A subreddit to discuss and explore the dating process and learn from the experiences of others
Women think it’s only difficult for them to find a good guy.
女人认为她们很难找到一个好男人。
Currently, I’m having a roommate situation where they can no longer pay their rent and I’ve never realized how difficult it is to find a man who makes good money, can pay their bills on time, is responsible, clean, a good person, and has a good heart. It’s goddamn nearly impossible going through all these listings of people looking for places to live. I’ve even reached out to close friends, but most of the men they know are living at home with there mom, have no stable job, low paying job, don’t own a car, borrow parents car, have a car but can’t make their monthly payments, can’t survive, have to ask for money from parents, family, and everyone else to pay their groceries. It is ridiculous. I swear women must have it really hard in trying to find the perfect guy, but so do I.
目前，我有一个室友的情况，他们再也付不起房租了，我从来没有意识到找到一个赚大钱、能按时支付账单、有责任心、干净、好人、心地善良的男人是多么困难。他妈的几乎不可能浏览所有这些寻找住处的人列表。我什至联系了亲密的朋友，但他们认识的大多数男人都和妈妈住在家里，没有稳定的工作，低薪工作，没有车，借父母的车，有车但无法支付每月的付款，无法生存，不得不向父母、家人和其他人要钱来支付他们的杂货。这太荒谬了。我发誓女人要找到完美的男人一定非常困难，但我也是。
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yea, because the “good stable guy” usually isn’t looking for roommates
是的，因为“好稳定的家伙”通常不会找室友
This. I had the money to get my own place about a year out of college. Sharing an apartment with strangers is something I would only do if I was really desperate.
这。 我有钱在大学毕业后大约一年就买了自己的房子。 与陌生人合租公寓是我只有在真的绝望时才会做的事情。
The stranger angle too- there are plenty of guys with limited money who have friends and connections and aren't out there looking for roommates in public. They are getting hooked up by or with a friend or family member. So OP's process is designed to select for struggling men.
更奇怪的角度也是 - 有很多钱有限的男人有朋友和关系，不会在公共场合寻找室友。 他们正在与朋友或家人勾搭。 所以 OP 的流程旨在为苦苦挣扎的男性进行选择。
Can confirm, I bought and maintain a house on my sole income. Thought about getting a roommate just for the company and to speed up saving for renovations but would be more trouble than it’s worth.
可以确认，我靠自己的收入购买并维护了一套房子。想过只为公司找个室友，加快存钱买房费，但麻烦得不值。
I make good money, own a home and have incredible roommates. Because of my financial responsibility I put myself on a much better trajectory for retirement or financial freedom and I end up saving ~$2,000 per month. For the time that I am single, that adds up to $24,000 per year, which is pretty significant.
我赚了很多钱，有房子，有很棒的室友。由于我的财务责任，我让自己走上了更好的退休或财务自由轨道，最终我每月储蓄 ~2,000 美元。在我单身的时候，每年加起来有 24,000 美元，这是相当可观的。
My roommates are other hard-working and well put together guys. We keep a relatively clean house with modern furnishings. Overall a great situation with little to no roommate friction and they are some of the guys that I am closest to, which is a huge plus.
我的室友都是其他勤奋且团结一致的人。我们保持一个相对干净的房子和现代家具。总的来说，情况很好，几乎没有室友摩擦，他们是我最亲近的一些人，这是一个巨大的优势。
Depends on what you call a "good stable guy", but there are ways to be wise with roommates.
这取决于你怎么说一个 “稳定的好人”，但有一些方法可以明智地与室友相处。
I guess the same could be said with relationships 😏
我想人际关系😏也可以这样说
there’s definitely some truth to that
这肯定有一定的道理
Or they already are in them 😉
或者他们已经在其中 😉
Or a new relationship 或新的关系
This. I currently live alone and save about $1300 a month after paying all my bills. I’ve been entertaining the idea of a roommate to increase the monthly savings but I had a nightmare roommate a few years ago and as such am very hesitant to share my space again.
这。我目前一个人住，在支付所有账单后每月节省大约 1300 美元。我一直在考虑找一个室友来增加每月的储蓄，但几年前我有一个噩梦般的室友，因此我非常犹豫是否要再次分享我的空间。
Yeah that’s certainly interesting. I’m 29M and myself and all my male friends who are single tick most of these boxes. Decent paying stable jobs, are clean, kind, etc.
是的，这当然很有趣。我今年 29 岁，我自己和我所有单身的男性朋友都勾选了大部分这些框。体面的薪水稳定的工作，干净、善良等。
Same here. 这里也是一样。
You are who you surround yourself with 💯
你就是你身边💯的人
True - and this gets ...tough...as we grow and evolve - and when our friends don't.
没错 - 这得到了......艰难。。。随着我们的成长和发展 - 当我们的朋友没有。
Yeah for sure. I woke up one day, quit drugs, and left my friend group. Stopped responding to everyone. 1 year later I get a call one of my closest friends from that group that I grew up with, known him since I was 7 years old, died in an accident after one of their drug binged concert nights. My mom called me later on and said that could’ve easily been me.. really fucked me up. Came home thinking everyone would wake up now, that situation just made their behaviors worse. After seeing the reality of nothing changing, im back to not speaking with them. Pretty soon they’re all going to end up dead if they don’t stop. Realizing I can’t do anything about it has been difficult. But the most important thing I think is to do what’s right for me. I can’t continue on close relationships with the aim of saving people who don’t want to change.
是的，当然。有一天我醒来，戒掉了毒品，离开了我的朋友圈。已停止回复所有人。一年后，我接到一个电话，我从小一起长大的那个团体中最亲密的朋友之一，从我 7 岁起就认识他，在他们的一个吸毒音乐会之夜后死于事故。我妈妈后来打电话给我说那很可能是我..真的把我搞砸了。回到家后，我以为大家现在都会醒来，但这种情况只会让他们的行为变得更糟。在看到什么都没有改变的现实后，我又回到了不与他们交谈的状况。如果他们不停下来，他们很快就会死去。意识到我对此无能为力是很困难的。但我认为最重要的是做适合我的事情。我不能继续保持亲密关系，以拯救那些不想改变的人为目标。
These are very hard lessons.
这些都是非常艰难的教训。
Best of luck to you - but yeah - you cant save someone who does not want to change.
祝你好运 - 但是是的 - 你救不了一个不想改变的人。
Congratulations on being able to move on.
恭喜您能够继续前进。
Thank you for the kind words. Moving on is still a process. This stuff just happened, his 1 year anniversary is coming up in a couple of months. I at least am in a place where I’d choose being alone over bad company. Ngl it’s been hard to trust and find new ppl. Maybe college is also not the best setting a lot of ppl ive met remind me of ppl back home, just wanting to get drunk and forget about shit. I take it one day at a time. I know I’ll find my people eventually.
谢谢你的客气话。继续前进仍然是一个过程。这件事刚刚发生，他的 1 周年纪念日再过几个月就要到了。我至少处于一个我会选择独处而不是坏人陪伴的地方。Ngl 很难信任和找到新的 ppl。也许大学也不是最好的环境，我遇到的很多人让我想起了家乡的 ppl，只是想喝醉，忘掉狗屎。我一天一天地接受它。我知道我最终会找到我的人。
I’m going through this now. Quit the partying and stopped hearing from friends after 3-4 weekends of turning down going out. None have passed (thankfully) but I still see their posts and everything at 3 AM. It’s amazing how fast things get better once you stop that stuff. Like my finances are better, mood, just everything vastly improves to the point where you’re like “why was I even doing all this?”
我现在正在经历这一切。在拒绝外出 3-4 个周末后，退出派对并停止收到朋友的消息。没有人通过（谢天谢地），但我仍然在凌晨 3 点看到他们的帖子和所有内容。一旦你停止了这些事情，事情就会变得如此之快，这真是太神奇了。比如我的财务状况、情绪好转，一切都大大改善到你会想“我为什么要做这一切？
real asf man. i know you feel free, hold onto that feeling and don’t go back. i think my situation is out of the norm. usually we all end up okay. we’re supposed to at least, what people say is it’s all a part of growing up. but the longer it takes for you to stop, the more risk you bring on. my old friend group always took shit to a different level too, a lot of us were arrested, surprised it took this long for something tragic to happen.
真正的 ASF 男人。我知道你觉得自由，坚持那种感觉，不要回头。我觉得我的情况很不正常。通常我们最后都会没事。至少我们应该这样做，人们说这都是成长的一部分。但是您停止的时间越长，您带来的风险就越大。我的老朋友圈也总是把事情带到不同的层次，我们很多人都被逮捕了，很惊讶这么长时间才发生了悲剧。
Oh that feeling of having my morning coffee while they’re heading home, nothing like it. I love it. More than anything. It’s crazy looking back at the stuff we got away with, like just the blatant disregard for laws and stuff like that so I know exactly where you’re coming from. Thank you!
哦，那种在他们回家时喝我早上喝咖啡的感觉，完全没有这种感觉。我喜欢。比什么都重要。回头看看我们侥幸逃脱的事情真是太疯狂了，比如公然无视法律之类的东西，所以我确切地知道你来自哪里。谢谢！
not judging your decision, but why did you choose to go ghost them as opposed to just letting them know that you won’t be doing drugs anymore?
不是在评判你的决定，而是你为什么选择去幽灵他们，而不是让他们知道你不会再吸毒了？
I knew they were not ready to give up that lifestyle, and wouldn’t get it if i told them. I would see them around we all live relatively close and I explained I needed to work on myself and stop everything probably a month into going ghost. I remember ppl making excuses for their behavior. “It’s the summer, it’s the weekend, it’s ____’s birthday, we don’t only get fckd up.” I woke up one morning and was done. Then when I kept hanging out with them after a few days caved and started smoking weed again. Smoking, drinking, lines of whatever that was the main thing everyone bonded over. We all just kinda fed off one another, one person does something next person follows. After I folded I realized the only way I’d stop is by not seeing them at all. Kinda hard to tell people who you’ve grown up with that they’ve got problems and they’re a big catalyst for your addiction. Maybe you’re right, I should’ve been more upfront and direct. I was such a weak person, being true to myself and others was a foreign concept I am only starting to grasp in my life since I quit.
我知道他们还没有准备好放弃那种生活方式，如果我告诉他们，他们也不会明白。我会在周围看到他们，我们都住得比较近，我解释说我需要努力改变自己，停止一切，可能一个月后才会变得幽灵。我记得 ppl 为他们的行为找借口。“现在是夏天，现在是周末，是 ____ 的生日，我们不仅会搞砸。”有一天早上我醒来，已经完成了。然后，当我继续和他们一起出去玩几天后，我就屈服了，又开始抽大麻了。抽烟、喝酒，排队什么的，这些都是大家最关心的事情。我们都只是互相喂养，一个人做下一个人效仿的事情。在我弃牌后，我意识到我唯一能停下来的方法就是根本不看到它们。很难告诉和你一起长大的人他们有问题，他们是你上瘾的重要催化剂。也许你是对的，我应该更坦率、更直接。我是一个如此软弱的人，忠于自己和他人是一个陌生的概念，自从我戒烟后，我才开始在我的生活中理解。
thanks for responding and i meant it when i said that i wasn’t judging. I also learned over time that sometimes it’s better to be direct so they can get some closure over what happened. You were in each other’s lives for awhile.
感谢您的回复，当我说我不是在评判时，我是认真的。 随着时间的推移，我还了解到，有时最好直截了当，这样他们就可以对发生的事情有所了解。 你们在彼此的生活中待了一段时间。
But what you said is true as well. I do believe that in order to be direct you do need to have some strength on your own and when you don’t, sometimes the only practical thing to do is to ghost.
但你说的也是真的。 我确实相信，为了直接，你确实需要自己有一些力量，当你没有时，有时唯一实际的事情就是鬼魂。
Truth, self confidence and strength is required for that to happen. What I heard recently from one of em was my departure made him also back away. It was implied by not showing up im making a change. I agree with directness being most preferable tho.
要做到这一点，需要真理、自信和力量。我最近从他们中的一个人那里听到的是，我的离开使他也退缩了。这意味着我没有出现我做出了改变。我同意直接是最可取的。
It's because we typically surround ourselves with similar people.
这是因为我们周围通常都是相似的人。
I'll be honest. I own my own car, was taught to cook and clean and be more than a decent person, and have a job that pays enough for me to move out. But I live at home because I want to save up and buy a place of my own. I want to avoid renting at all costs. It's the economy.
老实说。我有自己的车，被教导做饭和打扫卫生，不仅仅是一个正派的人，还有一份薪水足够我搬出去的工作。但我住在家里，因为我想存钱买一个自己的地方。我想不惜一切代价避免租房。而是经济。
Yeah with today’s economy I rather own than rent with roommates I do not know and depend on them, that is the main goal I am working towards, so I understand where you are coming from and the direction you are heading .
是的，在今天的经济形势下，我宁愿拥有而不是与我不认识和依赖他们的室友租房，这就是我正在努力实现的主要目标，所以我了解你来自哪里，你要去哪里。
That’s not an issue at all. At least not for me (f28). I moved back in with my mum a few months ago after living on my own the past 5,5 years. I have a research master etc but had issues with my previous condo and decided to move. I’m going to travel this spring and then start saving up too for my own home. Hoping to buy something in 2-3 years time.
这根本不是问题。至少对我来说不是 （f28）。在过去的 5.5 年里，我独自生活了 5.5 年，几个月前搬回了我妈妈那里。我有一个研究硕士等，但我以前的公寓有问题，决定搬家。今年春天我打算去旅行，然后也开始为我自己的房子存钱。希望在 2-3 年内买点东西。
Thats smart 这很聪明
My current gf said the same thing too. She wasn't looking in places where those types of men gather. You'll find some of them on dating app (Like we did) but they usually give up because the numbers aren't in their favor. If you want to find a good man, go to there they usually hang out. Look up popular hobbies for men and start there.
我现在的女朋友也说了同样的事情。她没有在寻找那些类型的男人聚集的地方。 你会在约会应用程序上找到他们中的一些（就像我们所做的那样），但他们通常会放弃，因为数字对他们不利。如果你想找一个好男人，就去他们通常会去的地方。查找男性的流行爱好并从那里开始。
good men don’t really hang out anywhere though. They go food shopping and do stuff around their house.
不过，好男人不会真的在任何地方闲逛。 他们去买食物，在家里做事。
Nah we're off skiing in the winter now
不，我们现在冬天要滑雪了
I wanted to go skiing but apparently it’s expensive as fuck
我想去滑雪，但显然它他妈的很贵
Or to Central America to surf
或去中美洲冲浪
Or tinkering in the garage. Why go to the bar when my brothers and I can just drink and work on our vehicles at home? Cheaper and more fun.
或者在车库里修补。当我和我的兄弟们可以在家里喝酒和修理我们的车辆时，为什么还要去酒吧呢？更便宜，更有趣。
Well how are we supposed to find you then? :(
那么我们应该如何找到你呢？:(
I don't know. :( Might also find us on a random roadtrip on a random weekend somewhere random 10 hours from home just for fun or to trailer a vehicle or pick up an engine. Or find us sleeping on a cuddy cabin boat on a lake watching what we can see of the northern lights, looking at the stars, listening to the insects, and feeling the waves hitting and rocking the boat while having some drinks and sharing some laughs. Don't even know how we sleep 3 grown men in that boat. Or we might be out skiing, biking, knee boarding, motorcycling, kayaking, fishing, hiking, or just walking around town. Or take our vehicles out onto a frozen lake and have fun sliding around. The most social thing we might be at is a concert. We still avoid a lot of people in general because a decent amount suck, and some of the stuff we do might possibly hypothetically be considered illegal, so we usually stick to ourselves and try not to draw a lot of attention. Which yea, makes us hard to find.
我不知道。:(也可能在离家 10 小时车程的随机周末随机某个地方随机发现我们，只是为了好玩或拖车或购买发动机。或者发现我们睡在湖上的舒适小屋船上，看着我们可以看到的北极光，看星星，听昆虫的声音，感受海浪拍打和摇晃船只，同时喝点饮料，分享一些笑声。甚至不知道我们是怎么在那条船上睡 3 个成年男人的。或者我们可能外出滑雪、骑自行车、跪板冲浪、骑摩托车、划皮划艇、钓鱼、远足，或者只是在城里散步。或者将我们的车辆开到结冰的湖面上，尽情滑行。我们参加的最具社交性的活动可能是一场音乐会。一般来说，我们仍然会避开很多人，因为相当多的人很糟糕，而且我们所做的一些事情可能被假设为非法，所以我们通常会坚持自己，尽量不要引起太多关注。是的，这让我们很难找到。
all of these things are not conducive to meeting women though, they’re pretty self isolating
不过，所有这些都不利于结识女性，它们非常自我孤立
You are very badass! 你真是个坏蛋！
You like motorcycles? Look for the guy riding solo(not in a group). Guys with solo seats are almost guaranteed to be single. Go to the grocery store, every single one of us eat. Check his buggy. Strong on meat and starches? Odds in your favor. While pushing a shopping cart, left hand is on obvious display.
And that's just another reason you have more money 😂
Sure we do.
We are at the bookstore, or the library.
We are at the gaming store playing board games with friends, or walking in the forest preserve on a nice day, sometimes we go to a museum with friends or relatives, or wander the hardware store looking for a missing part.
Some go to beer shows and wine tastings - others go see live jazz or comedy - some even perform live jazz (not me - but friends) or do comedy shows.
But sometimes - we do shop for groceries in a sunday night.
"We" - referring to self as a "good man" never comes out as you think it does
God damn, that's me and I just feel so hopeless. Dating apps are so bad and I can't stand them. I did make one good friend off them though.
Most of us are married.
But some of us are now divorced - there is a window....
The gym isn't a terrible place. I usually try to spend 5 hours a week there.
If he has good money and a stable job he doesn't need a roommate, so it's the same selection bias as people swiping right on only the hottest guys on apps and being frustrated when all they want is casual sex/hookups and never had to learn how to do anything for himself.
Wise (but potentially unpopular) words here.
Shouldnt there be plenty of men at your job that would meet your requirements? They should earn around the same as you thus their financials should be similar to yours
We fired everyone, and the few that remained are either in the inner circle or do really well. I did however reach out to my old coworkers but they’re in no position to move at the moment.
“We fired everyone” is unfortunately all to common these days along with real wages being stagnant and real prices going up, there aren’t any good paying jobs left. Good luck on your search, your probably going to need it, as well are all probably going on a wild ride these next couple of years
People want to reap where they never invested. Good luck lol
Too right. People expect a terrific partner, but they've never put the work into being a terrific person. Good guys, when asked what makes them "good," will just get angry at you.
None of the guys in my circle have any "problems" you've mentioned. You may be looking in the wrong places.
It's pretty rough out there for just about everyone not born with a trust fund.
Just a note.
Most people in the world even when they are financially responsible, struggle with paying their bills.
You are very lucky if you have never struggled with paying your bills.
Even so, that doesn't mean you have to stay with a roommate who cannot uphold their end of the bargain.
You could date a man who is rich today and based on the stock market plummeting or one crypto rug pull he could be broke tomorrow.
Same if we 'reversed' the genders.
You don't have to date anyone who doesn't have the same financial capability as you. But also, say you do find your dream guy? He has savings, he is one of the rare few people who was able to get and keep a six figure job.
One on the job injury that gives him brain fog or a bad back can destroy all that.
Savings of even multimillionaires can be wiped out by one bout with cancer.
Don't date people who you don't want to date. But also realize that most people in the world struggle financially and even if they are smart and responsible and hardworking, may never climb out of poverty.
Completely agree. Struggle does not reflect the responsibility of people.
My parents are both hard working, honest, and financially responsible. They didn’t get their first house till they were in their late 40s, which is older than most people in their generation. Why? They were born in a third world country, not a lot of access to education (specially for women), didn’t speak English well when they got here, and had to start college at 30 instead of 18 like most people. They struggled, but it wasn’t reflective of their character.
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See. I graduated college in 2020, during the pandemic and covid recession. Got my first real job in 2022, laid off 8 months later in 2023. Starting my new job 2 years later (in 2 weeks). Some people just don’t have the luck of the draw tbh
I understand, I was referring to people I don’t know. Everyone I know is unfortunately doing well.
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Thank you! I downloaded it right now and it’s a cool platform.
I own my own home, have two paid for cars and a new one I’m currently paying on, have always worked, and haven’t borrowed money from my parents since my late teens.
You likely wouldn’t have been able to find me on dating apps because I only used those for a month or so due to having way more success meeting women in the real world. I found apps to be a total waste of time.
You are calling out other guys when you can’t pay your own rent bud.
I paid his share this month and bought my roommate groceries, but good stuff man it’s hard to be successful in life with or without help. I’m a similar way, you won’t find me on any app, it’s all by referrals lol
I’ve always found success can be had if you make it so. I grew up poor and decided I did not want to live that way as an adult. I’ve always made my own way and busted my ass to get where I am today.
I’m not sure your situation but can you get by without a roommate? I will say with 100% certainty I living by yourself is pretty awesome.
yep
what?
The criteria here tends to be mutually exclusive, especially noticeable during a cost of living crisis.
A man who:
Makes good money (power)
Can pay all their bills (power)
A man who is:
Responsible (independence)
Clean (independence)
A man who is:
A good person (ethics)
A good heart (ethics)
Women who complain about their exes usually describe:
A man who checked off the income boxes. He looked great on paper, but also had dependent behavior and turned out to be a bad person. That's probably because he had many advantages handed to him, and stepped on others to get ahead. Cheated to get where he is, and cheated on me. Should have left years ago, but I kept getting pulled back in. He had a really nice car.
A man who was really well put together. Clean, organized, handy... but so unambitious! He wasn't going anywhere in his career, he was dull and not very intelligent. Judged people who took shortcuts or accepted charity from others, and wasn't supportive of my life or my goals. Always explaining the right way to be, while ignorant of his own shortcomings. He knew how to fix his own car.
A man who was so sweet and caring, or super intelligent and passionate, but I couldn't live like that. He was messy and couldn't do anything for himself, and wouldn't leave his passion career even though he was borderline homeless. There was no future there, and I felt like I was replacing his mom. Didn't even know how to drive.
It's basically a triangle. You can find people who are extremely on one corner or a balance of more than one, but almost nobody breaks the model or sits bizarrely in the center unless they are a poorly written fictional character.
Yeah because the women are drowning in money
Just keep looking. You’ll eventually find some of us out there in the wild haha I’m in my late 20’s and it fascinates me whenever I find out a few of my friends still haven’t got their drivers license yet or a job! That’s the first thing I got fresh out of high school lol I understand everyone’s situation is different but I feel blessed knowing my truck is paid off, bills get paid, money gets saved, and I’m still having fun every here and there.
I've used dating sites a long time, and this is what I've seen. This may vary by location, and I can only relate my experience in Southern California, because that's all I have personal experience with.
The vast majority of women's profiles that I see here in Southern Cal indicate they are very interested in good times. They want to travel, often internationally, play, party, laugh, drink, behave like children, and generally live the "good life".
Meanwhile, none of these people seem to understand what's going on in the local business world. They don't seem to know that the US is losing manufacturing jobs to other countries. They don't seem aware that competition for what used to be "men's jobs" is fierce and those men are being replaced, undercut by immigrants and women, all of whom are willing to work for less than male US citizens.
Today there are more women graduating from colleges than men. They have ascended into management positions, are entering science and technology fields, and are competing with men on every level.
YET... They still think men should be the primary source of income for the family.
Hey, we have too many people who want a job in the US and too few jobs that can pay the rent or car expenses, let alone pay for recreational boats, travel, booze, a house that will impress the neighbors, and everything else that women want in life.
Yes I agree. I really think the rise of inflation and cost of living has a lot to do with two income households and Single income households struggling.
I’m trying so hard to get by ,I’ve applied to even fast food restaurants just get any kind of job it’s rough out here , I’ve been out offering myself for any services needed went to work with some gardeners for some cash give some of us some slack man
Buckle up. The next 4 years are going to be even more expensive than ever
This is a misconception which is highly regarded as fact. And here's a harsh truth: 80% of men are regarded by women as highly unattractive, doesn't matter if they're good guys or just plain assholes. The real question is, why can't women find a good guy who's also attractive, tall and financially stable?
How old are we talking? I dont know anyone doing this in their 30s.
I'd like to think I fit those criteria, but I also have my own apartment already. I'm super quiet and don't do well with roommates, though (I accidentally made a college roommate seek therapy because I had an involuntary habit of tapping my foot when studying and it drove him insane).
Hopefully, the right person pops up soon, someone responsible and chill would be a rare gem. Sending good vibes your way.
Asking one person = all women, yup that’s the same
Perhaps you are young, in your early to mid 20s (basing this on having a number of friends that still live with parents that is), perhaps to mitigate your situation, you should refine your search to those in their late to early 30s. This age range of people (or most), have achieved maturity, responsibility, and basic stability in life that would meet your needs.
Not to mention, if you find yourself questioning whether you would be able to form a connection with someone slightly older than you are, I am certain you would. The enhanced responsibility and maturity in a person does not automatically equate to a boring personality by no means. You would find the age difference in compatibility miniscule
absolutely
In trying to make friends outside a school and work setting ive found newfound appreciation of the female perspective on dating. If I cant find one I want to be just friends with how are they meant to find a goddamn life partner. Pick up your game lads, no excuses.
What's functionally best for a woman doesn't mean he's the best emotionally. He could be unattractive, boring, or inexperienced. I don't think there are many women out there willing to give up their search for an emotional connection.
It’s your social circle bro
I have a car, a stable well-paying job, and no debt. I, however, live with my parents - it did get in the way of finding a girlfriend, but you need to look for someone who likes you enough to compromise. Don’t look for a perfect partner, look for someone who loves you and you can love in return.
I mean the roommate thing isn't terrible I get it with the current price of housing and the reality that if I'm dating close to my age people can pay bills fine but they can't buy a whole house plus I have my roommate and I could not have one but she's chill its helping me avoid expenses I don't need plus currently the next person I plan to live with is likely a partner
I have a family business doing elderly care, own a house in silicon valley, own a Tesla, pay all my bills on time and am generally responsible, as I am also a landlord to a tenant in the duplex in which I live on one side, and have a good relationship with my mom, but because I have a 9 yr old daughter that I share equal custody of, it's impossible for me to find a date. I haven't gone on a date since I broke up with my ex about 7-8 years ago. Dating is impossible if you don't have peers at work and don't have many friends and/or family nearby. I've tried all the apps and I think women get so many inquiries that only a select few guys that tick 100% of the boxes get matched with, so like ten guys are banging almost all of every thousand women in the entire bay area...
And what about you and your money situation, exactly where do you live and how much money do you have saved up?
People with a good income don't rent, the whole cohousing concept is made for low income people. Therefore you will always have this situation. As a guy that lived with 3 women for about 5 years keeping the place clean usually ment cleaning up their mess. Because men don't clean up but women are messy as F hair in the shower, make up etc everywhere in the house, socks on the floor in the living room, 20 pairs of shoes in the hallway instead of in their room.
The socks on the living room floor is too real lmao
Haha this is why I'm not looking for a boyfriend OR a roomate.
So what does lily want people to give her?
Laughs? Pancakes? Legos? Old CD's that the pawn shop won't even take?
Ok - now I want pancakes .....
dang.
Yeah I’ve noticed the majority of guys on dating apps I come across or who like me are doing almost minimum wage or lower level jobs as an adult.
There is nothing wrong with low wage/level jobs, if they can live off it and still spare money for activities than they are good. No job while able bodied to do so is more a redflag than being in low wage/levels.
So basically… you’re out here looking for a financially stable, responsible, independent man—and realizing they’re just as rare as women say they are? 😂 Welcome to the struggle, my dude. Maybe the real dating pool was the broke boys we ghosted along the way 😭💀
Women don't think that.
How old are you and your friend group?
Men are no longer inspired (to potentially slave away at meaningless jobs) by the promise of marriage, nor a house, nor a family. Then you have tech and blue collar companies that throw everything at any woman that applies and then promote her above men with much high seniority. End result is a lot of guys working half the year or just as much as they need to.
I always say that for men it is not hard to meet a good kind hearted, hardworking woman, but it is hard to get them to date and maintain the relationship. But the dating pool for us, women, is just non-existent. I make more money (which is not a problem for me, but it is for them), I'm organized, I have less problems when I'm alone than in a relationship and the return for being in a relationship is now worth it anymore. I just think I'm better by myself, and honestly enjoy not having to deal with raising a 40yo man. So sorry if this offends anyone, it's just my personal experience. And this is not just in the US...😮💨
What bs
Happy you found peace . Everyone's not meant to be in a committed relationship. If more people would remove yourself from the dating scene it would would save people a lot of time an energy