Have you ever found yourself suddenly, almost inexplicably, head-over-heels for someone?
你是否曾经突然发现自己对某人情有独钟，几乎是莫名其妙的？
Limerence is an involuntary state of intense romantic infatuation with another person, characterised by intrusive thoughts, fantasies, and emotional dependence.
痴迷是一种对另一个人强烈的浪漫迷恋的无意识状态，其特征是入侵性的思维、幻想和情感依赖。
It is often accompanied by anxiety, obsession, and a longing for reciprocation that can be very distressing if not received.
它常常伴随着焦虑、困扰和对回应的渴望，如果没有得到回应，可能会非常令人痛苦。
If you’re experiencing limerence, it’s important to know that you’re not alone.
如果你正在经历痴迷，重要的是要知道你并不孤单。
It is actually more common than you might think, and there are many things you can do to overcome limerence. This article will provide you with information on what limerence is, what causes it, and how to overcome it.
实际上，它比你想象的更常见，而且有很多事情可以做来克服恋爱症。本文将为您提供有关恋爱症是什么，是什么原因引起的，以及如何克服它的信息。
Why Am I Prone to Limerence?
为什么我容易产生恋爱症？
Here are some of the key factors that can contribute to limerence.
以下是一些可能导致恋爱症的关键因素。
Attachment Style 附件样式
Vulnerability 漏洞
Limerence can also be triggered by periods of vulnerability, such as stress, loneliness, or emotional turmoil. During these times, people may be more likely to seek out external validation and to idealise others. This can make them more susceptible to limerence, as they may see the limerent object as a source of comfort and security.
着迷也可能是由脆弱时期引发的，比如压力、孤独或情感困扰。在这些时候，人们可能更倾向于寻求外部认可并理想化他人。这可能使他们更容易受到着迷的影响，因为他们可能会把着迷对象视为安慰和安全的源泉。
What Makes Limerence Worse?
什么会让着迷变得更糟？
Unrequited Feelings 无报答的感情
When limerent feelings are not reciprocated, it can intensify the longing and fixation. This can be especially painful, as the limerent person may feel rejected and unloved.
当热恋的感情没有得到回应时，会加剧渴望和固执。这可能特别痛苦，因为热恋的人可能会感到被拒绝和不被爱。
Idealisation 理想化
Putting the limerent object on a pedestal and ignoring their imperfections can make limerence worse. This can create a fantasy world in which the limerent object is ‘perfect’ with the limerent person believing they’re destined to be with them.
将 limerent 对象置于神坛上，忽视他们的缺陷可能会加剧 limerence。这可能会创造一个幻想世界，在这个世界中，limerent 对象是“完美的”，limerent 人相信他们注定要和他们在一起。
Lack of Closure 缺乏结束
Uncertainty about whether or not the limerent object feels the same way can keep the limerent person in a state of unfounded optimism. This can make it difficult to move on and to let go of the limerent object.
对于 limerent 对象是否有相同的感觉的不确定性可能会使 limerent 人处于一种毫无根据的乐观状态。这可能会使人难以放手和放下 limerent 对象。
Frequent Interaction 频繁互动
Regular contact with the limerent object, whether face-to-face or online, can fuel the obsession and make it difficult to move on.
无论是面对面还是在线，与热恋对象的定期接触可能会助长痴迷，使人难以释怀。
Social Media Monitoring 社交媒体监控
Constantly checking the social media profiles of the limerent object can often worsen the obsession.
不断检查迷恋对象的社交媒体资料往往会加剧痴迷。
Personal Insecurities 个人不安全感
Low self-esteem, feelings of loneliness, and emotional voids can deepen the fixation as the individual sees the limerent object as a solution to all their issues.
自尊心低、孤独感和情感空虚会加深对迷恋对象的执着，因为个体将迷恋对象视为解决所有问题的方法。
Stress and Emotional Turmoil
压力和情绪动荡
Stressful life situations or emotional upheaval can increase the desire for escapism that limerence provides.
压力生活环境或情绪动荡可能增加对逃避现实的渴望，而 limerence 提供了这种逃避。
Romanticising the Experience
浪漫化体验
Viewing limerence as a romantic experience rather than an unhealthy obsession can make it harder to overcome it.
将迷恋视为一种浪漫体验，而不是一种不健康的痴迷，可能会使克服它变得更加困难。
Limited Social Circle 社交圈有限
Having a small social network and few outside interests can lead to over focusing on the limerent object.
社交网络小，外部兴趣少，可能导致过度关注迷恋对象。
External Validation 外部验证
Relying heavily on the limerent object to provide emotional validation can increase the sense of dependency.
过分依赖热恋对象提供情感验证可能会增加依赖感。
Mental Health Issues 心理健康问题
If you already struggle with health issues such as depression or anxiety, limerence can become more intense and have a greater impact on your well being.
如果你已经在健康问题上挣扎，比如抑郁或焦虑，那么热恋可能会变得更加强烈，并对你的健康产生更大的影响。
How to Overcome Limerence and Get Your Life Back
如何克服热恋并重新拥有你的生活
Step 1: Recognise the Impact of Limerence
步骤 1：认识热恋的影响
Start by recognising how limerence affects your emotions, thoughts, and daily life. Accept that it’s a condition and let go of the idea of romanticism.
首先要认识热恋如何影响你的情绪、思维和日常生活。接受这是一种状况，放下浪漫主义的想法。
Step 2: Prioritise Your Well-being
步骤 2：优先考虑您的幸福
Make a conscious choice to prioritise your well-being over the intense feelings of limerence. Reclaim the capacity for your own conscious choice.
自觉选择将您的幸福置于强烈的热恋感情之上。重新获得自己的自觉选择能力。
Step 3: Divert Energy Towards Self-care
步骤 3：将能量转向自我关怀
Instead of investing all your energy and time into limerence, divert it towards activities that promote self-care and personal fulfilment. Focus on your needs separate from your limerent object.
而不是将所有精力和时间投入到热恋中，将其转向促进自我关怀和个人成就的活动。专注于你与热恋对象分开的需求。
- Nurture and reconnect with loved ones: Surround yourself with individuals who truly appreciate you. Spend time with friends and family, and engage in activities that bring you joy and meaning.
培养和重新连接至所爱之人：让自己置身于真正欣赏你的人群中。与朋友和家人共度时光，并参与能给你带来快乐和意义的活动。 - Explore new hobbies, interests, or challenges: Find pastimes that spark your passion and provide a sense of accomplishment. This could involve taking up new classes, joining a club, or pursuing a personal project.
探索新的爱好、兴趣或挑战：找到能激发你激情并带来成就感的消遣。这可能包括参加新的课程、加入俱乐部或追求个人项目。 - Strive for independence: Build a fulfilling life that isn’t reliant on your fixation on a single person (LO). Focus on cultivating your own happiness and self-worth through personal growth and meaningful connections.
为独立而努力：建立一个充实的生活，不依赖于你对某个人（LO）的执念。专注于通过个人成长和有意义的人际关系培养自己的幸福和自我价值。
Step 4: Address Underlying Issues
步骤 4：解决潜在问题
- Identify and challenge cognitive distortions: Recognise and address any negative or unrealistic thoughts you may be having about yourself or the limerent object. This could involve practising mindfulness or cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT).
辨识和挑战认知失真：认识并解决你对自己或热恋对象可能存在的任何消极或不切实际的想法。这可能涉及进行正念练习或认知行为疗法（CBT）。 - Work on developing healthier attachment patterns: If you have an insecure attachment style, consider seeking professional help to develop healthier patterns of relating to others.
努力发展更健康的依恋模式：如果你有不安全的依恋风格，请考虑寻求专业帮助，以发展更健康的与他人相处模式。 - Address personal insecurity and low self-esteem: Building self-esteem and confidence can help to reduce the intensity of limerence. Engage in activities that boost your self-worth, such as pursuing your passions and practising self-care.
解决个人不安全感和自尊心低下：建立自尊和信心可以帮助减轻热恋的强度。参与能提升自我价值的活动，比如追求自己的激情和进行自我关怀。
Step 5: Seek External Support
步骤 5：寻求外部支持
- Talk to a therapist or counsellor: A therapist can provide guidance and support as you work through the challenges to overcome limerence. They can help you develop coping mechanisms, identify underlying issues, and create a personalised plan for recovery.
与心理治疗师或辅导员交谈：心理治疗师可以在您克服热恋时提供指导和支持。他们可以帮助您发展应对机制，识别潜在问题，并制定个性化的康复计划。 - Build a support network: Talk to trusted friends or family members about your struggles with limerence. Their understanding and encouragement can provide valuable support during your journey to recovery.
建立支持网络：与信任的朋友或家人谈论你对琳莫症的困扰。他们的理解和鼓励可以在你康复过程中提供宝贵的支持。
Step 6: Manage Triggers
第 6 步：管理触发器
- Limit contact with the limerent object: If possible, minimise contact with the limerent object, as this can help to reduce the intensity of limerence. Avoid social media stalking, and try to limit opportunities for interaction.
限制与热恋对象的接触：如果可能的话，尽量减少与热恋对象的接触，因为这有助于减轻热恋的强度。避免在社交媒体上偷窥，尽量减少互动的机会。 - Challenge intrusive thoughts: When intrusive thoughts about the limerent object arise, acknowledge them without judgement and redirect your attention to more positive or productive thoughts.
挑战侵入性思维：当关于热恋对象的侵入性思维出现时，不加评判地承认它们，并将注意力转向更积极或更有成效的思维。 - Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques can help you focus on the present moment and reduce the influence of limerence-related thoughts and emotions.
实践正念：正念技巧可以帮助您专注于当下，并减少琳瑰恋相关的思维和情绪的影响。
Step 7: Embrace Self-love and Completeness
第七步：拥抱自我爱与完整
- Recognise your own worth: Recognise that you are a valuable and deserving individual, regardless of the limerent object’s feelings. Focus on building self-love and acceptance.
认识自己的价值：认识到您是一个有价值且值得的个体，无论琳瑰恋对象的感受如何。专注于建立自我爱与接纳。 - Cultivate healthy relationships: Seek out fulfilling relationships with people who genuinely appreciate and respect you. These relationships can provide a sense of support and validation, reducing the need to rely on limerence for fulfilment.
培养健康的关系：寻找与真诚欣赏和尊重你的人建立充实的关系。这些关系可以提供支持和认可感，减少依赖热恋来获得满足感。 - Focus on personal growth: Pursue self-improvement and personal growth through activities that align with your values and interests. This can help you to feel more fulfilled and secure in your own identity.
专注于个人成长：通过与您的价值观和兴趣相一致的活动追求自我提升和个人成长。这可以帮助您感到更加充实和对自己的身份更加安全。 - Seek professional help when needed: If you are struggling to overcome limerence on your own, don’t hesitate to seek professional help from a therapist or counsellor. They can provide personalised support and guidance.
在需要时寻求专业帮助：如果你自己无法克服热恋，不要犹豫，寻求心理治疗师或顾问的专业帮助。他们可以提供个性化的支持和指导。
The Journey of Overcoming Limerence
克服琳默症的旅程
Everyone’s experience of limerence will be slightly different, which means the journey of overcoming limerence will also be unique. But like many mental health disorders, one can overcome limerence with the right approach and support.
每个人对琳默症的体验都会略有不同，这意味着克服琳默症的旅程也将是独特的。但像许多心理健康障碍一样，通过正确的方法和支持，人们可以克服琳默症。
How Long Does Limerence Last?
痴迷会持续多久？
The length of time that limerence lasts can vary quite greatly, usually ranging from a few months to several years.
着迷持续的时间长度可能会有很大的变化，通常从几个月到几年不等。
It depends on factors such as how emotionally resilient the individual is, the nature of their relationship with their limerent object as well as other life circumstances.
这取决于诸如个体的情感弹性如何、他们与着迷对象的关系的性质以及其他生活环境等因素。
One thing to bear in mind is that when limerence is not reciprocated, the feelings of obsessiveness and possessiveness can persist much longer due to a lack of closure.
需要记住的一件事是，当热恋没有得到回应时，由于缺乏了结，执着和占有欲的感觉可能会持续更久。
Sometimes, receiving a firm rejection can be the best medicine for those experiencing limerence, as it can jump start the healing process.
有时，接受坚定的拒绝可能是那些经历着迷恋的人的最佳良药，因为它可以启动愈合过程。
Signs Limerence Is Ending: Indicators of Change
迷恋即将结束的迹象：变化的指标
Realising that the intensity of limerence is fading can feel like an awakening The constant anxiety surrounding your Limerent Object begins to subside.
意识到热恋的强度在减弱可能会感觉像是一种觉醒。围绕你的热恋对象的持续焦虑开始减退。
Suddenly, you no longer feel like you’re ceasing up every time you’re in their presence; the overwhelming heart pounding sensation strat to soften.
突然间，你不再觉得每次在他们面前都像是停滞不前；那种压倒性的心跳感开始变得柔和起来。
It’s like emerging from a dense fog where everything in your world revolves around them and only them.
就像是从浓雾中走出来，你的世界不再围绕着他们，只有他们。
And now, there’s so much more space and capacity in your life to take on more than you’ve been able to in the recent past.
现在，你的生活中有更多的空间和能力去承担比过去更多的事情。
There’s a real sense of reclamation, and the compulsive desire to always be trying to impress and plan a fictitious future fades to black, replaced by a more realistic view of them as a person, not as a means of survival.
有一种真正的回收感，强迫性地渴望总是试图给人留下深刻印象并规划一个虚构的未来的欲望逐渐消失，被对他们更现实的看法所取代，将他们视为一个人，而不是生存的手段。
Perhaps most noticeably, your feelings towards them transition from deep neediness to one that is more neutral.
也许最明显的是，你对他们的感情从深刻的需求转变为更为中立的感情。
If you’ve been living with limerence for a long time, this transition can feel a bit strange as you adjust to a new way of being.
如果你长时间以来一直在经历着热恋，这种转变可能会感觉有点奇怪，因为你正在适应一种新的生活方式。
Realising that you’re no longer under the grip of limerence may feel weird at first. But it’s simply a shedding of your old skin and the embracing of your new more empowered version of self.
意识到你不再受着热恋的控制可能一开始会感到奇怪。但这只是蜕去你的旧皮肤，拥抱你更加自信的新版本的开始。
Limerence Relapse Prevention
热恋复发预防
While overcoming limerence is a gradual process, it is possible to prevent relapse. Here are some strategies to prevent you from falling back into old limerent patterns:
虽然克服热恋是一个渐进的过程，但是可以预防复发。以下是一些防止你重新陷入旧热恋模式的策略：
- Identify early warning signs: Learn to recognise the early signs of limerence, such as an increased interest in the limerent object and a feeling of longing.
识别早期警告信号：学会识别热恋的早期迹象，比如对热恋对象的兴趣增加和渴望的感觉。 - Develop coping mechanisms: Have a plan in place to deal with these early warning signs, such as engaging in relaxation techniques or reaching out to a support system.
制定应对机制：制定一个计划来处理这些早期警告信号，比如进行放松技巧或寻求支持系统的帮助。 - Maintain a strong support system: Keep in touch with your support network and let them know if you are feeling tempted to relapse.
维持强大的支持系统：与您的支持网络保持联系，并让他们知道如果您感到诱发复发的诱惑。
Overcoming Limerence Treatment: Therapeutic Approaches
克服恋爱症治疗：治疗方法
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Limerence: Exploring Cognitive Distortions and Adaptive Strategies
对于琳默症的认知行为疗法（CBT）：探索认知扭曲和适应性策略
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) aims to identify and challenge the underlying cognitive distortions that contribute to limerence, such as idealisation of the limerent object and belief that there has to be reciprocation. Through cognitive restructuring, individuals learn to develop more realistic and balanced thoughts, reducing the intensity of limerent emotions and behaviours.
认知行为疗法（CBT）旨在识别和挑战导致热恋的潜在认知扭曲，例如对热恋对象的理想化和认为必须有回应的信念。通过认知重构，个体学会发展更现实和平衡的想法，减少热恋情感和行为的强度。
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) for Limerence: Managing Intrusive Thoughts and Compulsive Behaviours
暴露与反应预防（ERP）治疗痴迷：管理侵入性思维和强迫行为
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) involves exposing individuals to thoughts, images, or situations related to the limerent object without avoiding or compensating for them. By confronting these triggers people learn to become accustomed to their anxiety and diminish the influence of thoughts and compulsive behaviours.
暴露与反应预防（ERP）涉及将个体暴露于与热恋对象相关的思维、形象或情境，而不是回避或补偿它们。通过面对这些触发器，人们学会逐渐适应他们的焦虑，并减少思维和强迫行为的影响。
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for Limerence: Embracing Mindfulness and Living a Values-Driven Life
热恋的接受与承诺治疗（ACT）：拥抱正念，过上价值驱动的生活
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) focuses on embracing thoughts and emotions with a non-judgemental approach fostering adaptability and emotional resilience. Individuals are encouraged to prioritise living a life aligned with their values, participating in fulfilling endeavours and connections beyond the influence of limerence thereby diminishing its control over their existence.
热恋的接受与承诺治疗（ACT）侧重于以非评判性的方式拥抱思维和情绪，促进适应性和情感韧性。鼓励个体优先过上与其价值观一致的生活，参与充实的事业和人际关系，超越热恋的影响，从而减少其对他们生活的控制。
Schema Therapy for Limerence: Addressing Underlying Core Beliefs and Unhealthy Relationship Patterns
热恋模式的模式治疗：解决潜在的核心信念和不健康的关系模式
Schema therapy explores the underlying core beliefs and past experiences from early life that might play a role in limerence. By both recognising and working with these underlying patterns, people can cultivate a better relationship dynamic and decrease the chances of relapsing back into limerent relationships in the future.
模式治疗探索了潜在的核心信念和早期生活经历，这些可能在迷恋中起作用。通过认识和处理这些潜在模式，人们可以培养更好的关系动态，并减少未来重新陷入迷恋关系的可能性。
