Chapter Text 正文章节
Twitter Feed 推特动态
Bastard München ✓ @BastardMünchen • 2h
慕尼黑混蛋 ✓ @慕尼黑混蛋 • 2 小时前
The Bundesliga season is starting up! Everyone ready?
德甲赛季即将开启！大家都准备好了吗？
[Image: The Bastard München team standing side by side, including: Michael Kaiser, Isagi Yoichi, Kurona Ranze, Hiori You, Yukimiya Kenyuu, Raichi Jingo, Alexis Ness, and more.]
[图片：巴斯塔德·慕尼黑队成员并肩站立，包括：Michael Kaiser, Isagi Yoichi, 黑羽久留奈, 结城阳莉, 雪见建雪, 雷吉·神护, 亚历克西斯·内斯, 等等。]
251 Replies | 3.7K Retweets | 52K Likes
251 条回复 | 3.7 万次转发 | 52 万次点赞
cole @redlockbluelock • 2h
科尔 @红锁蓝锁 • 2 小时前I’M SO HYPE FOR THE NEW SEASON TO START!! MORE KAISAGI MOMENTS HERE WE COME
我对新赛季的开始超级兴奋！！更多凯撒吉时刻即将到来11 Replies | 22 Retweets | 846 Likes
11 条回复 | 22 次转发 | 846 个赞Adam Franke @ThisIsAdamFranke • 2h
亚当·弗兰克 @ThisIsAdamFranke • 2 小时前I’m excited to see Ness play!
很期待看到内斯上场！4 Replies | 7 Retweets | 98 Likes
4 条回复 | 7 次转发 | 98 个赞Danny @averagereddituser • 2h
丹尼 @averagereddituser • 2 小时前Fucking come on, can we just enjoy the game without bringing fucking shipping and all that random bullshit into it?
拜托，我们能不能单纯享受比赛，别再扯什么该死的 CP 配对和那些乱七八糟的破事了？87 Replies | 55 Retweets | 34 Likes
87 条回复 | 55 次转发 | 34 个赞pri \\ comms closed @isagimybeloved_ • 2h
pri \\ 通讯关闭 @isagimybeloved_ • 2 小时前@averagereddituser bruh as long as no one’s harassing anyone just let people have their fun
@averagereddituser 伙计，只要没人骚扰别人，就让人家自得其乐吧7 Replies | 4 Retweets | 119 Likes
7 回复 | 4 转发 | 119 点赞Danny @averagereddituser • 2h
丹尼 @averagereddituser • 2 小时前@isagimybeloved_ It’s just annoying to see fr
@isagimybeloved_ 看到这个真是烦人24 Replies | 23 Retweets | 7 Likes
24 条回复 | 23 次转发 | 7 个赞pri \\ comms closed @isagimybeloved_ • 2h
pri \\ 通讯关闭 @isagimybeloved_ • 2 小时前@averagereddituser cry about it then
@averagereddituser 那就哭吧4 Replies | 7 Retweets | 103 Likes
4 条回复 | 7 次转发 | 103 个赞
dila @diladelila • 3h dila @diladelila • 3 小时前
friendly reminder to block the #kiis and #kaisagi tags if you haven’t already. they’re sure to be coming out of the woodworks again :)
温馨提醒：如果还没屏蔽#kiis 和#kaisagi 标签的话，现在正是时候。它们肯定又要铺天盖地而来了 :)
5 Replies | 1 Retweet | 2 Likes
5 条回复 | 1 次转发 | 2 个赞
catser @lightblue_kiis • 2h
catser @lightblue_kiis • 2 小时前you say that and yet literally use our tags? just block and mute and leave us alone
你这么说，却还在用我们的标签？直接拉黑、静音，别来烦我们2 Replies | 4 Retweets | 4 Likes
2 条回复 | 4 次转发 | 4 个赞dila @diladelila • 2h dila @diladelila • 2 小时前
i’m not gonna argue w someone who ships two ppl who literally hate each other
我才不会跟那些嗑两个明明互相讨厌的人的 CP 的人争论呢3 Replies | 0 Retweets | 1 Like
3 条回复 | 0 次转发 | 1 个赞catser @lightblue_kiis • 2h
catser @lightblue_kiis • 2 小时前do i need to give you the rundown on all the intricate, complex, and interesting parts of their relationship? y'know instead of just the shallow 2d caricatures you seem to think they are
我需要给你详细讲解他们关系中那些错综复杂、引人入胜的部分吗？你知道的，而不是你似乎认为的那种肤浅的二维漫画形象。2 Replies | 2 Retweets | 4 Likes
2 条回复 | 2 次转发 | 4 个赞minaaa || pls dm writing prompts @mina_shina • 2h
mina_shina || 请私信写作提示 @mina_shina • 2 小时前@diladelila Lmao you say that but ship people who haven’t even met each other
@diladelila 哈哈，你这么说，却嗑那些连面都没见过的 CP2 Replies | 4 Retweets | 7 Likes
2 条回复 | 4 次转发 | 7 个赞
Sakura @sunshinekaisagi • 4h
樱花 @sunshinekaisagi • 4 小时前
shout out to any and all kiis and bltv fanartists <3 everything you do literally keeps me alive. the blood flowing through my veins, the oxygen entering my body, it’s all thanks to kiis/bltv
向所有 KIIS 和 BLTV 的同人艺术家致敬<3 你们所做的一切真的让我活下去。我血管中流淌的血液，我体内吸入的氧气，全都归功于 KIIS/BLTV
4 Replies | 14 Retweets | 22 Likes
4 条回复 | 14 次转发 | 22 个赞
catser @lightblue_kiis • 4h
catser @lightblue_kiis • 4 小时前they cleanse my skin and water my crops. thank you kiis artists ahh
它们净化我的肌肤，滋润我的庄稼。感谢 kiis 的艺术家们，啊哈1 Reply | 2 Retweets | 8 Likes
1 回复 | 2 转发 | 8 点赞andromeda [she/her] @bmsbiggestfan • 4h
安德罗米达 [她/她] @bmsbiggestfan • 4 小时前I’ll say it a billion times but who do I need to pay to get some sort of sequel series to BLTV????
我会说无数遍，但到底要付钱给谁才能得到《BLTV》的某种续集系列呢？？？2 Replies | 7 Retweets | 11 Likes
2 条回复 | 7 次转发 | 11 个赞
***
Tumblr: Fandom Tumblr：粉丝圈
Fandometrics: Ships 粉丝指数：CP 组合
Week Ending August 4th, 2025
截至 2025 年 8 月 4 日当周1. KaiSagi
Michael Kaiser & Isagi Yoichi, Blue Lock TV, Men’s Soccer RPF
Michael Kaiser & Isagi Yoichi, 蓝色监狱 TV, 男子足球真人同人2. SatoSugu +1 2. 佐藤 Sugu +1
Gojo Satoru & Geto Suguru, Jujutsu Kaisen
3. BakuDeku -1
Bakugou Katsuki & Midoriya Izuku, Boku no Hero Academia
4. KuroSagi +4 4. 黑鹭+4
Kurona Ranze & Isagi Yoichi, Blue Lock TV, Men’s Soccer RPF
黑野兰世 & Isagi Yoichi，蓝色监狱 TV，男子足球 RPF5. Twiyor 5. 特维尔
Loid Forger & Yor Forger, SPY x FAMILY
洛伊德·佛杰与约尔·佛杰，《间谍过家家》6. Wolfstar 6. 狼星
Remus Lupin & Sirius Black, the Harry Potter universe
莱姆斯·卢平与小天狼星·布莱克，《哈利·波特》宇宙7. Merthur +1 7. 梅尔瑟+1
Merlin & Arthur Pendragon, Merlin
梅林与亚瑟·潘德拉贡，梅林8. RyuRin 8. 龙凛
Shidou Ryuusei & Itoshi Rin, Blue Lock TV, Men’s Soccer RPF
四道龙星 & Itoshi Rin, 蓝色监狱 TV, 男子足球 RPF9. BokuAka 9. 博赤
Bokuto Koutarou & Akaashi Keiji, Men’s Volleyball RPF
bokuto 高太郎 & 赤石圭二, 男子排球 RPF10. Hannigram -3 10. 汉尼格兰 -3
Hannibal Lecter & Will Graham, Hannibal
汉尼拔·莱克特与威尔·格雷厄姆，《汉尼拔》11. Shin Soukoku 11. 新双黑
Akutagawa Ryuunosuke & Nakajima Atsushi, Bungou Stray Dogs
芥川龙之介与中岛敦，文豪野犬12. NagiReo -1 12. 凪玲 -1
Nagi Seishirou & Mikage Reo, Blue Lock TV, Men’s Soccer RPF
凪诚士郎与御影玲王，蓝色监狱 TV，男子足球 RPF13. KageHina +2 13. 影日 +2
Kageyama Tobio & Hinata Shouyou, Men’s Volleyball RPF
影山飞雄 & 日向翔阳，男子排球真人同人14. ItaFushi +3 14. 伊塔夫什 +3
Itadori Yuuji & Fushiguro Megumi, Jujutsu Kaisen
虎杖悠仁与伏黑惠，咒术回战15. Piltover’s Finest 15. 皮尔特沃夫的精英
Caitlyn Kiramman & Vi, Arcane
凯特琳·基拉曼与蔚，英雄联盟：双城之战16. Destiel -10
Dean Winchester & Castiel, Supernatural
迪恩·温彻斯特与卡斯提奥，《邪恶力量》17. SasuNaru -3
Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Naruto
宇智波佐助与漩涡鸣人，《火影忍者》18. HioSagi -7
Hiori You & Isagi Yoichi, Blue Lock TV, Men’s Soccer RPF
日织悠 & Isagi Yoichi，《蓝色监狱》TV 版，男子足球真人同人19. AkaKuro 19. 赤黑
Akashi Seijuurou & Kuroko Tetsuya, Men’s Basketball RPF
赤司征十郎与黑子哲也，男子篮球真人同人20. Kanej 20. 金杰
Kaz Brekker & Inej Ghafa, the Grishaverse
卡兹·布雷克与伊内斯·加法，格里沙宇宙The number in italics indicates how many spots a ship moved up or down from the previous week. Bolded ships weren’t on the list last week.
斜体数字表示该船只相较于前一周排名上升或下降的位次。加粗显示的船只上周未上榜。[Gif: Vi presses Caitlyn Kiramman up against a wall and leans in closely.]
[动图：Vi 将凯特琳·基拉曼按在墙上并靠近。]
Source: fandom 来源：粉丝圈
#ships #08/04/2025 #piltover’s finest #arcane
#船只 #2025 年 8 月 4 日 #皮尔特沃夫的精英 #奥术
407 notes | Aug 4th, 2025
407 条笔记 | 2025 年 8 月 4 日
***
r/BlueLockTVFanfiction
chanceylock • 23 hr. ago
chanceylock • 23 小时前
Going against fanon 挑战粉丝共识
So I’ve been in the bltv fandom since the show started airing, mostly lurking and making shitty edits (please don’t ask to see them I’ve burned them all at this point). A few years back, I got super duper into kaisagi and especially fics and I’ve been devouring them ever since. I finally got the courage and motivation to try my hand at writing my own kaisagi fics!
所以自从节目开播以来，我就一直混迹在 bltv 粉丝圈，主要是潜水并制作一些糟糕的剪辑（请不要要求看它们，我已经在这一点上把它们全部烧毁了）。几年前，我超级超级迷上了 kaisagi，尤其是同人文，从那以后我就一直在大量阅读。我终于鼓起勇气和动力，尝试自己动手写 kaisagi 同人文了！
I know there are some things I always see in fics, and like rewatching bltv idk where the fanon interpretations came from. Like Isagi often has a spiny lobster stuffed animal he likes to cuddle, but then in Blue Lock, none of the players had any personal items as far as I’m aware. I think in an interview Isagi mentioned it was his favorite animal and then it just shot off from there?
我知道在同人文中总有一些我经常看到的东西，比如重看 bltv 时，我不确定这些粉丝解读是从哪里来的。比如Isagi经常有一个他喜欢拥抱的刺龙虾玩偶，但在《蓝色监狱》中，据我所知，没有一个球员有任何个人物品。我想是在一次采访中Isagi提到这是他最喜欢的动物，然后这个设定就一发不可收拾了？
Another example of fanon I’d been thinking about is how big Kaiser’s dick is. In practically every single fic I’ve read, Kaiser gets described as having a huge cock. Sometimes even in fics without smut, authors will still mention it! I’m pretty sure the origin of this fanon interpretation is insanely popular ao3 author, _kaiser_impact, and their kaisagi works. They wrote a lot of kaisagi fics during early fandom that blew up, and I think their own personal interpretations of a lot of kaisagi things just stuck around as fanon because they were so widespread.
我一直在思考的另一个粉丝文化现象是关于Kaiser的尺寸问题。几乎在我读过的每一篇同人文中，Kaiser都被描述为拥有巨大的那玩意儿。甚至在不含色情内容的文中，作者也会提及这一点！我相当确信这一粉丝解读的起源是极为知名的 AO3 作者_kaiser_impact，以及他们的 kaisagi 作品。他们在早期同人圈中创作了大量火爆的 kaisagi 同人文，我想他们个人对许多 kaisagi 元素的诠释因其广泛传播而成为了粉丝文化的一部分。
I know a lot of kaisagi stans take some of these fanon ideas as being basically canon, but like when I’m writing fic do I need to use them too? Do you guys think fans would still be okay with different interpretations?
我知道很多 kaisagi 粉丝将这些粉丝文化观念视为近乎正典，但我在写同人文时是否也需要采用它们呢？你们认为粉丝们会接受不同的解读吗？
So like would people kill me if I wrote a kaisagi fic where Kaiser has an average length dick? Would people still be interested in reading the fic?
比如，如果我写一篇 kaisagi 同人文，其中Kaiser拥有普通尺寸的那玩意儿，人们会因此对我大加指责吗？读者们还会对这篇文感兴趣吗？
14 upvotes • 27 comments sorted by Best
14 个赞 • 按最佳排序的 27 条评论
yukiyukkiiii • 23 hr. ago • 42 upvotes
yukiyukkiiii • 23 小时前 • 42 个赞
i’m not gonna lie i honestly forgot kaiser having a big dick is technically not confirmed canon
说实话，我不打算撒谎，我确实忘了kaiser的大丁丁在技术上并未被确认为正典内容
RhymesAndFires • 23 hr. ago • 11 upvotes
RhymesAndFires • 23 小时前 • 11 个赞LMAO SAME!! I was like “yeah it’s totally canon” and then remembered that we don’t really have any proof lol. It’s canon in my heart tho <3
哈哈哈一样！我当时还想“对啊，这绝对是正史”，然后才想起我们其实没什么证据笑死。但在我心里它就是正史啦<3bluelockredlock • 23 hr. ago • 29 upvotes
bluelockredlock • 23 小时前 • 29 个赞it feels canon bc michael kaiser has big dick energy
感觉像是官方设定，因为michael kaiser散发着强烈的霸气能量Meow_Pinia • 21 hr. ago • 4 upvotes
Meow_Pinia • 21 小时前 • 4 个赞I’ll take anything _kaiser_impact writes as canon. Their Fake Dating AU fic is basically gospel to me bahahaha (https://archiveofourown.org/works/xxxx)
我会把_kaiser_impact 写的任何作品都当作官方设定。他们的假扮约会 AU 同人文对我来说简直是圣经哈哈哈（https://archiveofourown.org/works/xxxx）
nagirowyourboat • 22 hr. ago • 21 upvotes
nagirowyourboat • 22 小时前 • 21 个赞
There’s a reason the tag “Michael Kaiser Has a Big Dick” has hundreds of fanfics under it… but also fanfic is your playground so you do you! Give Isagi a bunny stuffed animal! Go crazy!
“Michael Kaiser 有个大丁丁”这个标签下有数百篇同人文，这不是没有原因的……但同人创作是你的游乐场，所以随心所欲吧！给Isagi一个兔子玩偶！尽情发挥吧！
kaiserstan_ • 13 hr. ago • 7 upvotes
kaiserstan_ • 13 小时前 • 7 个赞The reason is because Kaiser stans are horny as hell HAHAHA
原因嘛，因为 Kaiser 的粉丝饥渴得要命哈哈哈
Egoist90317 • 22 hr. ago • 39 upvotes
Egoist90317 • 22 小时前 • 39 个赞
Lol write whatever you want my dude. Who gives a shit what other people think
笑死，老兄你想写啥就写啥。谁在乎别人怎么想啊
NanasesHeadband • 19 hr. ago • 14 upvotes • 1 award
NanasesHeadband • 19 小时前 • 14 个赞 • 1 个奖励This right here OP!! Your example is hilarious lmao, but when it comes to fanon vs canon, I don’t think it’s that deep. Fanfiction doesn’t need to stick entirely to canon information we know for sure; part of the fun is playing around, coming up with new headcanons and ideas, and writing whatever you want! Same thing with fanon. You don’t have to always stick to it. How else would we get our KaiSagi Omegaverse Historical Arranged Marriage AU fics?
就是这里，楼主！！你的例子太搞笑了哈哈哈，但说到同人设定与官方设定，我觉得没那么复杂。同人作品不必完全遵循我们确知的官方信息；乐趣之一就是自由发挥，创造新的设定和想法，随心所欲地写作！同人设定也是一样。你不必总是拘泥于它。否则我们怎么会有凯撒 X 剑城的历史安排婚姻 Omegaverse 同人文呢？Anyway, regardless of what you write, I’m sure you’ll have a reader out there! And if anyone harasses you or says anything rude, fuck them.
总之，无论你写什么，我相信总会有人喜欢的！如果有人骚扰你或说些难听的话，去他的。birdsandfeathers • 12 hr. ago • 3 upvotes
birdsandfeathers • 12 小时前 • 3 个赞… could you send me some kiis omegaverse historical arranged marriage au recs pwease?
…能给我推荐一些 omegaverse 历史背景下的包办婚姻 AU 作品吗？求求了~
***
r/kaiserimpactfanfics
pythonpupil • 2 mo. ago
pythonpupil • 2 个月前
fic reccs? 推荐些同人文吗？
Hello! I’ve been a soccer fan for a while, but my gf is a huge fan of Bastard München so we’ve been watching a lot of their old games together recently and yes, I have fallen into the Kaisagi rabbit hole.
你好！我一直是足球迷，但我女友是巴斯塔德·慕尼黑的超级粉丝，所以我们最近一起看了许多他们过去的比赛，没错，我也掉进了凯撒基的兔子洞。
I see kiis fans keep talking about fics by _kaiser_impact and I wanted to check them out. They have so many fics, honestly it’s kind of overwhelming and I don’t know which ones to read.
我注意到 kiis 粉丝们一直在讨论_kaiser_impact 的同人文，我也想来看看。他们的作品实在太多了，说实话有点让人不知所措，不知道该从哪篇开始读。
I need context on all these fandom jokes and quality Kaisagi content.
我需要了解这些粉丝圈的笑话和高质量的 Kaisagi 内容。
Any suggestions on where to get started?
有没有什么推荐的入门作品呢？
13 upvotes • 24 comments sorted by Best
13 个赞 • 按最佳排序的 24 条评论
kaiserstan_ • 2 mo. ago • 17 upvotes
kaiserstan_ • 2 个月前 • 17 个赞
OMG You have come to the right place! The Emperor has a large library so I can understand why it’d be daunting. Their most popular work is a fake dating au that was published around the time Isagi first started playing for Bastard München professionally called “it comes and goes in waves (and it carries us away)”. Basically rivals/enemies to lovers who start a fake relationship, half for pr reasons and half because Kaiser’s little sister is enamored with Isagi and wants to see them together. Lol it’s really cute.
天啊，你来对地方了！皇帝有个庞大的图书馆，难怪会让人望而生畏。他们最受欢迎的作品是一部假戏真做的同人文，大约在Isagi开始为混蛋慕尼黑队（Bastard München）职业效力时发表的，名为“潮起潮落（携我们远航）”。基本上是对手/敌人变恋人的故事，他们为了公关原因和Kaiser的妹妹迷恋Isagi而开始假扮情侣。哈哈，真的很可爱。
There’s a lot of random BLTV jokes that are references to that fic, so reading it will give you more context.
原文中有许多随机的 BLTV 笑话都是对该同人文的引用，所以阅读它会让你获得更多背景信息。
My personal fave is “when you feel like my soulmate (but it’s all gold)” which is a soulmate au where their soulmarks keep changing and that’s all I’ll say about that one. Just read it hehe
我个人最喜欢的是“当你感觉像我的灵魂伴侣（但全是金色）”，这是一个灵魂伴侣 AU，其中他们的灵魂印记不断变化，关于这个我就不多说了。快去读读看吧，嘿嘿。
kissagihearts • 2 mo. ago • 2 upvotes
Awww i love that one! fr their soulmate au is so underrated. i second that one!
哎呀，我超喜欢那个！他们的灵魂伴侣 AU 真是被低估了。我也支持那个！pythonpupil OP • 2 mo. ago • 2 upvotes
pythonpupil OP • 2 个月前 • 2 个赞Thank you for the reccs!
谢谢推荐！
ThroneRoomBallet • 2 mo. ago • 11 upvotes
ThroneRoomBallet • 2 个月前 • 11 赞
I highly highly recommend the pirate au! I can’t remember its name bc it’s way too long lol but if you click into _kaiser_impact’s works and filter by that au, it should be the only one there
我强烈推荐那个海盗 AU！名字太长了我不记得了哈哈，但如果你点进_kaiser_impact_的作品，用那个 AU 过滤一下，应该就只有那一个了。
I wish I could ask the Emperor what their personal faves are. It’s too bad they never respond to anyone ╥﹏╥
真希望我能问问皇帝他们个人最喜欢的是什么。可惜他们从不回应任何人 ╥﹏╥
pythonpupil OP • 2 mo. ago • 4 upvotes
pythonpupil OP • 2 个月前 • 4 个赞Thank you! I appreciate it!
谢谢！非常感谢！horizonSunny • 2 mo. ago • 2 upvotes
horizonSunny • 2 个月前 • 2 个赞I’d give anything to be able to talk to the Emperor; I just wanna pick apart their brain
我愿意付出一切，只为能与皇帝交谈；我只想剖析他们的思维
***
r/KaisersCourt
blueroses_inmyheart • 4 mo. ago • 47 awards
blueroses_inmyheart • 4 个月前 • 47 个赞
Michael Kaiser’s Dick Size
Michael Kaiser的丁丁尺寸
Listen. We all know that Michael Kaiser’s cock is thick and girthy and glorious (and perfect for dicking down Isagi Yoichi’s breedable ass all night long; people of immaculate taste following r/KaiSagi know what’s up). But there’s something us subjects of Kaiser’s Court have been dying to know: just how big is Michael Kaiser’s dick?
听着，我们都知道Michael Kaiser的那玩意儿又粗又壮又辉煌（而且非常适合整晚猛干Isagi Yoichi那适合繁殖的屁股；品味高雅的 r/KaiSagi 追随者们懂得其中的奥妙）。但作为Kaiser王庭的臣民，我们一直渴望知道的是：Michael Kaiser的丁丁到底有多大？
With this burning, all consuming question scorching through my mind, I whipped out my notebook and pen (much the same way Michael Kaiser probably whips out his massive schlong) and took to researching. We’re talking analysis. We’re talking investigation. We’re talking examination. I bought a measuring tape for this, okay.
带着这个燃烧不已、占据我全部思绪的问题，我掏出了笔记本和笔（就像Michael Kaiser可能掏出他那巨根一样），开始着手研究。我们在谈论分析，我们在谈论调查，我们在谈论检查。为此我还特意买了卷尺，明白吗。
Anything for Michael Kaiser and his glorious, glorious cock.
为了Michael Kaiser和他那辉煌无比的巨根，我可是费尽心思。
After some very thorough research, I have determined that the closest we get to seeing his legendary cock is two years ago when he modeled for this high fashion German clothing brand. Someone took a photo between shoots where he happened to be changing in the background and it leaked to the internet, thank the lord: [IMPORTANT EVIDENCE ONE]. So I did some zooming and enhancing (though it was already deliciously enhanced), and as you can see, his bulge is clearly very impressive. I compared the size of the bulge to a phone (which is around 6 inches) that’s also in the photo… and let’s just say that Kaiser’s massive dick puts it to shame.
经过一番深入研究，我发现我们能一窥他传说中的巨根的最近机会，是两年前他为一家德国高端时尚服装品牌走秀时。有人趁拍摄间隙偷拍了一张他在后台换衣服的照片，这张照片随后在网上流传开来，感谢上帝：[重要证据一]。我进行了放大和增强处理（虽然照片本身已经相当诱人），正如你所见，他的凸起部分显然非常惊人。我将凸起的大小与照片中同样出现的手机（约 6 英寸）进行了比较……可以说，Kaiser的巨根让那手机相形见绌。
There are also moments during Blue Lock TV, usually locker room scenes where you can definitely see something, either behind his towel or those wonderfully tight workout suits [IMPORTANT EVIDENCE TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN]. I rate these photos 100000 / 10. Then during his time at Bastard München over the past few years, we’ve been gifted these mesmerizing photos [IMPORTANT EVIDENCE EIGHT, NINE, TEN, ELEVEN, TWELVE, THIRTEEN, FOURTEEN] which I also rate 10000000 / 10 and prove that his dick is too powerful and he’s hiding it because the world isn’t ready to see it.
在观看《蓝色监狱》电视剧的过程中，也有一些时刻，通常是更衣室的场景，你绝对能看到些什么，无论是他毛巾后的风光还是那些紧致的运动服下[重要证据二、三、四、五、六、七]。我给这些照片打 100000 分/10 分。然后在过去的几年里，他在巴斯塔德·慕尼黑的时光中，我们又获得了这些令人着迷的照片[重要证据八、九、十、十一、十二、十三、十四]，我也给它们打 10000000 分/10 分，证明他的那玩意儿太强大了，他隐藏起来是因为世界还没准备好看到它。
We know that our beautiful Michael Kaiser has a huge fucking ego and absolutely has a massive cock to match that. <3
我们知道我们美丽的Michael Kaiser有着巨大的自我和绝对匹配的巨大那话儿。<3
In conclusion, Michael Kaiser’s cock is 8 inches MINIMUM. Most likely longer teehee.
总之，Michael Kaiser的那话儿至少有 8 英寸。很可能更长呢，嘻嘻。
Thank you for reading my analysis, fellow peasants of Kaiser’s Court.
感谢阅读我的分析，Kaiser宫廷的各位同好。
844 upvotes • 381 comments sorted by Best
844 个赞 • 381 条评论按最佳排序
actuallyKaisersStepstool • 4 mo. ago • 742 upvotes
actuallyKaisersStepstool • 4 个月前 • 742 个赞
Do you think Kaiser ever checks his fan dedicated subreddit and wonders what the fuck is going on?
你觉得Kaiser会看他专属的粉丝子版块，然后纳闷这里到底发生了什么鬼事情吗？
thunderboltboi • 4 mo. ago • 266 upvotes
thunderboltboi • 4 个月前 • 266 赞i want kaiser to check and send us a dick pic so he can finally put us all out of our misery but i feel as though we are unworthy
我希望kaiser能来看看，发张丁丁照，好让我们终于从这痛苦中解脱出来，但我感觉我们好像不配啊。egoists_wayward • 4 mo. ago • 52 upvotes
egoists_wayward • 4 个月前 • 52 赞LOLOL DO YOU THINK ISAGI OR NESS OR ANY OF THE BLUE LOCKERS EVER CHECK?!!
哈哈哈，你觉得ISAGI或者 Ness 或者任何一个蓝色锁柜的人会检查吗？！viddygaming000 • 4 mo. ago • 37 upvotes
viddygaming000 • 4 个月前 • 37 赞Fuck I hope not
该死，希望不是
michaelkaiserrailme • 4 mo. ago • 701 upvotes
michaelkaiserrailme • 4 个月前 • 701 个赞
THANK YOU FOR DOING THE HARD HITTING WORK AND GETTING US THIS VITAL INFORMATION
感谢您进行深入调查，为我们带来这些关键信息
neon_greenlight • 4 mo. ago • 455 upvotes
neon_greenlight • 4 个月前 • 455 个赞I will say that I’m both horrified and impressed in equal measures
我得说，这让我既感到震惊又印象深刻，两者程度相当。blueroses_inmyheart OP • 4 mo. ago • 190 upvotes
blueroses_inmyheart 原帖作者 • 4 个月前 • 190 个赞You’re welcome, boo ( ˘ ³˘)♥
不客气，宝贝 ( ˘ ³˘)♥cyandaydreams • 4 mo. ago • 62 upvotes
cyandaydreams • 4 个月前 • 62 个赞Hahaha pls crosspost this to r/KaiSagi!!
哈哈哈，请把这个转发到 r/KaiSagi！
dortmundAce130 • 4 mo. ago • 71 upvotes
dortmundAce130 • 4 个月前 • 71 赞
when i’m in a never touching grass competition and my opponent is a kaiser stan
当我参加一个绝不接触草地的比赛，而我的对手是kaiser的忠实粉丝时
michaelcockser • 4 mo. ago • 824 upvotes • 14 awards
michaelcockser • 4 个月前 • 824 赞 • 14 个奖项we all KNOW that Michael Kaiser has that THIRTEEN INCH massive veiny throbbing girthy fucking huge cock that's PERFECT for railing Isagi Yoichi's slutty submissive and breedable fat fucking ass LIKE WE KNOW with Kaiser's massive UNLIMITED STAMINA and perfect body and huge huge fuck pole firehose that he and Isagi would have the most RAW HARDCORE FERAL ANIMALISTIC NSFW INSANE sex imaginable that would leave Isagi's poor little hole absolutely fucking gaping sloppy messy oversensitive LIKE can you IMAGINE what that grand beautiful glorious pulsating FIVE DOLLAR FOOTLONG could do round after round after round until Isagi's fucking whining sobbing babbling moaning trembling all over Kaiser's huge fucking THIRD LEG as he fucking WRECKS HIM with his firm demanding unrelenting kaiser impact worthy thrusts which leaves Isagi GAGGING FOR IT shaky heated desperate ragged incoherent pleas which Kaiser is more than eager to comply with along with Kaiser jr ofc
我们都知道Michael Kaiser拥有那根十三英寸的巨大、青筋暴起、勃动有力、粗壮无比的完美阳具，最适合猛烈贯穿Isagi Yoichi那放荡、顺从且能孕育的肥硕屁股，就像我们熟知的那样，凭借Kaiser那无穷无尽的耐力、完美身躯和巨型性器，他与Isagi将会上演一场最为原始、硬核、野性且不适宜工作场合的疯狂性爱，足以让Isagi那可怜的小穴彻底变得松弛、凌乱、敏感至极。你能想象那根宏伟、美丽、令人振奋的五美元长棍持续不断地一轮又一轮冲击，直到Isagi全身颤抖、哭泣、喃喃自语、呻吟，在Kaiser那根巨大的第三条腿下被彻底征服，他的坚定、不容抗拒、值得冲击的猛烈抽插让Isagi因渴望而窒息，颤抖、炽热、急切、喘息着语无伦次的恳求，而Kaiser则乐于满足，当然还有Kaiser jr。blulockblu_ • 4 mo. ago • 467 upvotes
blulockblu_ • 4 个月前 • 467 赞LOL someone make this a copypasta hahahaha
哈哈，有人把这个做成复制粘贴文本吧，笑死我了。amestrisDogs • 4 mo. ago • 119 upvotes
amestrisDogs • 4 个月前 • 119 个赞I’m not even following this sub but it showed up on my feed kekjflkdf do I even wanna know what’s going on here?
我甚至没关注这个版块，但它出现在我的动态里，笑死我了，我到底想知道这里发生了什么吗？kaiserrrbm • 4 mo. ago • 221 upvotes
kaiserrrbm • 4 个月前 • 221 个赞The fact that this is so insane and yet it’s still not even in the top 10 most insane posts on this subreddit-
这个事实如此疯狂，然而在这个子版块里甚至都排不进最疯狂帖子的前十名——