Chapter Text 正文
THREE WEEKS LATER 三周后
Isagi clicked his phone screen on while the driver brought him out to his team's home office. Today, the team was scheduled for off-field practice.
Isagi 在司机载他前往团队总部办公室的途中，点亮了手机屏幕。今天，团队安排了场外训练。
When he checked his notifications, he noticed his four-person Blue Lock group chat was going crazy for some reason.
当他查看通知时，发现他的四人蓝锁群聊不知为何异常活跃。
Reo: decided I'm going to the European league as well. maybe I'll see u around, isagi
Reo：我也决定去欧洲联赛了。也许我们还能碰面呢，isagi
Bachira: i still have no idea where I'm going, sigh~
Bachira：我还是不知道要去哪儿，唉~
Bachira: maybe i should go to a nice tropical country!
Bachira：或许我该去个气候宜人的热带国家！
Chigiri: come here. food is good lol
千切：过来，食物不错哦哈哈
Isagi read the messages that were blipping up on the screen with a smirk, watching on as his group chat's conversation continued. When they arrived at their destination, he clicked the phone screen off and stepped out of the car.
Isagi 带着一丝戏谑阅读着屏幕上不断弹出的消息，看着群聊中的对话继续进行。到达目的地后，他关闭手机屏幕，走出了汽车。
"Thank you," he nodded and smiled to Anya before she pulled off.
“谢谢，”他点头微笑，向安雅致意后，她便驾车离去。
Three weeks since he'd moved out to Germany and things were going well so far. Isagi felt that he fit in with the team quite well and was excited to find out to what new heights this club could take him to.
搬到德国已经三周了，目前一切顺利。Isagi感觉自己与团队融合得相当好，并兴奋地期待着这个俱乐部能带他达到怎样的新高度。
He proceeded toward the door inside. Snow was beginning to fall from the sky above, glittering delicately in the glowing sunlight of the morning sun.
他向门内走去。雪花开始从天空飘落，在晨曦的阳光下闪烁着细腻的光芒。
As he proceeded inside, Isagi couldn't shake the feeling grabbing hold of him that was telling him something was... Off. Why exactly that was, though, he couldn't figure out.
当他走进室内时，Isagi无法摆脱那种抓住他的感觉，似乎在告诉他有些事情不对劲。但具体是什么，他却无法弄清楚。
However, as the board room reached its capacity and the door was closed, Isagi knew exactly what was wrong.
然而，当会议室满员并关闭大门时，Isagi立刻意识到问题所在。
He scanned the room three times to confirm his fears were correct.
他扫视了房间三遍，确认自己的担忧成真。
Rin was nowhere to be seen.
Rin 踪影全无。
FIVE DAYS LATER 五天后
Rin bit his lip, the unbridled heat of frustration welling up inside his chest, burning white-hot behind his ribs.
Rin 咬紧了嘴唇，胸中涌动着难以抑制的挫败感，灼热的怒火在肋骨后燃烧得白热化。
It wasn't fair. None of this was fair.
这不公平。这一切都不公平。
Six days prior, he'd had yet another visit to the medic's office. They'd made a point of monitoring his blood pressure more closely after they'd taken note of it being high the one time. And this time, it was even worse news for him.
六天前，他又去了一趟医务室。自从上次注意到他的血压偏高后，他们就特别注意更密切地监测他的血压。而这一次，对他来说更是坏消息。
Both Rin and the medic were shocked to find his blood pressure was even higher than it had been before. He'd asked them to check it again, which they did, and he was disappointed to find it only yielded the same results. Because of this, to his great dismay and not without argument on his part, he'd been ordered to take one month's stress leave, a period of time in which he was forced to rest... And, well, this meant he basically had to do nothing.
Rin和医生都震惊地发现他的血压比之前更高了。他请求他们再测一次，结果依然相同，这让他感到失望。因此，尽管他极力反对，还是被命令休一个月的减压假，在这段时间里他被迫休息……而这意味着他基本上什么都不能做。
Rin loathed every moment he was idle like this. It was only five days into his 4-6 week ordered stress leave from practice and he was already bored out of his mind and frustrated beyond belief.
Rin对这种无所事事的状态深恶痛绝。才刚休了四到六周的减压假五天，他就已经无聊至极，烦躁得难以置信。
He'd moved out to this stupid country alone, for the sole purpose of furthering himself toward his goals. To crush Sae and Isagi. Yet he couldn't work towards these goals while he was being forced to sit around on his ass, as he was now.
他独自搬到这个荒凉的乡下，唯一的目的就是为了向着自己的目标迈进。要击败 Sae 和Isagi。然而，现在被迫无所事事地坐着，他根本无法朝着这些目标努力。
Having spent basically the entirety of his fifth day in forced relaxation, or whatever the hell it was supposed to be, attempting to distract himself with horror movies or games on his phone, he was growing tired.
在被迫放松的第五天，几乎一整天都在试图用恐怖电影或手机游戏来分散自己的注意力，他开始感到疲惫。
When Rin was left alone with his own thoughts like this, without something to keep him busy—without something to, in essence, obsess over—it was easy for him to find himself falling into the darkness of his own mind. Soccer encompassed every aspect of his life, after all, and to such a staggering extent, that he found when he couldn't practice or train his body in some way, he didn't know what else to do with himself.
当Rin像这样独自面对自己的思绪，没有事情让他忙碌——没有实质上让他沉迷的东西——他很容易就会陷入自己内心的黑暗中。毕竟，足球占据了他生活的方方面面，而且达到了惊人的程度，以至于当他无法练习或以某种方式锻炼身体时，他不知道自己还能做什么。
His hotel room felt hot and suffocating the longer he lay there on his back, his chest was growing tighter, and he was starting to feel quite dizzy. Was this a product of that stupid blood pressure issue? The more he thought about it, the more he realized it was actually... A little bit scary for him.
他在酒店房间里躺得越久，那种燥热和窒息感就越发强烈，胸口愈发紧绷，甚至开始感到一阵眩晕。难道这都是那个愚蠢的血压问题的后遗症吗？越想越觉得，这其实...对他来说有点吓人。
He shot daggers with his glare at the slip of paper he'd grabbed off his night stand, a pamphlet the medic had given him again about Stress Management.
他用凌厉的目光瞪着从床头柜上抓起的那张纸片，那是医疗人员再次给他的关于压力管理的宣传册。
Despite his unwillingness to read those ridiculous pamphlets the last time they'd given them to him, he had to be honest with himself... There was something he was probably doing wrong here.
尽管上次他们给他这些荒谬的小册子时，他并不情愿去读，但他不得不对自己诚实...这里头或许有些他做错了的地方。
Clearly, yoga and meditation by themselves were not helping him enough with his day-to-day stress management. Yet, when he thought about this a little harder, he realized... He was always still so angry. So very very angry. And despite how deeply he hated to admit it to himself, this was his only explanation as to why his blood pressure would be high. After all, every time he'd felt those dizzy spells in the past it was usually due to his own spiraling thoughts and emotions.
显然，仅靠瑜伽和冥想并不足以帮助他应对日常的压力。然而，当他更深入地思考时，他意识到……他总是如此愤怒。非常非常愤怒。尽管他深恶痛绝地不愿承认，但这是他血压升高的唯一解释。毕竟，过去每次感到头晕目眩时，通常都是因为自己失控的思绪和情绪。
Rin cracked the pamphlet open to examine a few lines in the English section.
Rin 翻开小册子，查看英文部分的几行内容。
Deep Breathing 深呼吸
When your stress levels become unmanageable, even something simple like a deep breathing exercise can help ground you.
当你的压力水平变得难以控制时，即便是简单的深呼吸练习也能帮助你稳定情绪。深吸一口气三秒钟，屏住呼吸三秒钟，然后缓慢呼气三秒钟。如此重复深呼吸一到五分钟，直到你感觉身体更加平静。效果会因压力的严重程度而异。
Breathe in deep for three seconds, hold it in for three seconds, then release the breath for three seconds. Repeat deep breathing like this for 1 to 5 minutes until you feel physically more calm. Results will vary depending on the severity of your stress.
His hands clenched against the paper in his fingers and he closed the pamphlet. Rolling onto his side, he dropped the pamphlet beside him on his bed and stared angrily at the hideous striped wallpaper plastered on the far side of the room.
他的手指紧握着纸张，随后合上了小册子。翻身侧躺，他将小册子丢在床边，怒视着房间另一侧那令人厌恶的条纹壁纸。
All of this was so infuriating for him. After all, Isagi, his rival, had arrived here, in the same place he was, only right now he was probably practicing, training his body, or going over plays; the more Rin thought about it, the more breathless he felt.
这一切对他来说实在令人恼火。毕竟，Isagi，他的竞争对手，已经来到了这里，与他身处同一地方，此刻或许正在训练身体，或是反复研究战术；Rin越是细想，越是感到窒息。
Was Isagi pulling away from him now?
Isagi现在是在拉开与他的距离吗？
Agonizing seconds ticked by, the analog clock on the wall in his room ticking down those seconds as if to mock his state of mind. The sound of each tick was akin to nails dragging on a chalkboard, grating relentlessly in Rin's eardrums, setting him more and more on edge with each one.
痛苦的秒针缓缓走过，房间墙上那只指针式时钟仿佛在嘲弄他的心境，每一秒的滴答声都像是钉子划过黑板，无情地刺激着Rin的耳膜，每一下都让他愈发焦躁不安。
Isagi.
The other boy's face flashed into his memory, watching him with that same neutral, calculating look he always seemed to wear. It felt as though those calm, unwavering deep-blues were always watching him—and the more he thought about it, the more he began to realize this shade of blue, the color of Isagi's eyes, wasn't a new one for him at all.
另一个男孩的面容闪现在他的记忆中，带着那副总是看似中立、深思熟虑的神情注视着他。仿佛那双平静、坚定不移的深蓝色眼睛一直在观察他——他越是深思，越是意识到这种蓝色，Isagi眼睛的颜色，对他来说根本不陌生。
It was the same color as the ocean waves that always swept him up when he struggled with his own emotions. Those powerful, overwhelming, frigid salt waves that threatened to pull him away in the blink of an eye with a riptide—the ocean hue that was harnessed within those sapphire orbs of Isagi's; the ones that never failed to erode him, to break past the brittle walls of his fragile, carefully built, yet deeply flawed enclosure... Simply by looking at him.
这正是那种在他与自身情感挣扎时总会将他卷起的海洋波涛的颜色。那些强大、压倒性、冰冷的咸涩波浪，仿佛在眨眼间就能被激流卷走——蕴含在Isagi那对蓝宝石般眼眸中的海洋色调；那些从未失效地侵蚀他，突破他脆弱、精心构筑却又深藏缺陷的围墙的眼睛...仅仅通过凝视他。
Those ominous azure waves, contained within Isagi's eyes, utilized an unwavering gaze that spoke the same thing to him that Isagi's gentle voice had whispered into his ear:
那些不祥的蔚蓝波涛，被Isagi的眼睛所容纳，用一种坚定不移的目光向他传达了与Isagi温柔的耳语相同的信息：
As long as I'm around, you'll never be alone again.
只要有我在，你将不再孤单。
Those words and that gaze thrashed hard against the breaks that already existed inside of him, assaulting him relentlessly with a powerful yet gentle and always unwavering touch. Isagi, the ocean, the riptide, had peeled away those blackened, broken shards that Rin was still grasping at with his own hands, stripping back everything around him until he was left naked, skin bare and trembling against the wind.
这些话语和那目光猛烈冲击着他内心已有的裂痕，以一种强大却温柔、始终坚定的方式无情地攻击着他。Isagi，那片海洋，那股激流，剥离了Rin仍试图用双手紧握的那些漆黑破碎的碎片，剥去他周围的一切，直到他赤裸裸地暴露在外，皮肤在风中颤抖。
Isagi's persistent efforts and carefully practiced insight had left him feeling wide open and vulnerable... For such a terribly long time.
Isagi坚持不懈的努力和精心磨练的洞察力，让他感到前所未有的敞开与脆弱……已经持续了如此漫长的时间。
Isagi.
Isagi, who'd followed him around like a lost puppy and watched him with that innocent, starry-eyed look of admiration and adoration. Who'd copied his every action and decision because the idiot thought this would somehow elevate him. Isagi, who'd always ignored his snippy remarks and sometimes bit back with his own.
Isagi，那个像迷路的小狗一样跟在他身后，用那双充满敬仰与爱慕的纯真星眸注视着他的人。那个因为愚蠢地认为模仿他的每一个举动和决定就能提升自己而亦步亦趋的人。Isagi，总是对他的尖刻言辞置若罔闻，有时也会以自己的方式回敬。
Isagi, who'd relentlessly picked him apart, watched him carefully, and saw him for who he really was despite Rin's every effort at pushing him away.
Isagi，那个毫不留情地将他剖析、细心观察他的人，尽管Rin竭力推开他，却依然看清了他的真实面目。
Isagi—who'd gazed fearlessly into the darkness, who'd seen and felt the sharpness of the broken fragments that were all that remained of Rin's heart—and still chose to love him anyway.
Isagi——那个无畏地凝视黑暗、感受到Rin破碎心灵仅存的尖锐碎片的人——仍然选择无论如何都要爱他。
Isagi. Isagi Yoichi. Jersey number 11 of the Blue Lock eleven team, the idiot who wouldn't let him be alone.
Isagi。Isagi Yoichi。蓝色监狱十一队的 11 号球衣，那个不让他独自一人的傻瓜。
He wasn't alone anymore.
他不再孤单。
When his eyes fixated on his dufflebag sitting by the door, he noticed the keychain hanging off his shoulder strap, staring at him from across the room with those creepily wide, unsettling beady eyes. Isagi's birthday gift to him.
当他的目光锁定在门旁的地板包上时，他注意到了挂在肩带上的钥匙扣，从房间的另一头用那双诡异宽大、令人不安的珠子眼盯着他。这是Isagi送给他的生日礼物。
Where was that anger now? Where was that crimson red that had broken him down into a million pieces, over and over again until there wasn't anything left of him? He could hardly even recognize how he felt now.
那份愤怒如今何在？那曾一次次将他击碎成千百万片、直至他一无所有的猩红色怒火，如今去了哪里？他几乎无法辨认自己此刻的感受。
If anything, all he felt now was just... Blue. The color blue. Sad, cold, and so terribly, horribly, deeply, alone.
如果说有什么感觉，他现在只觉得...蓝。那种蓝色。悲伤、冰冷，如此深切、可怕、孤独。
Rin pushed himself off the mattress, at his wit's end with this state of mental turmoil he'd been thrown into. He'd had enough of this.
Rin 从床垫上起身，对于这种精神上的混乱状态，他已经到了忍无可忍的地步。他受够了这一切。
When he reached the window beside the door, he cracked the blinds to peer outside. There was a blizzard raging on beyond the glass. He'd have to brave it.
当他走到门旁的窗前，他拉开百叶窗向外窥视。窗外正刮着暴风雪。他必须勇敢面对。
After bundling himself up and wrapping a scarf about his neck, he swung the hotel door open, mingling cold air from outside with the warm air inside. The frozen winter wind slapped hard against the bare skin on his face, shocking him momentarily. Snowflakes blew past and onto the carpet behind him.
裹紧外套，围上围巾后，他推开酒店的门，冷冽的户外空气与室内的暖意交织在一起。冰冷的冬风狠狠拍打着他裸露的脸颊，令他瞬间一惊。雪花飘过，落在身后的地毯上。
Ever since that winter night when Sae had returned from Spain and confronted him, Rin despised the snow. It may have been something of a beautiful melancholy to him before that, but after it, the snow only reminded him of shattered dreams and Sae's words to him that fateful night.
自从那个冬夜，Sae 从西班牙归来与他当面对峙后，Rin便对雪产生了厌恶。在那之前，雪或许还带有些许美丽的忧郁，但自那以后，雪只让他想起破碎的梦想和 Sae 在那决定性夜晚对他说的话。
You're just an eyesore of a little brother to me.
你对我来说，不过是个碍眼的小弟弟。
Never use me as a reason to play football again.
别再以我为借口去踢足球了。
Rin sneered against the frosty air that was thrashing him.
Rin 在刺骨寒风中冷笑。
Screw you, shit-vomit piece of trash brother.
去你的，垃圾兄弟，屎尿不如。
He'd had enough of Sae dictating his every thought and action. Now was Rin's time to take his life into his own hands... No matter how terrified he was to do it.
他已经受够了 Sae 对他的每一个想法和行动的操控。现在是Rin掌控自己生活的时刻……无论他对此有多么恐惧。
He didn't want to think for another moment about what he was about to do.
他不想再思考片刻即将要做的事情。
Rin stepped outside into the swirling blizzard to brave that bitter cold winter storm—and to confront the beautiful, devastating, ice-cold waves of the ocean that were beaconing him.
Rin踏出户外，迎着旋转的暴风雪，勇敢面对那严寒的冬日风暴——以及召唤他的，美丽而毁灭性的、冰冷刺骨的海洋波涛。
*
Isagi stood outside the team manager's office. He was about to knock, but he stopped himself, hand hovering inches from the door.
Isagi 站在团队经理办公室外。他正要敲门，手却悬在离门几英寸的地方停住了。
No... Damnit, I'm being an idiot.
不……该死，我真是蠢。
Five days earlier, Luka and Sully had informed the team that Rin was being placed on a 4-6 week forced stress leave. And every day since they'd delivered that news, Isagi found he couldn't stop thinking about it.
五天前，Luka 和 Sully 向团队宣布，Rin 将被强制休假 4 至 6 周以缓解压力。自那消息公布以来，Isagi 发现自己无法停止思考这件事。
He wanted so badly to check up on Rin but didn't have the other guy's phone number, and Rin was always unresponsive on social media. So, he thought maybe the next best bet was to ask about where Rin was staying so he could check up on him in person.
他迫切想要查看Rin的情况，却没有对方的电话号码，而Rin在社交媒体上也总是毫无反应。因此，他考虑或许次佳方案是询问Rin的住处，以便亲自去探望。
Isagi bit his lip and shook his head. Feeling utterly defeated, he walked away from the team manager's office door and made to leave. When he peered outside, he saw there was an intense blizzard raging on out there and his ride hadn't shown up yet.
Isagi咬着嘴唇摇了摇头。感到彻底挫败的他，从团队经理办公室门前走开，准备离开。当他向外张望时，发现外面正刮着猛烈的暴风雪，而他的车还未出现。
He had to be real with himself here. As much as he was worried about Rin, the other guy had made himself perfectly clear about how he felt about Isagi—there didn't seem to be any mutual feelings of friendship between them at all.
他必须对自己坦诚。尽管他对Rin的担忧深切，但对方已明确表达了对Isagi的感受——他们之间似乎毫无友谊可言。
Rin saw Isagi as a rival... That and that alone.
Rin 将 Isagi 视为对手...仅此而已。
I can't even really say we're something like friends... Can I?
我甚至无法真正说我们是朋友之类...我能吗？
Did Rin even... See Isagi as a proper rival? Did Rin see him as anything?
Rin 真的...将 Isagi 视为真正的对手吗？Rin 又是否将他放在眼里？
There was an ache of longing swelling, filling Isagi's heart. He pushed the exit door open, squinting as the cold wind assaulted his face.
心中涌动着渴望的痛楚，Isagi推开出口的门，迎面而来的寒风让他眯起了眼。
When he stepped outside, Isagi turned his gaze forward, then panned around for any signs of Anya's car. He felt a chill on his neck and pulled his scarf tighter across the skin there, though it didn't seem to help.
踏出室外，Isagi先是直视前方，随后环顾四周寻找 Anya 的车影。颈间传来一阵寒意，他拉紧了围巾，却似乎无济于事。
Was it that same weird chill? The one he'd forgotten about, because it'd been days since he felt it?
是那种诡异的寒意吗？那个他早已遗忘的感觉，因为已经多日未曾体验？
Isagi's sharp eyes fixed on the figure of a person, standing against the wall not far off to the side. His heart immediately sunk.
Isagi锐利的目光锁定在不远处靠墙站立的身影上，心头顿时一沉。
Somehow, he recognized the silhouette right away. Isagi knew exactly who it was before he even got close to them.
不知为何，他立刻认出了那个轮廓。Isagi在走近之前就已确切知道那是谁。
Rin.
Rin also took note of Isagi, too, through the thick veil of snow swirling between them. When Rin began to make his approach, Isagi's heart began to thump quicker and harder in his chest.
Rin 也注意到了 Isagi，透过两人之间纷飞的厚厚雪幕。当 Rin 开始向他靠近时，Isagi 的心跳在胸腔中加速，愈发强烈。
Isagi froze in place. Those deep blues shone with relief, widening the closer Rin got to him, glittering with the silver luminescence of the moon above him. With the light of his shining eyes and delicate wisps of his hair being tugged in each and every direction the wind wanted to take it, Isagi looked both whimsical and ethereal to Rin.
Isagi 僵立在原地。那深邃的蓝眸闪烁着释然的光芒，随着 Rin 的接近而愈发宽广，在头顶月光的银辉下熠熠生辉。他的眼中闪烁着光芒，发丝随风轻舞，飘向四面八方，Isagi 在 Rin 眼中显得既梦幻又超凡脱俗。
"Isagi." "Isagi。"
"Rin... What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be on stress leave?"
Rin... 你在这里做什么？不是应该在休压力假吗？
Rin outright ignored the question and proceeded to pace forward, his fingers, toes, and legs all cold as they could possibly be. He didn't care.
Rin 完全无视了这个问题，继续向前踱步，他的手指、脚趾和双腿都冷得不能再冷了。他不在乎。
"I have no idea what I'm doing," Rin blurted out, shocking himself with his own candidacy.
“我完全不知道自己在做什么，”Rin 脱口而出，连自己都被这份坦率惊到了。
"Wha... What do you mean?"
“什...什么意思？”
"I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. I never have. It feels like I'm running around in circles, like a chicken with its head cut off. I can't see what's ahead of me or behind me and everything's always so fucking confusing."
“我完全不知道自己在搞什么鬼。从来都不知道。感觉就像无头苍蝇一样乱转。我看不见前方，也看不清身后，一切都他妈的乱七八糟。”
Isagi's nose and cheeks were turning pink from the touch of the cold. His lips pressed together, downturning slightly into a small frown.
Isagi的鼻子和脸颊因寒冷而泛起粉红。他的嘴唇紧抿，微微下垂，形成一个小小的皱眉。
"I... Don't understand..."
“我……不明白……”
"I don't either. What am I even saying? What am I even doing? I don't even like football, I have no idea why the hell I play it. I don't know what the hell happiness is and I don't enjoy anything I do. Does any of that sound normal to you?"
“我也不明白。我到底在说什么？我在做什么？我根本不喜欢足球，完全不知道为什么鬼使神差地去踢它。我不知道幸福是什么，做任何事都不觉得快乐。这些对你来说听起来正常吗？”
Rin's voice suddenly cracked, straining against the heavy weight of his own words. His heart flipped in his chest, choking the words from his throat. Isagi's expression spelled utter shock.
Rin的声音突然哽咽，艰难地承受着自己话语的沉重。他的心在胸腔里翻腾，哽住了喉咙。Isagi的表情显露出彻底的震惊。
"Isagi..."
They were standing side-by-side now, gazing across their shoulders at eachother through the haze of the blizzard. The eye-contact forced a shudder through both of them at the same time, that familiar chill attacking their spines.
他们此刻并肩而立，透过暴风雪的迷雾，彼此越过肩头凝视着对方。目光交汇的瞬间，两人同时感到一阵颤栗，那熟悉的寒意直击脊背。
Rin's chest was tightening, strangling the words from his lungs with his peaking anxiety. He found himself asking something that immediately confused both of them.
Rin的胸口紧绷，因极度焦虑而窒息，话语被扼杀在肺腑之中。他发现自己问出了一个立刻让两人都困惑不已的问题。
"When you said you loved me, Isagi... What is it about me you loved?"
"当你说你爱我，Isagi... 你爱我什么呢？"
The question was spoken so softly, the words falling so delicately from Rin's lips, Isagi was immediately taken aback.
这个问题问得如此轻柔，话语从Rin的唇间细腻地飘出，Isagi顿时愣住了。
"W... What?" "什...什么？"
"You couldn't even answer that properly, could you? I bet you don't even fucking know," Rin hissed, his voice still low but seething now, "Because why the hell would you love me? What's to love about me? There's nothing. Nothing."
"你连这个都答不上来，对吧？我敢打赌你他妈根本不知道，"Rin低声说道，语气依旧压得很低，但此刻已满是怒意，"因为你怎么可能爱我？我有什么值得你爱的？什么都没有。什么都没有。"
"Rin, I—" "Rin，我——"
"You don't have to say anything, Isagi, because I know. You never loved me at all. You're just some freak who's obsessed with football and rivals, and I'm just another obstacle for you to overcome on your journey."
"你什么都不用说，Isagi，因为我知道。你从未爱过我。你只是个沉迷于足球和对手的怪人，而我不过是你在征途上需要克服的又一个障碍罢了。"
Rin could hardly believe what he'd just said, but now, these words were spilling forth without restraint from a place he'd kept them hidden under lock and key.
Rin 几乎不敢相信自己刚刚说出口的话，但此刻，这些话语却毫无保留地从他严密守护的内心深处倾泻而出。
He was starting to fully realize how he felt. How he feels.
他开始彻底意识到自己的感受，那种真实的感觉。
Waves of Rin's repressed emotions were strangling him now, tossing him hard against the relentless thrall of the ocean waves that were his feelings for Isagi... The ones he'd denied for so long.
Rin 压抑已久的情感此刻如潮水般汹涌，将他猛烈地推向那无情的海洋浪潮，那是他对 Isagi 的感情...那些他长久以来一直否认的情感。
Without another word, Rin twisted around on the heels of his boots, wind hammering against his shoulders from the side. He was facing away from Isagi now.
没有再多说一个字，Rin 猛地转身，靴跟在雪地上划出一道痕迹，侧风如锤般击打在他的肩上。此刻，他背对着 Isagi。
"Rin, wait. What are—"
“Rin，等等。你这是——”
Then suddenly, he was off. Gone. Running into the blizzard. Away from the power of the ocean.
紧接着，他便消失了。不见踪影。冲进暴风雪中，远离了海洋的力量。
Away from Isagi.
远离Isagi。
Not even ten seconds later, he was completely out of Isagi's sight. The blue eyed boy stared off into the storm, shock and disbelief rushing over him. He had absolutely no idea what the hell had just happened, but now that he was thinking about it...
不到十秒，他已完全消失在Isagi的视线之外。蓝眼睛的男孩凝视着风暴深处，震惊与难以置信涌上心头。他完全不知道刚才究竟发生了什么，但此刻细细想来...
Why did he just ask me all that? Was he... Thinking about me?
他为何突然问我那些问题？难道他在...想着我？
"Yoichi!" he heard from aside, and turned himself around to see Anya, the driver, waving him over to her car. He ran to her.
"Yoichi!" 他听到旁边有人喊，转身一看，是司机安雅，正朝他挥手示意过去。他跑向她。
"Anya... Do you know where Rin's hotel is?" Isagi managed to piece the question together with his broken English.
"安雅... 你知道Rin住的酒店在哪儿吗？" Isagi用他蹩脚的英语勉强拼凑出这个问题。
"Ah... No, I don't..." she replied, startled.
"啊... 不，我不知道..." 她有些惊讶地回答。
"It's okay, I... I'm going to walk. Sorry, Anya. Thank you for coming."
"没事，我... 我打算走回去。抱歉，Anya。谢谢你来接我。"
"Walk? In this weather...?"
"走回去？在这种天气...？"
Isagi was no longer paying attention to her. He moved away, waving back at her with a smile as he ran over to his previous position. When he reached it, Isagi looked down at the sparkling white piles of snow on the ground, and at the outline of Rin's footprints that were left in it.
Isagi 已经不再注意她了。他转身离开，一边挥手微笑着向她告别，一边跑回原来的位置。当他到达那里时，Isagi 低头看着地上闪闪发光的雪堆，以及留在雪地中 Rin 的脚印轮廓。
*
Collapsed on the ground in the entryway into his room, Rin was panting, lungs burning with hot agony from the cold that had ravaged them. Despite being in pro athlete shape, he was completely out of breath.
瘫倒在进入自己房间的过道上，Rin喘息着，因严寒侵袭而灼热剧痛的肺部让他痛苦不堪。尽管身为职业运动员体能充沛，他却完全喘不过气来。
He'd sprinted all the way back to his hotel room, through the blizzard, snow kicking up from his boots. His legs were trembling, not just from the cold, but also from his nerves. He coughed as he breathed, a grimace stamped on his face. He was completely distraught.
他一路狂奔回酒店房间，穿越暴风雪，靴子扬起的雪花四溅。他的双腿颤抖不已，不仅是寒冷所致，更是因为紧张。他一边呼吸一边咳嗽，脸上刻着痛苦的表情。他彻底陷入了绝望。
After a few minutes, the cold burn in his lungs was finally subsiding. The snow he'd tracked inside was also melting, wetting his clothes, and he was starting to shiver with a chill.
几分钟后，肺部的冰冷灼痛终于开始缓解。他带进来的雪也开始融化，浸湿了衣物，他开始因寒冷而颤抖。
What the hell did I just do?
我到底做了什么鬼事？
He tried to move but his body felt like dead weight, limp, as if there was a sack of potatoes stuffed under each one of his limbs. He'd completely exerted himself emotionally then physically, and now he was wondering if he'd made a horrible mistake.
他试图移动，但身体沉重无力，四肢仿佛被塞进了几袋土豆，瘫软不堪。他先是情绪上耗尽了自己，接着是体力，现在他怀疑自己是否犯下了可怕的错误。
Right as he was about to overthink himself into a downward spiral, there was a knock at the door that snapped him out of it.
正当他即将陷入过度思考的恶性循环时，一阵敲门声将他拉回了现实。
He cautiously got his feet and cracked the door. When he saw who was on the other side, his eyes grew wider and his breath hitched.
他小心翼翼地站稳脚跟，轻轻推开了门。当看清门外的人时，他的眼睛瞪得更大，呼吸也猛地一滞。
"... Isagi?"
"Why the hell... Did you... Run away from me... Like that...You jerk..." Isagi panted out between heavy breaths, chest heaving with each word.
"你到底...为什么...要那样...从我身边逃开...你这个混蛋..." Isagi 喘着粗气，每说一个字，胸膛都随之起伏。
"And screw you for doing that. I had to follow your footprints in the snow," Isagi snapped through the doorway after he'd fully caught his breath.
"还有，你真行，非得那样做。我不得不跟着你在雪地里的脚印走，" Isagi 在门口喘过气来后厉声说道。
Rin barely realized what he was doing but he pulled the door open wider, completely distracted by Isagi's sudden presence.
Rin 几乎没意识到自己在做什么，但他还是把门拉得更开，完全被 Isagi 的突然出现分了心。
"What I love about you," Isagi said plainly, face tilting to meet with Rin's gaze, "I'm gonna tell you right now and you'll shut the hell up and let me speak, no interruptions."
"我喜欢你的地方，" Isagi 直截了当地说，脸转向 Rin 的目光，"我现在就要告诉你，你给我闭嘴好好听着，不许打断。"
Rin was simply staring, quietly and slack-jawed. He found no words forming at all in his mind.
Rin只是静静地凝视着，嘴巴微张，一言不发。他脑海中一片空白，找不到任何言辞。
"First of all, you were halfway correct about the obsessed with my rivals thing and you were one hundred percent correct about my obsession with football. But saying I'd confuse how I feel about football with how I feel about you? Honestly, I don't know how you could ever possibly think that. Never think that way again."
“首先，你关于我对竞争对手痴迷的猜测只对了一半，而我痴迷于足球这一点你倒是完全说对了。但说我可能会把对足球的感情和对你的感情混为一谈？老实说，我真不知道你怎么会有这种想法。以后再也不要这么想了。”
Isagi leaned his body forward, claiming what little warmth he could that was emanating from Rin's room before steamrolling onward.
Isagi身体前倾，尽可能地汲取来自Rin房间的些许温暖，然后继续推进话题。
"I love everything about how you play football, and that's just that. I also love how dedicated you are, like, I wish I could work myself the way you do every single day. I love the way you look when you're concentrating on something, how you get that little wrinkle in your nose when you're thinking. I love your attitude because it always keeps me on my toes. I love your terrible, deadpan humor... Like, it's really bad, but I still love it anyways. And your relentless sass. I love that look you get in your eyes when you eat something tasty. And the way you sometimes relax when we're alone together, I especially love that. Also, you're like... Really good-looking."
“我喜欢你踢足球的一切，就这么简单。我也喜欢你的专注，比如，我真希望自己能像你每天那样努力工作。我喜欢你专注时的样子，思考时鼻子上那一点点皱纹。我喜欢你的态度，它总是让我保持警觉。我喜欢你那糟糕却依然让我喜欢的冷幽默……真的挺糟糕的，但我还是喜欢。还有你那不屈不挠的毒舌。我喜欢你吃到美味时眼中的神情。还有我们独处时你偶尔的放松，我特别喜欢那个。而且，你……真的很帅。”
Isagi's blush from the cold was now deepening with embarassment, spreading red across his cheeks and the skin on his neck that was peeking out from his scarf.
Isagi的脸颊因寒冷而泛起的红晕，此刻因尴尬而加深，红晕蔓延至他的脸颊和围巾下露出的颈部皮肤。
"I love all of that and more. So let me just say, I don't care what you're going through, I never. Never. Want to hear you accuse me of not understanding how I feel about you. I know exactly how I feel about you."
“我喜欢这一切，甚至更多。所以让我说清楚，无论你经历了什么，我绝不，绝不，想听到你指责我不理解我对你的感情。我非常清楚自己对你的感觉。”
Rin, standing in complete and utter shock, had his emotions written all over his face:
Rin站在那里，震惊得无以复加，脸上的情绪一览无余：
He wasn't only shocked. He was also embarassed.
他不仅震惊，还感到尴尬。
"Also, hearing you say you don't like football makes me really sad," Isagi added, the previous edge to his voice dissolving. "Would you... Let me come inside? Maybe we could talk about that... Also, I'm really cold..." Isagi added. Rin took note of his trembling hands at his side.
“而且，听你说你不喜欢足球，我真的很难过。”Isagi补充道，语气中的锋芒已消散。“你能……让我进去吗？或许我们可以聊聊这个……还有，我真的很冷……”Isagi补充道。Rin注意到他颤抖的双手。
Letting Isagi inside, after hearing all that... The idea petrified Rin.
听完这一切后，让Isagi进来...这个念头让Rin僵住了。
Yet, he still stepped aside anyway, and when Isagi entered, the door clicked shut behind him, sealing them inside Rin's hotel room together.
然而，他还是侧身让开了，当Isagi进入时，门在他身后咔嗒一声关上，将他们二人封闭在Rin的酒店房间里。