Chapter Text 章节内容
Isagi can't say what he thinks of Munich. A city is a city. Small and large, quiet and noisy at the same time. He understands why the Germans call it 'a village of a million inhabitants' but what attracts him here is the nature. Not that there's anything special about it, it's just... Isagi somehow liked it. He thought about it, racing the ball alone on the field in the setting sun in the shade of a large, beautiful tree, running with only half of his strength. It was a relatively quiet evening, boring as all evenings in Germany in the last five weeks. Isagi wasn’t complaining though.
Isagi 无法准确表达他对慕尼黑的看法。城市就是城市。小而大，静而喧，同时并存。他理解为何德国人称其为“百万人口的村庄”，但吸引他来此的是自然风光。并非有什么特别之处，只是... Isagi 不知怎的，他喜欢这里。他思考着，在夕阳下，独自一人在一棵高大美丽的树荫下踢球，只用一半的力气奔跑。这是一个相对宁静的傍晚，像过去五周在德国的所有夜晚一样无聊。Isagi 但他并未抱怨。
After all, he didn't come to Germany to have fun. Isagi hits the ball and thinks about what to do. Go to a bookstore? He had promised an acquaintance to read a book. Isagi mentally makes a note to stop by the shop after his impromptu workout. Maybe pop into a cafe? He immediately cuts himself off. That's a funny joke. But he could go home and watch a movie of some sort. At least he had something in his notes. If, of course, he had the energy for it. Knowing himself, Isagi guessed that he would probably fall asleep as soon as he hit the pillow and sleep for about twelve hours. There are some perks to his position - no one will judge him for sleeping too long. He might even be praised, but it doesn't really matter. Why is he trying to plan something? Isagi knows what he will do when he gets home since his life has been forced to be stable. There is no way he can complain. Not in his position.
毕竟，他来德国可不是为了寻欢作乐。Isagi 击球之际，思索着下一步该做什么。去书店吗？他曾答应一位熟人要读一本书。Isagi 心里记下，锻炼后顺道去那家店看看。或许去咖啡馆坐坐？他立刻否决了这个念头。真是滑稽的想法。但他可以回家看部电影什么的。至少笔记里还记着些选项。当然，前提是他还有精力。以对自己的了解，Isagi 猜测自己大概一沾枕头就会睡着，然后一觉睡上十二小时。身处这个位置，有些好处——没人会因为他睡得太久而指指点点。甚至可能得到赞扬，但这并不重要。他为何要费心规划呢？Isagi 清楚自己回家后会做什么，因为他的生活已被迫稳定。他无从抱怨，也不该抱怨。
It turns out, however, that something unstable can come along after all.
然而，事实证明，总有些不稳定因素会悄然出现。
He was about to score another goal when his ball was knocked off its trajectory by someone else's ball.
就在他即将再进一球时，他的球被另一个球撞离了轨道。
"Hey, what the hell?!" he yells in the direction the ball came from and looks at the man approaching him.
“嘿，搞什么鬼？！”他朝着球飞来的方向吼道，目光转向正朝他走来的男人。
"Hey!" The tall blond man responds, looking right back at him. It's annoying, but Isagi really has no energy for such strong emotions. "Aren't you bored playing alone?"
“嘿！”高个金发男子回应道，直视着他。这让人恼火，但Isagi实在没有精力去应对如此强烈的情绪。“你一个人玩不觉得无聊吗？”
"I have nobody to play with," Isagi replies succinctly, a bit weary of speaking German to ordinary people. Not counting his grandma, of course.
“我没有伴儿一起玩。”Isagi简短地回答，对用德语与普通人交流感到有些疲惫。当然，除了他奶奶之外。
"Why? Is this cute little foreigner too shy to make acquaintances?" God. Isagi is glad for the first time that he doesn't have the energy, otherwise he would have wasted it recklessly on bickering with some strange German. "Where are you from, by the way? Korea? Japan? No, wait, it's Ko-"
"为什么？这位可爱的小外国人是太害羞了，不敢结交朋友吗？"天啊。Isagi第一次庆幸自己没那个精力，否则他肯定会浪费在和某个奇怪的德国人争吵上。"顺便问一下，你从哪儿来？韩国？日本？不，等等，是科——"
"Japan." Isagi sincerely hopes that answering all the stranger's strange questions will get rid of him sooner.
"日本。"Isagi真心希望回答完这个陌生人的所有奇怪问题能让他早点离开。
"And what's such a handsome Japanese man doing in Germany?" The guy leans in a little towards him, peering curiously into his face.
"那么，一个如此英俊的日本人在德国做什么呢？"那人稍稍向他靠近，好奇地打量着他的脸。
"Why do you care?"
"你为什么关心这个？"
"Well, don't be so rude. I’m just interested since it's not every day you meet foreigners."
"哎，别这么粗鲁。我只是感兴趣，毕竟不是每天都能遇到外国人。"
"In Munich? Think of something more realistic."
"在慕尼黑？想点更实际的吧。"
To this statement, the guy just laughs quietly, raising his hands.
听到这话，那家伙只是轻声笑了笑，举起双手。
"Touché. That's true. Why are you here anyway?"
"说得好。确实如此。话说回来，你来这儿干嘛？"
Isagi looks away for the first time since their conversation began.... He doesn't even understand where. Should he answer?
Isagi 自对话开始以来第一次移开了视线……他甚至不知道该从何说起。他该回答吗？
"Came to visit my grandma."
来看望我奶奶了。
"Wow, how long are you here for?"
“哇，你要在这里待多久？”
"I don't know," Isagi smiles slightly as he continues his line. "Who knows, maybe I'll be here long enough to meet my death?"
“不知道，”Isagi微微一笑，继续说道，“谁知道呢，或许我会待得足够久，直到迎来生命的终结？”
"How dreary. You're too young to think about it."
多么乏味。你还太年轻，不该想这些。
This time it’s Isagi's turn to laugh. It isn't funny.
这次轮到Isagi笑了。这并不好笑。
"Maybe you're right. So, is that it? I want to go home."
“也许你是对的。那么，就这样了吗？我想回家了。”
He caught the guy's strange look on his face as he started to walk away before he called out to him.
他在那人转身离开时捕捉到了对方脸上的异样神情，随即喊住了他。
"Wait! What's your name?"
“等等！你叫什么名字？”
God
, thought Isagi.
天啊，Isagi心想。
"Isagi Yoichi." "Isagi Yoichi。"
"Yoichi? How pretty." "Yoichi？真漂亮。"
God 上帝
"Do you come here often?"
"你常来这儿吗？"
“I mean this is where I spend most of my spare time so…I guess?”
“我的意思是，这里是我大部分空闲时间待的地方，所以……我想是吧？”
"Shall we play next time?"
"下次一起玩好吗？"
"What? Why would you do that?" Isagi tenses inwardly. He didn't think making friends in his position was a good idea.
"什么？你为什么要这么做？" Isagi 内心紧张。他认为在自己这种处境下交朋友不是个好主意。
"Why not?" "为什么不呢？"
He sighs. Anyway, if he says no, it's not like this German will back down.
他叹了口气。反正，如果他说不，这个德国人也不会就此罢休。
“Suit yourself,” Isagi says and walks away. He was already at the other end of the field when he was called out again.
“随你便。”Isagi说着走开了。当他走到场地另一端时，又被叫住了。
"Hey! Yoichi!" Isagi sighs heavily - again - and turns around, looking at the stranger with a mute question.
“嘿！Yoichi！”Isagi再次重重叹了口气，转过身来，用无声的疑问看着陌生人。
"I'm Michael! Michael Kaiser!" Now he has a name. Cool. Michael shouts into cupped hands so he can be better heard: "See ya!"
“我是Michael！Michael Kaiser！”现在他有了名字。酷。Michael双手拢在嘴边大喊，以便更好地被听见：“再见！”
Isagi mentally scrolls through this short dialogue in his head but can't understand the guy. He's kind of strange.
Isagi 在脑海中反复琢磨这段简短的对话，却始终无法理解对方。那人有点古怪。
The next day, Isagi came to the field again. He wasn't lying when he said he spent a lot of time here; after all, he really has nothing to do in his spare time. Football helps him keep fit physically, and even more so mentally. It reminds him of the past, of Japan, of friends he may never see again. His doctor has forbidden him from overexerting himself, but he has been unable to dissuade him from playing at half strength. A bit of running, a bit of kicking a ball, a bit of distraction from his miserable life. The doctor couldn't say no.
第二天，Isagi 再次来到球场。他没撒谎，他的确花了很多时间在这里；毕竟，他闲暇时真的无事可做。踢足球让他在身体上保持健康，更在精神上得到慰藉。它让他想起过去，想起日本，想起那些可能再也见不到的朋友。医生禁止他过度劳累，但他始终不听劝告，坚持以半力踢球。跑跑步，踢踢球，暂时从悲惨的生活中抽离。医生也无可奈何。
Isagi tries to catch his breath, crouching in the middle of the field. He looks at his electronic wristwatch - 6.00pm - time to take his medicine. He gets to his feet and goes to his backpack when he hears his name called.
Isagi 蹲在球场中央，试图平复呼吸。他看了看电子腕表——下午六点——该吃药了。他站起身，走向背包，这时听到有人叫他的名字。
"Yoichi!"
Yoichi inwardly scolds himself and quickly takes the pills before the intrusive German pokes his nose in his business again.
Yoichi 暗自责备自己，赶在那个爱管闲事的德国人再次插手之前迅速吞下了药丸。
"Kaiser," he says in a colourless tone, his side still tingling.
"Kaiser，" 他用毫无感情的语气说道，侧腹依旧隐隐作痛。
"Resting?" "休息吗？"
"Sort of. What do you want?"
"算是吧。你想要什么？"
Kaiser pretends to grab his heart and shuts his eyes tight.
Kaiser 假装抓住心脏，紧紧闭上眼睛。
"How heartless! Is that how you talk to your friends? No wonder you don’t have anyone to play football with."
"真无情！你就这样跟朋友说话吗？难怪没人跟你一起踢足球。"
Isagi closes his eyes and counting to ten. Kaiser grimaces.
Isagi 闭上眼睛，数到十。Kaiser 皱起眉头。
"I don't care. Did you come to play?"
"我不在乎。你是来玩的吗？"
"Yes. But frankly, you don't look very…," he rubs his chin, probably trying to find the most derogatory word he knows, "Well put together."
“是的。但坦白说，你看起来不太……”他揉着下巴，大概在寻找他知道的最具贬义的词，“呃，不太整齐。”
Wow. Maybe not the most derogatory. Who'd have thought?
哇。也许这并不算最贬义的。谁会想到呢？
"I suppose in that case you have no business being here?" Isagi says hopefully, still coming around.
“我想在这种情况下，你没理由待在这儿吧？”Isagi满怀希望地说，仍在适应中。
"Well, no, I came here for a reason. I want to play football with you so rest for as long as you need to."
“好吧，不，我来这儿是有原因的。我想和你一起踢足球，所以你尽管休息到你觉得可以为止。”
"What would I do without your permission," Isagi replies wryly. He lies down on the grass, feeling the fine pebbles and the evening chill of the earth through the shirt on his back.
“没有你的允许我还能做什么呢，”Isagi 带着一丝讽刺地回答。他躺在草地上，感受着透过衬衫传来的细小石子和夜晚大地的寒意。
"Why are you being so rude?" Michael pouts his lips?
God.
“你干嘛这么粗鲁？”Michael 噘起嘴来？天啊。
"You're seven? Why are you so clingy?"
"你才七岁？怎么这么黏人？"
"Maybe I'm lonely. I'm looking for a soulmate, so to speak."
"或许是因为我孤独吧。我在寻找一个灵魂伴侣，可以这么说。"
"Sorry about the bad luck," Isagi replies without a shadow of sympathy.
"抱歉让你倒霉了，" Isagi 回答道，没有一丝同情。
"C’mon, I feel like there's something about you that might interest me. Entertain me."
“来吧，我觉得你身上有些东西可能会吸引我。让我开心一下。”
"Am I a bloody clown to you?" Isagi looks at him with annoyance.
“我对你来说就是个小丑吗？”Isagi 不悦地看着他。
"Who knows?" Kaiser lays down beside him and looks directly at him. "Why are you getting exhausted so quickly? You need to spend more time on your fitness.”
“谁知道呢？”Kaiser 躺在他旁边，直视着他。“你怎么这么快就累了？你得多锻炼锻炼身体。”
Something inside Isagi shrinks. Oh, he knows, he knows like no one else. Unfortunately, this knowledge does not bring him joy.
Isagi内心一紧。哦，他知道，他比任何人都清楚。遗憾的是，这份认知并未给他带来喜悦。
He is silent. 他沉默不语。
"Are you studying here?"
“你在这里学习吗？”
"What?" Isagi is surprised by the abrupt change of subject but thankful that they’re not talking about it anymore.
“什么？”Isagi 对话题的突然转变感到惊讶，但庆幸他们不再谈论那件事了。
"What are you doing here? I mean in Germany. You can't just play yard football and spend time with Grandma, can you?"
“你在这里做什么？我是说在德国。你总不能只是玩玩院子里的足球，陪陪奶奶，对吧？”
And then the nervousness returns after a seemingly innocuous question.
随后，一个看似无害的问题又让紧张感回来了。
"Well, I studied in Japan and so far... I’m just living here."
“嗯，我在日本留过学，至今……就住在这儿。”
"Really? Why?" “真的吗？为什么？”
"Don't you think that's none of your business?" Isagi snapped back.
The best defence is an offence.
“你不觉得这与你无关吗？”Isagi 反唇相讥。最好的防御就是进攻。
"Come on, I'm interested in everything about you, Isagi Yoichi. I found my soulmate!"
"来吧，我对你的所有都感兴趣，Isagi Yoichi。我找到我的灵魂伴侣了！"
"God..." "天哪..."
"What?" Kaiser raises an eyebrow with interest, not taking his gaze off Isagi's eyes.
"怎么了？" Kaiser 饶有兴趣地挑起眉毛，目光始终未离开 Isagi 的眼睛。
"You really are one of those, aren't you?"
“你果然是那种人，不是吗？”
Michael tenses up. He's worried about where this conversation will lead. After all, he hasn't yet forgotten the bitterness of being insulted when you're coming out.
Michael 紧张起来，担心这场对话会走向何方。毕竟，他还没忘记当初出柜时遭受的侮辱之痛。
“You're one of those awful incorrigible romantics who believes in fate, soul mates and listening to Taylor Swift.”
“你就是那种糟糕透顶、无可救药的浪漫主义者，相信命运、灵魂伴侣，还爱听泰勒·斯威夫特的歌。”
Kaiser sits up abruptly and feels relieved at the same time.
Kaiser 猛地坐起身，同时感到一阵释然。
"Hey!" Kaiser pokes him between the ribs with his finger, making Isagi giggle, "What do you have against Taylor Swift?" He says it loud enough that the birds a few feet away turn their heads fearfully, preparing to fly away.
"嘿！" Kaiser 用手指戳了戳他的肋骨，逗得 Isagi 咯咯笑，"你为什么对泰勒·斯威夫特有意见？" 他的声音大到几英尺外的鸟儿都惊恐地转过头，准备飞走。
Isagi looks at him with an unreadable expression on his face and then begins to laugh.
Isagi 面无表情地看着他，随后开始大笑。
"Really? Is that the only thing that embarrassed you?" He sits down, continuing to laugh quietly. "Well, romantic, you came here to play, didn't you?"
真的吗？这事儿就让你尴尬了？他坐下来，继续轻声笑着。“好吧，浪漫先生，你来这儿不就是为了玩吗？”
"You're not being a meanie anymore?" Kaiser looks at him with amusement.
“你不再当坏蛋了？”Kaiser 饶有兴致地看着他。
"Will you back off if I keep getting mad?"
“我要是一直生气，你会不会退让？”
"Of course not. I'm going to haunt you for the rest of your life."
当然不会。我会缠着你一辈子。
Isagi smiles again but sadly this time.
Isagi 再次微笑，但这次带着悲伤。
"You're going to jail, asshole."
“你要进监狱了，混蛋。”
"Only if you complain to the police."
"只有当你向警方投诉。"
"Why shouldn't I?" "我为什么不应该呢？"
Michael smiles brightly, spreading his arms as if ready to embrace the world.
Michael 灿烂地笑着，张开双臂，仿佛准备拥抱世界。
"Because I'm adorable!" "因为我太可爱了！"
Kaiser gets to his feet and holds out his hand to the laughing Isagi.
Kaiser 站起身来，向正笑着的 Isagi 伸出手。
"Look at that, I've already managed to charm you."
"看吧，我这不已经把你迷住了。"
"I think you're just a clown."
“我觉得你不过是个小丑。”
"Yoichi, you're heartless."
“Yoichi，你真是无情。”
"I think I can live with that."
“我想我能接受这一点。”
Wow. For the first time in his five weeks here, Isagi feels so calm and carefree. He forces himself not to think that this is temporary.
哇。在他来到这里的五周里，Isagi第一次感到如此平静和无忧无虑。他强迫自己不去想这是暂时的。
After all, they are doing what they came for.
毕竟，他们正在做他们来这里要做的事情。
Playing with Kaiser was... interesting. Isagi would like to give it his all, to be a worthy opponent. That's where the desire ends.
与Kaiser玩耍是……有趣的。Isagi想要全力以赴，成为一个值得的对手。这就是欲望的终点。
Isagi wakes up early in the morning, knowing in advance how tiring the day will be. He doesn't want to do anything. He wants to curl his face into the pillow, cry, hate himself, and never get out of bed.
Isagi 一大早就醒了，预知到今天将会多么疲惫。他什么都不想做。只想把脸埋进枕头里，哭泣，憎恨自己，永远不起床。
He gets up. 但他还是起床了。
"Yochan, do you want a lift or will you take a taxi?"
“Yochan，你要搭便车还是打车？”
A walk is out of the question. The whole test-taking procedure is very tedious and usually takes hours. He knows that if he asks his grandmother, she won't refuse to take him to the hospital, but he also knows how hard it will be for her to sit with him and wait for the results. He knows his grandmother well and doesn't want her to go through this with him.
散步是不可能的。整个考试流程非常繁琐，通常需要数小时。他知道如果向祖母求助，她不会拒绝带他去医院，但他也清楚让她陪着等待结果是多么辛苦。他深知祖母的脾性，不想让她陪自己经历这一切。
She does too much for him as it is.
她已经为他做得太多了。
The trip doesn't take long, but he knows he will have to spend at least three hours in the hospital. He is terribly hungry, but he is not allowed to eat until the final results are announced. After all, you never know what the doctors will find and what additional procedures they will send him for.
路程并不长，但他明白至少得在医院待上三个小时。他饿得厉害，但直到最终结果出来前都不允许进食。毕竟，谁也说不准医生会发现什么，又会安排他做哪些额外检查。
Isagi hates it but it's part of his life and he's grateful for the opportunity to undergo treatment.
Isagi虽然不喜欢，但这已成为他生活的一部分，他感激能有接受治疗的机会。
"Mr. Isagi?" The doctor addresses him.
“Isagi先生？” 医生向他喊道。
"Yes?" “是的？”
"You need to wait..." he looks at his watch and squints slightly, "for about two hours. Can you sit in the waiting room?"
"你需要等..." 他看了看手表，微微眯起眼睛，"大约两个小时。你能在候诊室坐一会儿吗？"
"Sure." Isagi nods in agreement and heads for the familiar room. At least he has his book and phone with him.
"当然。" Isagi 点头同意，朝熟悉的房间走去。至少他带着书和手机。
Time passes faster than he expected. He's almost finished the last chapter, clutching the book tightly, when a nurse calls out to him.
时间比他预想的过得快。他几乎读完了最后一章，紧紧抓着书，这时一名护士叫住了他。
"Mr. Isagi!" "@1001 先生！"
"I told you not to be so formal."
"我告诉过你别这么正式。"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she laughs. A nice girl, from the very first time he came to this hospital, she was always very kind. she was also the person who advised him to bring books so that he didn't get bored in the hospital. "Have you finished yet?" She looks at the slightly wrinkled book in his hands - Dandelion Wine.
"对不起，对不起，"她笑着说。一个好女孩，从他第一次来到这家医院起，她一直都很友善。她还是建议他带书来以免在医院无聊的人。"书看完了吗？"她看着他手中微微皱起的书——《蒲公英酒》。
"Yes, there are only a couple of pages left."
“是的，只剩下几页了。”
"And what do you think?"
“你觉得呢？”
"It was shit," Isagi replies honestly, to which the nurse only laughs.
“烂透了。”Isagi 坦率地回答，护士听后只是笑了笑。
"Please don't ever advise me to read Bradbury again. I told you that two books ago and I still think he's overrated."
"请别再建议我读布拉德伯里了。我两本书前就说过，他还是被高估了。"
"Fine, then next time let it be..." She falls silent for a few seconds, apparently scrolling through all the books she can recommend in her head. It has always been a mystery to Isagi how she finds time to read, given her busy schedule at work. "...Let it be Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close."
"好吧，那下次就推荐……" 她沉默了几秒，显然在脑海中翻找所有能推荐的书。Isagi一直好奇，她是怎么在繁忙的工作之余找到时间阅读的。"……就推荐《无比喧闹与无比寂静》吧。"
Isagi pauses, remembering that she saw this book the last time she was in a bookshop.
Isagi停顿了一下，想起上次在书店见过这本书。
"I've seen it. Isn’t it pretty long though?"
“我看过。不过，篇幅挺长的吧？”
"Trust me, it's a quick read. Her style is... It's a bit unusual but you'll figure it out."
“相信我，读起来很快的。她的文风……有点特别，但你很快就能适应。”
"Good. Shall we go now?" It wasn't his first time in this hospital, and he knew that if anyone approached him, it was clearly not to strike up a pleasant conversation.
“那就好。我们现在走吧？”这不是他第一次来这家医院，他清楚，如果有人靠近他，显然不是为了闲聊。
"Sure. Your attending physician is waiting in the office, I'll show you out.
当然。你的主治医生正在办公室等你，我带你过去。
That wasn't really necessary. Isagi had been to the hospital enough times to know the location of all the offices he needed. However, he didn't mind spending some time with his acquaintance.
其实没必要这样。Isagi 来医院的次数多到足以熟悉所有他需要的办公室位置。不过，他并不介意与这位熟人共度片刻。
"Do you know what to expect?" he asks.
“你知道接下来会发生什么吗？”他问道。
"Yes, but you know the rules."
“是的，但你知道规矩。”
"Yeah yeah, just from the doctor's mouth."
“是啊是啊，医生的话总是没错。”
"Exactly. Don't worry Isagi, you are in good hands.” She winks at him and that is the answer for him. The hint was clear and once again he thought how much he was grateful to her. "Now go."
“没错。别担心Isagi，你遇到好人了。”她朝他眨眨眼，这便是他的答案。暗示再明显不过，他又一次感慨自己有多么感激她。“现在去吧。”
Isagi thanks her and obediently knocks on the office door.
Isagi 向她道谢后，顺从地敲了敲办公室的门。
"May I come in?"
“我可以进来吗？”
"Mr. Isagi? Of course."
“Isagi先生？当然可以。”
Isagi walks over to the wooden desk and sits across from the doctor, waiting to be told.
Isagi 走向木桌，坐在医生对面，等待着对方开口。
"So, there are no critical changes, your tests are stable. However, there is one detail that confuses me."
“那么，没有出现危急变化，你的检查结果很稳定。不过，有一个细节让我感到困惑。”
Isagi wrinkles his nose at the last sentence and mentally prepares himself for what he will hear.
Isagi 听到最后一句话时皱了皱鼻子，在心里做好了准备，迎接即将听到的内容。
"I can't tell you what the source is, so I'm referring you for a biopsy..." the doctor turns his head to the desk calendar and compares the date with his notes. "...Next Tuesday at 12pm. Is that alright with you?"
"我无法告诉你源头是什么，所以建议你做一次活检..." 医生转头看向桌上的日历，对照着笔记上的日期，"...下周二中午 12 点，可以吗？"
"Sure. I have plenty of free time."
But not much time in general
, Yoichi thinks but keeps the comment to himself. "A puncture?"
"当然，我时间很充裕。" 但总的来说时间并不多，Yoichi 心里想着，却没有说出口。"穿刺吗？"
A biopsy is the most unpleasant procedure he has ever undergone. Only once and after that did he find out about his diagnosis - liver cancer. He doesn't know what he'll get next time, but it's unlikely to be worse.
活检是他经历过的最不愉快的检查。仅此一次，之后他得知了自己的诊断结果——肝癌。他不知道下一次会是什么结果，但不太可能更糟了。
"Yes," the doctor chuckles slightly, "Soon you'll know our work better than we do."
“是的，”医生轻声笑道，“很快你对我们的工作会比我们自己还了解。”
"There better be no reason for that," Isagi says, but then smiles. He knows the doctor isn't saying this out of spite.
"最好别有这种理由，"Isagi说道，随即笑了笑。他知道医生并非出于恶意才这么说。
"You're right, I'm sorry," An awkward silence briefly fills the office before the doctor continues, "I’ll see you next week then, Isagi."
"你说得对，我很抱歉，"一阵尴尬的沉默短暂地弥漫在办公室里，随后医生继续说道，"那我们下周见，Isagi。"
"Goodbye." "再见。"
Isagi extends his hand for a handshake and leaves the office, closing the door quietly behind him.
Isagi 伸出手握了握，然后离开了办公室，轻轻地关上了门。
He takes a taxi and tries to figure out how he feels about all this. It's complicated. Technically he hasn't been told anything bad, but there's no good news either if he gets a biopsy. He wrinkles his nose again, anticipating a few hours of extreme discomfort. In any case, there was no point in thinking the worst now - that was something he had learnt since he had found out his diagnosis. Don't wait for anything until you get the results.
他打了一辆出租车，试图理清自己对这一切的感受。事情很复杂。严格来说，他并没有被告知任何坏消息，但如果要做活检，也没有什么好消息。他再次皱了皱鼻子，预感到接下来几个小时会非常不适。无论如何，现在想最坏的情况毫无意义——这是自从他得知诊断结果后学到的一课。在结果出来之前，不要做任何预设。
Isagi was quite happy with that logic.
Isagi 对这种逻辑颇为满意。
The drive home was short, and Isagi immediately pounced on the food. Nothing greasy, nothing salty, nothing fried, nothing... It's a long list, but he's used to it by now. Now, Isagi enjoys eating everything, even if it is the most bland fasting food in the world.
回家的路程很短，一到家 Isagi 就立刻扑向了食物。没有油腻的，没有咸的，没有油炸的，没有……清单很长，但他现在已经习惯了。而 Isagi 则享受着吃任何东西，哪怕是世界上最无味的斋戒食品。
After quickly answering all his grandmother's questions and eating all that his diet allowed, he went to his room to pack. Smelling a slight scent of roast meat, he hurried out of the house. Isagi knows that his grandmother would never eat anything he is not allowed to eat in front of him, she even offered to go on a diet with him, but Isagi does not want to deprive her of such joys although such support made him cry. That night was the first time he had cried since he found out he was dying. It was a long night filled with tears and "why?" and "why did I deserve this?" phrases, spent on his grandmother's lap. All she could do was stroke his hair and cry softly.
迅速回答完祖母的所有问题并吃完允许范围内的食物后，他回到房间收拾行李。闻到一丝烤肉的香味，他匆匆离开了家。Isagi 知道祖母绝不会在他面前吃他不能吃的东西，她甚至提出要和他一起节食，但 Isagi 不想剥夺她的这份乐趣，尽管这种支持让他落泪。那是他知道自己即将离世后第一次哭泣。那是一个漫长的夜晚，充满了泪水和“为什么？”以及“我为何要承受这一切？”的疑问，他在祖母的怀抱中度过。她所能做的只是轻抚他的头发，轻声哭泣。
Isagi shook his head, trying to rid himself of these memories and walked towards the field. It was somehow unexpected to meet his new acquaintance here, though, come to think of it, one would have expected something like this from Kaiser.
Isagi摇了摇头，试图摆脱这些记忆，走向球场。在这里遇到新相识虽有些出乎意料，但转念一想，Kaiser这样的人做出这种事也不足为奇。
He sits right down on the ground to change his shoes when someone jumps on him from behind.
他正坐在地上换鞋，突然有人从背后扑到他身上。
"W-what the hell, Kaiser?"
“搞什么鬼，Kaiser？”
"I'm just glad to see you, sweet Yoichi."
"很高兴见到你，亲爱的Yoichi。"
"You're bizarre." "你真奇怪。"
"So are you." "你也是。"
To that, he had nothing to answer.
对此，他无言以对。
He continues to tie his shoelaces despite the pressure on his back and turns around when he's finished. Michael's face is too close to his, but for some reason he doesn't look away. Isagi looks directly into his eyes and sees a mischievous gleam in them. A love of life.
尽管背负压力，他仍继续系好鞋带，完成后转过身来。Michael的脸离他太近，但不知为何他没有移开视线。Isagi直视着他的眼睛，从中看到了一丝调皮的光芒。对生活的热爱。
Isagi feels like crying.
Isagi感到想哭。
"Hey Yoichi, why so sad?" Kaiser now frowns slightly, looking at the expression on the guy's face across from him.
"嘿 Yoichi，怎么这么难过？" Kaiser 微微皱眉，看着对面那人脸上的表情。
"Long day. Are you always this cheerful?"
漫长的一天。你总是这么开心吗？
"Only when I meet my soulmate."
"只有当我遇到我的灵魂伴侣时。"
Isagi is sure that's not true, that this man is always like this – cheerful, playful, and sunny.
Isagi坚信那不是真的，这个人总是这样——快乐、顽皮又阳光。
"And how often do you see each other?"
“你们多久见一次面？”
"Third times, including today," he smiles and leans even closer their noses touching tips.
“包括今天，第三次了，”他微笑着，更靠近了些，鼻尖相触。
"Do you know what personal space is?" Isagi says but stays put.
“你知道什么是个人空间吗？”Isagi说道，却并未挪动位置。
"Yes, I find it very boring though."
“是的，不过我觉得这很无聊。”
Isagi smiles slightly and squints his eyes.
Isagi微微一笑，眯起了眼睛。
"You're still bizarre." "你还是那么古怪。"
Kaiser laughs out loud at this, tilting his head back thus interrupting their little physical contract. Isagi picks up his ball and walks onto the field trying not to pay attention to how everything clenched inside as they split up.
Kaiser 听到这话放声大笑，仰头后仰，打断了他们短暂的肢体接触。Isagi 捡起球，走向场地，尽量不去在意分开时内心紧缩的感觉。
Michael catches up with him, picks up the ball - what an idiotic habit - and stops in front of Isagi.
Michael 追上他，捡起球——真是个愚蠢的习惯——然后停在Isagi面前。
"My sweet Yoichi, I have a suggestion." Isagi only wriggles against and waits to continue neither agreeing nor refusing. "We'll kick the ball to each other and ask questions."
"我亲爱的Yoichi，我有个提议。" Isagi只是扭动了一下身体，等待着继续，既不答应也不拒绝。"我们互相踢球并提问。"
Isagi ponders for a moment, still there are things he doesn't want to talk about.
Isagi沉思片刻，仍有些话题他不愿触及。
"I agree, but on the condition that I can skip a few questions if I find them too personal."
"我同意，但前提是我可以选择跳过一些过于私人的问题。"
Kaiser smirks and for some reason, Isagi doesn't think he's going to like what he's about to hear.
Kaiser 微微一笑，不知为何，Isagi 觉得他不会喜欢接下来要听到的话。
"Fine, but for every refusal, we'll make a wish"
"好吧，但每拒绝一次，我们就许一个愿。"
At first, Isagi thinks that if he misses a question or two, he can at least ask something embarrassing to beat out a wish. Then Isagi thinks Kaiser looks like a man who is willing to tell all about himself and will only be happy to do so. Maybe Kaiser's playfulness is contagious, or maybe the liver cancer is affecting his brain, but Isagi agrees and drops the ball.
起初，Isagi 想着如果他错过一两个问题，至少可以问些尴尬的事来抵消一个愿望。然后 Isagi 觉得 Kaiser 看起来像是个愿意倾诉一切的人，并且乐于如此。或许是 Kaiser 的调皮感染了大家，又或许是肝癌影响了他的大脑，但 Isagi 同意了，并放下了球。
"Okay, go for it."
“好，开始吧。”
Kick
"Favorite food?" “最喜欢的食物？”
"Kintsuba." "金平糖。"
"What is it?" "那是什么？"
Kick 踢
"That's the next question. How old are you?"
那是下一个问题。你多大了？
Kick
"Nineteen. So, what is it?"
“十九岁。那么，是什么事？”
Kick
"Japanese dessert. Why are you playing with me?"
"日本甜点。你为何戏弄我？"
Kick
"I don't know. I like spending time with you. How old are you?”
“我不知道。我喜欢和你在一起。你多大了？”
Kick
"Eighteen. Have you been living in Munich for your whole life?"
“十八岁。你一直住在慕尼黑吗？”
Kick
"Yes, although I lived in Berlin for a couple of years. How long have you lived in Germany?"
Kick
"Five weeks. Do you really believe in soulmates?"
"五周了。你真的相信灵魂伴侣吗？"
Kick
"Why not? What about you?"
"为什么不呢？你呢？"
Kick
"I've never thought about it. Why did you dye your hair?"
Kick
"I did it when I turned eighteen. along with a tattoo. Just felt like it. You want a tattoo?"
"我十八岁那年做的，还文了个身。就是突然想做。你想文身吗？"
Kick
"More yes than no. Do you have siblings?"
"想多过不想。你有兄弟姐妹吗？"
Kick
"Younger sister. What did you do today?"
“妹妹，你今天做了什么？”
Kick
Isagi stops. Isagi 停了下来。
He could have answered with nothing, he could have lied, but for some reason he doesn't feel like doing it.
他本可以什么都不说，本可以撒谎，但不知为何，他不想这么做。
"Pass." “过。”
Kaiser pauses and looks at him with a slight squint.
Kaiser 停顿了一下，微微眯起眼睛看着他。
"Then you owe me a wish."
"那你欠我一个愿望。"
Isagi closes his eyes. Suddenly he doesn't feel so bad about the idea of lying anymore.
Isagi 闭上了眼睛。突然间，他对撒谎的想法不再感到那么糟糕了。
"And what do you want?"
“那你想要什么？”
"A date." “一次约会。”
Isagi opens his eyes abruptly now. It doesn't make any sense. Kaiser makes no sense, this non-existent date makes no sense. He's dying, it's just selfish of him to agree. However… Isagi thinks it's a one-off, right? He knows he's lying to himself, and he knows he'll turn a blind eye. After all, he might be selfish too, given that lately all he's been doing is appeasing others without paying attention to his own feelings.
Isagi 突然睁大了眼睛。这毫无意义。Kaiser 毫无意义，这个不存在的约会毫无意义。他快要死了，同意这件事只是自私的表现。然而……Isagi 认为这只是一次性的，对吧？他知道自己是在自欺欺人，也知道他会视而不见。毕竟，考虑到最近他一直在迎合他人而忽视自己的感受，他或许也是自私的。
Perhaps he can afford to give himself over to fate. After all, she owes him one.
或许他可以任由命运摆布。毕竟，她欠他一个人情。
He looks straight at the Kaiser and tries not to hate himself for answering.
他直视着Kaiser，努力不因回应而憎恨自己。
"When?" "什么时候？"
And, oh, Kaiser almost glows.
而且，哦，Kaiser 几乎在发光。
"Right now." “就是现在。”