才发现眼眶蓄满未落的泪水。他死死闭紧眼睛不让泪落下。"我真是蠢透了，"他咬牙切齿地说，"对你而言这不过是场权力游戏。我是你新得的玩具对吧？迟早会腻的。不过是件想摆弄就摆弄，想丢弃就丢弃的漂亮首饰。"
“Seonghwa,” Hongjoong spoke urgently, warm hands cupping Seonghwa’s cheeks, and like a foolish idiot, he leaned into the touch. “Seonghwa, my love…” Hongjoong stood a little shorter than Seonghwa without his boots, but Seonghwa never thought of him as small. Now, he looked diminutive. Heartbroken. Tiny. His thumb wiped a stray tear off Seonhwa’s cheek. “If you are a bauble, you are a diamond.” Honesty shone through his bottomless eyes. “That’s the hardest kind of stone, you know.” The weak twitch of a smile at the corners of his mouth. “It usually survives.”
“成华，”洪俊急切地唤着，温热的手掌捧住成华的脸颊。而他像个痴傻的笨蛋般，不由自主地蹭进那掌心。“成华，我的爱人...” 不穿靴子时洪俊比成华矮些，但成华从不觉得他渺小。此刻他却显得脆弱。心碎。渺小。拇指拭去成华脸上泪痕时，洪俊深邃眼眸里晃动着赤诚：“若你是件首饰，那定是钻石。” 嘴角牵起微弱的笑纹，“知道吗？那可是最坚硬的石头。” 气音里带着温柔的笃定，“通常...都能撑过去的。”
As kind as that sentiment came across, it wasn’t what Seonghwa needed to hear. He pushed Hongjoong’s hands away and took a step back. “We never promised love.”
这份温柔的心意虽好，却不是成华此刻想听的。他推开洪钟的手，后退一步。"我们从未许诺过爱情。"
Something close to pain crossed Hongjoong’s face. “We never promised love,” he agreed. “But Seonghwa,” his lip trembled and he crossed his arms over his chest with a deep exhale. “I’m so very fond of you. I…” He shook his head. “I apologize. For all of this. For dragging you into this mess. For asking for your hand.”
一抹近乎痛苦的神色掠过洪中的脸庞。"我们从未承诺过爱情，"他承认道。"但是成华啊，"他的嘴唇颤抖着，双臂交叉抱在胸前深深呼出一口气。"我真的很喜欢你。我......"他摇了摇头。"我道歉。为这一切。为把你拖进这团乱麻。为向你求婚。"
Seonghwa stared at him, not knowing where to begin to process this turn. He realized he’d never seen Hongjoong this unguarded and vulnerable outside their physical intimacy.
成华凝视着他，不知该如何消化这个转折。他意识到，除了身体亲密时，自己从未见过洪中如此毫无防备又脆弱的样子。
“It was wrong of me. I honestly didn’t expect your father to agree. I only wanted insurance that he wouldn't turn back on the treaty.” Hongjoong exhaled a short laugh. “I had a hunch you would be fierce, but I didn’t imagine how endearing- how lovely--” He turned around to pull the knife from the dead body’s throat and wipe it clean on the poor man’s uniform. “You don’t deserve any of this, sweet prince. You deserve some pretty noble girl with a tight cunt who can write you poetry and bear you sons.” He stood stiffly. “You deserve some pretty noble girl who isn’t afraid to admit to herself that she loves you.” His face had hardened back to its impassive mask, but his dark eyes glittered in the lamplight.
"是我错了。真没想到你父亲会同意。我不过是想确保他不会反悔条约。"洪俊短促地笑了一声，"我早猜到你会很烈性，但没想到竟这么惹人疼——这么可爱——"他转身从尸体喉咙里拔出匕首，在那可怜人的制服上擦净血迹。"你不该承受这些，亲爱的王子。你该配个紧致小穴的贵族小姐，能为你写诗生子。"他僵硬地站着，"你该配个敢承认爱你的贵族小姐。"他的脸又恢复成冷漠面具，但漆黑眼眸在灯光下闪烁。
“Captain,” Seonghwa whispered. The water in his lungs weighed more than the iron anchor on Hongjoong’s ship. He couldn’t breathe. “Do you-”
“船长，”星华低声呢喃。肺里的水比洪俊船上的铁锚还要沉重。他无法呼吸。“你——”
“Don’t ask,” Hongjoong turned away, “Please, don’t ask.”
“别问，”洪俊别过脸去，“求你了，别问。”
Seonghwa swallowed thickly and wet his lips. “You promised me respect, honor, and fidelity.” He felt a little weak in the knees, so he perched on the edge of the bed again. “You promised me kindness. You promised you wouldn’t leave me.”
星和艰难地咽了咽口水，润湿嘴唇。“你承诺过给我尊重、荣誉和忠诚。”他感到膝盖有些发软，便又坐回床沿。“你承诺过会善待我。你保证过不会离开我。”
Hongjoong took an unsteady breath and set his jaw. “Yes. I did.” He stepped over to tap the dead body by the door with his foot. "But not love." He did not look at Seonghwa as he tugged on his missing boot and began to gather up the bodies on the floor. “I’m going to clean up. Don’t wait up for me.”
洪俊呼吸不稳地咬了咬牙。“是，我说过。”他走过去用脚尖碰了碰门边的尸体。“但没说过爱。”他弯腰捡起地上遗失的靴子，开始收拾地板上的尸首，始终没看星和一眼。“我要清理现场。别等我了。”
Seonghwa splashed cold water on his face and changed into his nightclothes without thinking about anything in particular. He tried to fall asleep quickly, but the bed felt cold and empty without Hongjoong and he saw blood every time he closed his eyes.
星和用冷水泼了泼脸，机械地换上睡衣。他试图快速入睡，但少了洪俊的床铺冰冷空荡，每次闭眼都看见满目鲜血。
He laid still and quiet when Hongjoong returned. He stared unseeing at the dark wall and listened to the familiar sound of his husband undressing. The bed dipped, but Hongjoong didn't come close enough for Seonghwa to feel the warmth.
当洪准回来时，他仍静静地躺着。他空洞地望着漆黑的墙壁，听着丈夫脱衣的熟悉声响。床垫微微下陷，但洪准没有靠近到能让星和感受到体温的距离。
The blankets shifted and Seonghwa closed his eyes as Hongjoong leaned over him and kissed his cheek softly. "We did not promise love and I could not ask it of you, my darling prince, but I do wish for it," he whispered.
被褥窸窣作响，当洪准俯身轻吻他脸颊时，星和闭上了眼睛。"我们未曾许诺爱情，我也不能向你索求，我亲爱的王子，但我确实渴望它。"他低声呢喃道。
Seonghwa thought falling in love must be a little like drowning. Fear and panic as the lungs filled with water. A desperate, clawing fight to break the surface and breathe again. A burning ache in the chest and a cloying weariness from defying nature.
星和觉得坠入爱河大抵像溺水。当水灌入肺部时的恐惧与惊慌。为冲破水面重获呼吸而疯狂挣扎。胸口灼烧般的疼痛，以及违逆天性带来的令人窒息的疲惫。
Seonghwa trembled beside his husband under the warm duvet. He felt like he should say something, should tell Hongjoong about the bubble of conflicting feelings in his gut. How it hurt to think he might have left. How some part of Seonghwa glowed in the moments Hongjoong called him "mine" and pulled his wrist possessively. How everyone seemed to think Hongjoong loved Seonghwa except the king. And how hearing his shrewd assessment of Hongjoong's true intentions cut Seonghwa deeper than Yunho's cutlass.
成华在温暖的羽绒被下，依偎在丈夫身旁微微颤抖。他觉得自己应该说些什么，该向洪钟倾诉那些在胃里翻腾的矛盾情绪——想到对方可能离开时那种撕心裂肺的痛，又在洪钟充满占有欲地拽着他手腕说"我的"时，心底泛起隐秘的欢愉。似乎所有人都认定洪钟深爱着成华，除了那位君王。而当他听见君王对洪钟真实意图的精辟剖析时，那话语比允浩的弯刀刺得更深。
But Seonghwa was drowning and he couldn't cough up enough water to speak.
但成华正被淹没，他呛得连话都说不出来。